S: there it is , princess. your future awaits you

P: that is Duloc?

D: yeah ,I know. you know. Shrek thinks lord Farquaad’s (弗瓜王)compensating for something. Which I think means .he has a really – Ow !

S：Um.. I ,uh… I guess we better move on

P: sure but Shrek ? I’m --I’m worried about donkey.

S: what ?

p: I mean ,look at him .he doesn’t look so good.

D: what you are talking about ? I am fine .

P: well ,that’s what they always say, and the next thing you know, you’re on your back . dead .

S : you know .she’s right . you look awful . do you want to sit down ? P: you know. I’ll make you up some tea .

D: well . i didn’t want to say nothing. But I’ve got this twinge [twind?]]in my neck , and I turn my head like this ,look. _ow !see?

S: who’s hungry ? I’ll find us some dinner,

P :I’ll get the firewood.

D: hey !where are you going ? oh , man I can’t feel my toes! I don’t have any toes ! I think I need a hug .

P: Mmm. Mmm. This is good. This is really good. what is this ? S: uh , weedrat . Rotisserie style .

P: no kidding..

S; well, this is delicious. well , they are also great in stews. Now, I don’t mean to brag ,but I make a mean wheedral stew.

P: I guess I ‘ll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.

S; maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime, I ‘ll cook all kinds of stuff of for you. Swamp toast soup, fish eye tartare…you name it,

P: I’d like that.

S：um, princess?

P: yes, Shrek ?

S:I ,umm, wondering. Are you …are you gonna eat that?

D: man, isn’t this romantic? just look at that sunset.

P: sunset? oh, no ! I mean , it’s late, it, it is very late.

S; what?

D: wait a minute. I see what’s going on here. You’re afraid of the dark, aren’t you ?

P: yes ,yes that’s it. I’m terrified. You know I’d better to go inside.

D: but don’ t feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too. Until…. Hey, no wait ,I ‘m still afraid of the dark.

P: goodnight

S; goodnight

D; oh, now, I really see what’s going on here.

S: oh, what are you talking about?

D:I don’t even wanna hear it . look, I’m an animal, and I got instincts

['insti?kt]. I know that you two are digging on each other, I could feel it. S: oh ,you’re crazy. I’m just bringing her back to Farquaad.

D: oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones['fer?m?un]. Just go in and tell her how you feel.

S:I ,there’s nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that. Well, you know….and I’m not saying that I do cause I don’t…. she’s a princess and I’m…

D: an ogre ['?uɡ?]?

S: yeah, ogre.

D; hey, where are you going?

S: to get…more firewood.

第二篇：怪物史瑞克3 1-听电影学英语-纯英文字幕-mp3歌词

注：右键重命名将此文档后缀改为：".lrc"即可变为歌词文件，在配合电影原声放在MP3、手机或电脑等移动设备上使用绝对是学习英语的好方法，故叫：听电影学英语更多资源请去://99831072[00:50.92][00:53.92]Onward, Ohauncey! [00:55.61][00:55.75]To the highest room of the tallest tower... [00:58.34][00:58.49]...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! [01:03.58][01:14.94]This is worse than "Love Leters". I hate dinner theater! [01:18.70][01:18.84]Me, too. [01:20.60][01:21.94]Whoa there, Ohauncey! [01:23.93][01:25.35]Hark! The brave Prince Oharming approacheth. [01:28.80][01:28.95]Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... [01:33.32][01:33.46]...then take my place as rightful king. [01:36.39][01:36.52]What did she say? [01:38.12][01:41.90]It's Shrek! [01:43.30][01:43.57]Whoo, Shrek, yeah! [01:45.23][01:47.47]Prepare, foul beast... [01:49.56][01:49.70]...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! [01:54.37][01:54.51]Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee [01:57.07][01:57.21]Do you mind? [01:58.47][01:58.81]Do you mind? Boring! [02:01.98][02:06.49]Prepare, foul beast... [02:08.82][02:17.83]Someday you'll be sorry. [02:20.53][02:20.67]We already are! [02:22.83][02:47.96]Mommy... [02:49.26][02:53.20]You're right. I can't let this happen. [02:56.69][02:57.54]I can't! [02:58.87][03:00.04]I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. [03:03.81][03:03.95]And I promise you this, Mother... [03:06.04][03:06.38]...I will restore dignity to my throne. [03:09.11][03:13.72]And this time, [03:14.81][03:14.96]no one will stand in my way. [03:19.12][03:36.08]Good morning. [03:37.74][03:38.75]Good morning. [03:40.41][03:42.08]Morning breath. [03:43.11][03:43.25]I know. Isn't it wonderful? [03:46.41][03:47.09]Good morning, good morning [03:48.92][03:49.59]The sun is shining through [03:51.99][03:52.13]Good morning, good morning To you [03:54.32][03:54.46]And you! And you! [03:56.59][04:00.50]They grow up so fast. [04:02.20][04:02.34]Not fast enough. [04:04.43][04:06.51]You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. [04:09.20][04:09.34]Several functions require your atendance, sir. [04:12.54][04:12.68]Great! Let's get started. [04:15.98][04:16.12]Oome on, lazybones. Time to get moving! [04:18.95][04:19.79]You need to get a pair ofjammies. [04:22.05][04:29.50]I got some sleep and I needed it [04:32.73][04:32.87]Not a lot, just a little bit [04:35.60][04:35.74]Someone's always trying to keep me from it [04:38.83][04:38.97]It's a crying shame [04:41.81][04:42.48]It's a royal pain in the neck [04:44.84][04:44.98]I knight thee. [04:46.64][05:08.50]If you're filling in for a king, you sho

uld look like one. [05:11.63][05:11.77]Oan somebody come in and work on Shrek? [05:14.83][05:16.68]I will see what I can do. [05:18.17][05:39.37]Yeah, wow. [05:41.03][05:41.87]Is this really necessary? [05:44.36][05:45.14]Quite necessary, Fiona. [05:46.80][05:46.94]- I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever. [05:49.74][05:49.88]This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! [05:53.57][05:53.72]Smiles, everyone! Smiles! [05:55.65][05:55.78]I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. [05:59.24][05:59.39]I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? [06:02.32][06:02.46]It's just until Dad gets beter. [06:04.48][06:06.56]Shrek? [06:07.89][06:09.23]You look handsome. [06:10.82][06:10.97]Oome here, you. [06:12.90][06:27.25]My but is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. [06:31.91][06:32.75]Hey, you! Oome here. What's your name? [06:35.69][06:35.82]Fiddlesworth, sir. [06:38.19][06:38.33]Perfect. [06:39.42][06:42.10]Ladies and gentlemen... [06:44.46][06:44.60]...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! [06:47.76][06:52.11]Ahh! You've got it. [06:53.87][06:54.01]A litle to the left. [06:55.53][06:56.78]That's it! That's good. [06:58.97][06:59.11]Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. [07:02.21][07:02.35]Shrek! [07:03.78][07:08.69]My eye! [07:09.82][07:09.96]What are you doing? [07:11.12][07:17.70]Fiona! [07:18.69][07:21.80]- Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. [07:25.03][07:28.64]Shrimp! My favorite! [07:30.98][07:41.49]- That's it! We're leaving! - Oalm down. [07:44.19][07:44.33]Oalm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. [07:49.26][07:49.40]I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. [07:52.99][07:57.07]I think that went well. [07:58.44][07:58.57]Donkey! [07:59.80][07:59.94]Oome on, Shrek! [08:01.67][08:02.18]Some people just don't understand boundaries. [08:05.41][08:14.69]Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... [08:19.29][08:19.43]...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... [08:22.73][08:22.86]...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. [08:25.77][08:25.90]You had me at "vermin-filled". [08:28.53][08:29.37]And, um... maybe even the piter-pater of litle feet on the floor. [08:34.21][08:34.71]That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. [08:37.41][08:37.55]Uh, no. [08:38.91][08:39.05]What I'm thinking of is a litle bigger than a swamp rat. [08:42.74][08:42.88]Donkey? [08:43.91][08:44.05]No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... [08:47.71][08:48.99]...they were litle ogre feet? [08:51.12][08:57.57]Honey, let's be rational about this. [09:00.93][09:01.07]Have you seen a baby lately? [09:03.43][09:03.57]They just eat and poop, and they cry... [09:06.77][09:06.91]...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. [09:10.28][09:10.41]Now, imagine an ogre baby. [09:13.2

1][09:13.35]They extra-cry and they extra-poop. [09:17.15][09:17.29]Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? [09:20.88][09:21.02]Right now, you're my family. [09:24.58][09:28.60]Somebody beter be dying. [09:30.76][09:32.70]I'm dying. [09:34.93][09:37.27]Harold? [09:38.43][09:40.61]Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. [09:43.70][09:43.84]Of course, darling. [09:45.78][09:47.52]Fiona. [09:48.57][09:48.72]Yes, Daddy? [09:50.24][09:50.38]I know I made many mistakes with you. [09:53.11][09:54.12]It's okay. [09:55.59][09:55.72]But your love for Shrek has... [09:57.85][09:58.79]...taught me much. [10:00.19][10:02.33]My dear boy... [10:04.32][10:04.47]...I am proud to call you my son. [10:07.73][10:07.87]And I'm proud to call you my frog... [10:11.00][10:11.14]...King dad-in-law. [10:13.57][10:13.71]Now there is a mater of business to atend to. [10:19.31][10:29.66]The Frog King... is dead. [10:32.65][10:40.84]Put your hat back on, fool. [10:42.80][10:42.94]Shrek... [10:44.53][10:44.67]...please come hither. [10:46.33][10:50.18]Yeah, Dad? [10:51.54][10:51.68]This kingdom needs a new king. [10:54.84][10:56.18]You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. [11:00.85][11:02.52]Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. [11:06.72][11:06.86]Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. [11:10.19][11:13.87]Oome on, Dad. An ogre as king? [11:17.57][11:17.71]That's not such a good idea. [11:20.23][11:20.37]There must be somebody else. Anybody! [11:23.67][11:23.81]Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. [11:29.01][11:29.15]Really? Who is he, Dad? [11:32.35][11:32.49]His name is... [11:34.55][11:35.92]...is... [11:36.98][11:37.12]What's his name? [11:38.75][11:38.89]...is... [11:40.49][11:42.40]Daddy! [11:43.49][12:00.75]His name is Arthur. [12:02.72][12:02.85]Arthur? [12:04.25][12:08.59]I know you'll do... [12:11.79][12:11.93]...what's right. [12:14.59][12:17.63]Harold? [12:18.96][12:19.10]Dad? Dad! [12:20.66][12:22.10]Dad? [12:23.33][12:23.94]Do your thing, man. [12:25.53][12:55.47]When you were young and your heart [12:59.34][12:59.47]Was an open book [13:01.63][13:03.64]You used to say live and let live [13:07.77][13:07.92]You know you did, you know you did You know you did [13:11.25][13:12.05]But if this ever changing world In which we live in [13:17.12][13:17.99]Makes you give in and cry [13:22.16][13:24.67]Say live and let die [13:26.83][13:30.27]Live and let die [13:31.93][14:08.44]Hey, lady You, lady [14:12.21][14:13.21]Cursing at your life [14:15.38][14:16.05]You're a discontented mother [14:18.71][14:20.39]And a regimented wife [14:23.05][14:48.75]What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? [14:51.91][14:53.25]Ah, Mabel! [14:54.95][14:55.09]Why they call you an ugly s

tepsister, I'll never know. [14:59.49][15:00.59]Where's Doris? Taking the night off? [15:03.69][15:03.83]She's not welcome here, and neither are you. [15:07.60][15:09.27]What do you want, Oharming? [15:11.30][15:11.44]Not much. Just a chance at redemption. [15:15.50][15:17.11]And a Fuzzy Navel. [15:18.58][15:18.71]And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! [15:21.77][15:26.22]We're not your friends. [15:27.85][15:30.06]You don't belong here. [15:32.18][15:32.33]You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? [15:36.49][15:36.63]Do a number on his face. [15:38.26][15:38.40]Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. [15:43.00][15:43.14]Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? [15:47.04][15:47.17]Oh, what's it to you? [15:48.27][15:48.41]They left you the unfairest of them all. [15:50.67][15:50.81]Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. [15:55.34][15:55.48]How does that feel? [15:57.31][16:02.79]Prety unfair. [16:04.38][16:04.53]And you! [16:05.92][16:06.06]Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. [16:10.69][16:12.20]I hate that litle wooden puppet. [16:14.29][16:14.44]And Hook. [16:16.40][16:16.54]Need I say more? [16:18.13][16:21.84]- And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin. [16:24.61][16:24.75]Where's that firstborn you were promised? [16:27.37][16:29.78]Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your litle fat foot... [16:33.69][16:33.82]...into that tiny glass slipper? [16:35.72][16:38.39]Oinderella is in Far Far Away right now... [16:41.92][16:42.06]...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... [16:47.09][16:47.23]...that has ever done you wrong! [16:49.70][16:49.84]Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. [16:54.77][16:54.91]But there are two sides to every story... [16:57.78][16:57.95]...and our side has not been told! [17:00.47][17:00.61]So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? [17:05.48][17:05.62]Who wants their... [17:07.28][17:07.42]..."happily ever after"? [17:10.58][17:27.78]This way, gents. [17:29.44][17:40.79]It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. [17:45.82][17:45.96]But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. [17:49.76][17:49.90]As are you. [17:52.33][17:52.47]And, uh, you. [17:54.83][17:54.97]I don't know you, but I'd like to. [17:58.13][17:59.31]I got to go! [18:00.64][18:02.04]I don't wanna leave you either. [18:03.74][18:03.88]But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. [18:06.71][18:07.65]But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! [18:10.98][18:12.32]Be strong, babies. [18:13.68][18:13.82]Ooco, Peanut, listen to your mama. [18:16.26][18:16.39]Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. [18:20.38][18:22.40]That's my special bo

y! [18:24.02][18:24.16]Oome here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! [18:27.26][18:33.84]Shrek? [18:35.17][18:36.18]Maybe you should just stay and be King. [18:40.48][18:40.61]Oome on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. [18:44.14][18:44.28]That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. [18:47.28][18:47.42]It's not that. You see... [18:49.95][18:50.09]And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. [18:54.55][18:54.70]Here's persuasion... and here's reason. [18:58.03][19:00.43]Fiona... [19:01.83][19:01.97]...soon it's just going to be you, me... [19:05.23][19:05.37]...and our swamp. [19:07.03][19:08.88]It's not going to be just you and me. [19:11.37][19:12.65]All aboard! [19:14.55][19:15.72]It will be. I promise. [19:18.55][19:19.72]I love you. [19:21.21][19:27.83]That's lovely. [19:29.49][19:29.63]Bye-bye, babies! [19:31.22][19:38.81]Shrek! [19:40.00][19:41.24]- Wait! - What is it? [19:43.44][19:43.58]I'm... I'm... [19:45.07][19:49.08]I love you, too, honey! [19:50.95][19:51.08]No! I said I'm... [19:53.92][19:56.92]You're what? [19:58.36][19:58.49]I said I'm pregnant! [20:00.93][20:05.10]What was that? [20:06.57][20:06.70]You're going to be a father! [20:09.76][20:11.61]That's great! [20:13.40][20:13.54]Really? I'm glad you think so! [20:16.81][20:16.94]I love you! [20:18.34][20:18.48]Yeah! [20:20.47][20:20.61]Me, too! You! [20:22.95][20:26.82]I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! [20:30.31][20:30.46]And you, my friend, are royally... [20:33.52][21:12.23]Home. [21:13.22][21:25.51]Shrek! [21:26.84][21:29.18]Fiona! [21:30.51][21:34.52]Fiona? [21:35.85][21:55.08]Oh, no. [21:56.47][21:59.65]Beter out than in, I always say. [22:02.55][22:12.23]No, no, no! [22:13.56][22:15.73]It's okay. It's gonna be all right. [22:18.29][22:23.57]Stop! Hey, wait! [22:25.73][23:15.12]Donkey. Donkey! [23:16.65][23:16.79]Wake up! [23:18.02][23:20.46]Dada! [23:21.79][23:24.23]Shrek! Are you okay? [23:26.22][23:27.97]I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? [23:33.50][23:33.64]Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... [23:37.84][23:37.98]...a powerful urge sweeps over him. [23:40.50][23:40.65]I know how it happened. [23:43.14][23:43.98]I just can't believe it. [23:46.04][23:48.82]How does it happen? [23:50.65][23:57.66]And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon [24:02.93][24:03.07]Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon [24:05.70][24:05.84]When you coming home, son? I don't know when [24:08.43][24:08.58]But we'll get together then, Dad. [24:10.87][24:11.01]Donkey! Oan you just cut to the part [24:13.00][24:13.15]where you're supposed to make me feel beter? [24:15.67][24:16.42]You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? [24:18.94][24:19.09]What I am talking ab

out is you, me, my cousin's boat... [24:23.15][24:23.29]...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. [24:28.89][24:29.03]Don't listen to him! [24:30.89][24:31.03]Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. [24:33.73][24:33.87]It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's. [24:38.40][24:38.54]When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre"... [24:42.84][24:42.98]...or "as nurturing as an ogre"... [24:45.41][24:45.55]...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." [24:49.91][24:50.05]Okay. I get it. [24:51.81][24:51.95]It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. [24:55.41][24:55.56]That's true. [24:57.25][24:57.39]I'm doomed. [24:58.86][24:58.99]You'll be fine. [25:00.65][25:01.56]You're finished. [25:03.46][25:05.73]Uh, with yourjourney. [25:08.39][25:16.58]"Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? Now that sounds fancy! [25:21.01][25:21.15]It's Worcestershire. [25:22.48][25:22.62]Like the sauce? [25:24.45][25:24.58]It's spicy! [25:25.92][25:29.76]They must be expecting us. [25:31.59][25:37.50]What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? [25:40.30][25:40.43]Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. [25:45.63][25:45.77]High school? [25:46.93][25:47.07]Ready? Okay! [25:48.63][25:48.78]Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? [25:51.21][25:51.34]Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? [25:55.30][25:55.45]Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! [25:57.92][26:03.19]All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. [26:07.18][26:10.53]For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. [26:14.23][26:14.37]I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! [26:17.86][26:18.00]How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? [26:22.67][26:22.81]Let's just say some things are beter left unsaid. [26:25.71][26:25.85]So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." [26:29.91][26:30.05]- Oh, totally. - Pardon me. [26:32.38][26:32.52]- Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally. [26:35.32][26:36.92]I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. [26:39.52][26:39.66]Hi. We're looking for someone named... [26:42.22][26:42.36]Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? [26:46.89][26:48.74]I know you're busy not fiting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? [26:53.23][26:53.37]He's over there. [26:54.67][27:14.86]There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! [27:19.26][27:21.70]Strong, handsome, face of a leader. [27:24.57][27:24.70]Does Arthur look like a king or what? [27:28.04][27:29.21]Sorry. [27:30.54][27:31.28]Did you say you were looking for Arthur? [27:33.91][27:34.05]That information is on a need-to-know basis. [27:36.48][27:36.62]It's top secret! [27:38.31][27

:38.45]Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! [27:42.05][27:44.56]Greetings, Your Majesty. [27:46.18][27:46.33]This is your lucky day. [27:47.88][27:48.73]What are you supposed to be? [27:50.82][27:50.96]Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? [27:54.23][27:55.24]Giant mutant... You made a funny. [27:58.73][27:59.24]Unhand me, monster! [28:01.17][28:01.31]Stop squirming, Arthur. [28:03.28][28:03.41]I'm not Arthur. [28:05.74][28:07.75]I am Lancelot. [28:10.27][28:10.42]That dork over there is Arthur. [28:13.08][28:19.16]This is, like, totally embarrassing... [28:21.35][28:21.49]...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. [28:24.09][28:24.23]She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. [28:27.63][28:27.77]Excuse me? [28:28.86][28:29.00]Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. [28:32.94][28:36.38]Oh, Arthur... [28:38.47][28:38.61]...come out, come out, wherever you are! [28:42.31][28:44.35]You beter run, you litle punk no-goodniks! [28:46.98][28:47.12]The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! [28:50.52][28:56.63]Hold it. [28:57.96][28:58.63]We're here for the mascot contest. [29:00.69][29:05.37]We're here for the mascot contest, too. [29:08.57][29:08.71]This is a costume? [29:11.23][29:11.38]Worked on it all night long. [29:13.37][29:14.71]Looks prety real to me. [29:16.51][29:16.65]If he were real, could I do this? [29:19.05][29:20.72]Or this? [29:22.38][29:23.66]If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. [29:28.53][29:28.66]- Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys. [29:31.86][29:32.00]Thank you to Professor Primbotom and his lecture... [29:35.80][29:35.94]...on "just say nay". [29:37.33][29:38.27]And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... [29:42.54][29:42.68]...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... [29:46.17][29:47.35]...ogre? [29:48.34][29:50.42]That's right. I'm the new mascot. [29:52.71][29:52.85]So let's really try and beat the other guys at... [29:56.48][29:56.62]...whatever it is they're doing! [29:59.75][30:03.30]This is all a bit unorthodox... [30:06.29][30:06.43]Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? [30:10.10][30:12.37]Hey, wait... [30:13.86][30:17.98]Olassic. [30:19.60][30:19.75]You should be ashamed of yourself! [30:21.44][30:21.58]I didn't do it. They did. [30:23.98][30:28.79]Please don't eat me. [30:30.52][30:30.66]Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! [30:32.99][30:33.99]I'm not here to eat him! [30:36.66][30:38.13]Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. [30:40.76][30:40.90]You're the new King of Far Far Away. [30:43.13][30:43.27]What? [30:44.93][30:46.47]Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! [30:50.67][30:55.42]Burn. [30:56.40][31:00.02]Is this for real? [31:01.15][31:01.29]Absolutely. Olean out your l

ocker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. [31:05.69][31:05.83]So, wait... l'm really the only heir? [31:08.49][31:09.83]The one and only. [31:11.16][31:12.50]Give me a second. [31:14.16][31:16.50]My good people... [31:18.16][31:18.30]...there's a lesson here for all of us. [31:21.03][31:21.17]Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, [31:25.47][31:25.61]"Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. [31:28.10][31:28.85]Maybe I should cut him some slack. [31:31.21][31:31.35]'Oause maybe... just maybe... [31:34.72][31:34.85]...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? [31:38.55][31:38.69]Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." [31:43.72][31:43.86]I'm looking at you, jousting team! [31:46.73][31:47.07]And Guin? Oh, Guin. [31:50.26][31:51.14]I've always loved you. [31:52.47][31:54.34]Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... [31:56.90][31:57.04]...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! [32:00.54][32:00.68]Okay, let's not overdo it. [32:02.27][32:02.42]I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n' roll! [32:05.75][32:05.89]You just overdid it. [32:07.75][32:16.90]Look at you! [32:18.52][32:18.67]You look darling. [32:20.19][32:20.33]Just precious. Look at her. [32:22.53][32:22.67]Any cravings since you got pregnant? [32:25.04][32:25.17]No. Not at all. [32:27.80][32:28.64]Do you smell ham? [32:30.37][32:30.51]It's present time! [32:33.64][32:35.52]Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. [32:39.58][32:39.72]"Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! [32:44.35][32:44.49]"Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." [32:47.48][32:48.83]- Look at that! - What is it? [32:50.49][32:52.07]It's for the poopies. [32:54.53][32:54.67]Wait... babies poop? [32:56.23][32:56.37]Everyone poops, Beauty. [32:57.70][32:57.84]Fiona! [32:59.30][32:59.44]We all chipped in for a litle present, too. [33:02.27][33:03.18]Ta-da! [33:04.73][33:05.95]You know the baby will love it, because I do! [33:08.78][33:08.92]Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. [33:11.88][33:12.02]Who's this one from? [33:13.42][33:13.55]I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. [33:16.49][33:16.62]"Have one on me. Love, Snow White." [33:19.68][33:22.53]What is it? [33:24.16][33:24.30]He's a live-in babysiter. [33:25.82][33:25.97]Where's the baby? [33:27.06][33:27.20]You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. [33:31.26][33:31.40]It's nothing. I have six more at home. [33:33.77][33:33.91]- What does he do? - Oleaning. [33:35.67][33:35.81]- Feeding. - Burping. [33:37.40][33:37.54]So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? [33:40.01][33:40.15]Work on your marriage. [33:42.27][33:42.42]Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? [33:46.28][33:46.42]Oome on now, Fiona. You know

what happens. [33:50.45][33:51.39]You're tired all the time. [33:53.42][33:53.56]You start leting yourself go. [33:55.29][33:55.43]Stretch marks. [33:56.59][33:56.73]Say goodbye to romance. [33:58.06][34:00.40]I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? [34:03.84][34:03.97]She's right! [34:05.53][34:05.67]A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. [34:10.11][34:10.24]How did Shrek react when you told him? [34:13.08][34:14.25]When he first found out, Shrek said... [34:17.41][34:30.26]Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! [34:34.60][34:40.27]Now... bombs away! [34:42.43][34:58.96]Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. [35:01.83][35:01.96]- His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy. [35:04.43][35:22.98]Enough pillaging! To the castle! [35:26.65][35:45.00]You go! Take care of the baby! [35:46.47][35:46.61]Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! [35:49.77][35:54.18]Everyone in! Now! [35:56.31][35:56.45]Oome on! Put some back into it! [35:58.58][36:01.92]We don't have time. Now go! [36:03.41][36:03.56]Quickly, ladies! [36:05.35][36:07.63]We'll hold them off as long as we can! [36:09.19][36:24.88]Where are Shrek and Fiona? [36:27.28][36:27.41]The name doesn't ring a bell. [36:29.57][36:29.72]No bell. [36:31.41][36:31.55]I suggest you freaks cooperate... [36:34.92][36:35.05]...with the new King of Far Far Away! [36:37.65][36:37.79]The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! [36:41.49][36:41.63]- Hook! - Right! [36:43.93][36:44.06]Avast, ye cookie. [36:46.29][36:48.90]Start talking. [36:50.56][36:54.94]- Gingy! - Papa! [36:56.43][36:56.58]Setle down now. [36:57.94][37:11.92]On the good ship Lollipop [37:15.22][37:15.36]It's a sweet trip to the candy shop [37:18.80][37:18.93]You! [37:19.92][37:20.77]You can't lie. [37:22.96][37:23.10]So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? [37:26.77][37:29.78]Well... I don't know where he's not. [37:33.01][37:33.15]You don't know where Shrek is? [37:35.34][37:35.48]It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... [37:38.08][37:38.22]...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. [37:42.48][37:42.62]So you do know where he is! [37:43.99][37:44.12]On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less [37:46.65][37:46.79]not definitely rejecting the idea [37:49.02][37:49.16]that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... [37:52.82][37:52.97]Stop it! [37:53.95][37:54.10]...I do not know where he shouldn't be. [37:56.23][37:56.37]If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. [37:58.84][37:58.97]Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... [38:02.57][38:02.71]On the good ship Lollipop [38:04.94][38:05.08]Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! [38:09.48][38:12.49]He's bringing back the next heir? [38:14.28][38:14.42]No! [38:15.91][38:1

7.16]Hook! Get rid of this new "King". [38:20.35][38:20.49]But bring Shrek to me. [38:22.36][38:22.50]I have something special in mind for him. [38:25.69][38:25.83]He'll never fall for your tricks! [38:27.99][38:29.67]Oh, boy. [38:31.33][38:41.18]I can't believe it. Me, a king? [38:44.21][38:44.35]I knew I came from royalty, but... [38:47.38][38:47.52]...I figured everyone forgot about me. [38:49.61][38:49.76]Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. [38:53.49][38:53.63]Really? Wow. [38:56.19][38:57.53]But I know it's not all fun and games. [38:59.76][38:59.90]It really is all fun and games, actually. [39:02.89][39:03.04]Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. [39:06.63][39:06.77]By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the botle. [39:11.11][39:11.24]Any idiot can hit a boat with a botle. [39:14.04][39:14.88]Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. [39:17.82][39:17.95]This is going to be huge. [39:19.92][39:20.05]Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. [39:24.92][39:25.06]You'll be living in the lap of luxury. [39:27.92][39:28.06]The finest chefs will wait for your order. [39:30.53][39:30.66]And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. [39:33.63][39:33.77]What do they do? [39:35.46][39:35.60]Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. [39:40.20][39:40.34]- Poisoned? - Or too salty. [39:42.93][39:43.08]Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. [39:46.60][39:46.75]All of them willing at a moment's notice [39:49.01][39:49.15]to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. [39:51.98][39:52.12]Really? [39:53.55][39:53.69]The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. [39:56.71][39:57.09]Make sure they don't die of famine! [39:59.02][39:59.16]- Or plague. - Plague is bad. [40:00.89][40:01.03]The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. [40:03.93][40:05.50]Festering sores! You are one funny kity cat. [40:09.94][40:10.60]What did I say? [40:12.00][40:12.14]We don't want Artie geting the wrong idea. [40:14.50][40:15.27]Artie? [40:16.43][40:20.71]There goes my hip! [40:22.48][40:22.62]Artie! What are you doing? [40:24.78][40:26.72]What does it look like?! [40:28.85][40:31.52]This really isn't up to you. [40:33.99][40:34.13]I don't know anything about being king! [40:36.99][40:37.13]You'll learn on the job! [40:39.06][40:40.97]Sorry, but I'm going back. [40:43.49][40:43.64]Back to what? Being a loser? [40:46.07][40:49.64]Now look what you did! [40:51.20][40:51.98]Look what I did? _ Who's holding the wheel, chief? [40:55.81][40:56.82]Shrek! [40:58.31][41:10.66]Land ho! [41:12.65][41:25.18]How humiliating. [41:27.01][41:28.01]Oh, nice going, Your Highness. [41:30.95][41:31.08]Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? [41:34.78][41:34.92]If you t

hink this is geting you out of anything, it isn't. [41:37.82][41:37.96]We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... [41:41.72][41:41.86]...and you're going to be a father! [41:44.30][41:44.43]What? [41:45.86][41:46.70]You just said "father". [41:48.26][41:48.40]King! You're going to be king! [41:51.13][41:51.27]"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. [41:54.26][41:55.47]Where are you going? [41:56.91][41:57.04]Far Far Away... from you! [41:59.51][41:59.65]Get back here, young man! [42:01.61][42:03.58]Boss? I don't think he's coming back. [42:06.07][42:06.22]Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. [42:09.42][42:09.56]When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? [42:12.79][42:12.93]Oome on. Why would I do that? [42:15.76][42:15.90]Besides, he'll be ten times beter at it than me. [42:18.96][42:19.10]Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. [42:23.06][42:25.40]You're right, Donkey. [42:27.24][42:29.58]What about this? [42:31.10][42:31.24]- Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke. [42:35.08][42:36.65]Still... [42:37.98][42:54.77]Listen, Artie. [42:56.43][42:57.00]If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. [43:02.13][43:02.27]I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. [43:06.40][43:06.55]But what I am screamin' is, yo... [43:08.67][43:08.81]...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! [43:12.01][43:12.15]If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying [43:14.24][43:14.39]ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! [43:17.32][43:17.46]You're geting on my last nerve." [43:19.89][43:20.03]And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! [43:23.02][43:24.63]Help! [43:25.82][43:25.97]I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! [43:29.37][43:29.50]- Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello? [43:33.13][43:34.64]Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. [43:38.34][43:38.48]Welcome to my serenity circle. [43:40.41][43:40.55]Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. [43:44.68][43:44.82]Now prepare to... [43:46.65][43:52.32]I knew I should have got that warranty! [43:55.16][43:58.06]Mr. Merlin? [43:59.53][43:59.67]You know this guy? [44:01.13][44:01.27]Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. [44:05.53][44:05.67]Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. [44:09.04][44:09.17]At the request of my therapist, [44:11.27][44:11.41]and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature [44:15.04][44:15.18]to discover my divine purpose. [44:17.34][44:18.85]Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? [44:22.25][44:22.39]Uh, no. [44:23.48][44:23.62]Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? [44:26.96][44:29.86]It's organic. [44:31.33][44:31.46]Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. [44:33.90][44:

34.03]We need directions to Far Far Away. [44:36.97][44:37.10]"We"? Who said I was going with you? [44:39.63][44:39.77]I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. [44:44.14][44:44.28]If the job's so great, you do it. [44:46.34][44:46.88]Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. [44:51.15][44:51.28]That was your Mr. Nice Guy? [44:53.58][44:53.72]Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. [44:55.65][44:55.79]Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! [45:00.19][45:00.33]Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... [45:04.85][45:05.00]...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? [45:09.02][45:09.17]I could tell you, but since you're [45:11.00][45:11.14]in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, [45:13.66][45:13.81]it would be karmically irresponsible. [45:16.33][45:16.48]Self-destructive? Are you going to help us or not? [45:20.14][45:20.28]Most definitely, but only after you [45:22.87][45:23.02]take the journey to your soul! [45:26.21][45:26.35]I don't think so. [45:27.72][45:27.85]It's either that or primal scream therapy. [45:31.69][45:33.76]All right. Journey to the soul. [45:36.42][45:37.26]Now, all of you, [45:39.13][45:39.26]look into the Fire of Truth [45:41.79][45:41.93]and tell me what you see. [45:44.93][45:47.77]Ooh, charades! [45:49.64][45:49.78]Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! [45:54.54][45:54.68]Okay, monster... go for it. [45:57.27][46:05.96]I see a rainbow pony. [46:07.65][46:07.79]Excellent work! Now the boy. [46:09.73][46:09.86]This is lame. [46:11.33][46:11.46]You're lame! Now just go for it. [46:13.73][46:15.30]Okay. [46:16.63][46:17.47]There's a baby bird and a father bird siting in a nest. [46:21.91][46:22.04]Yes! Stay with it! [46:24.03][46:24.88]The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the litle bird all alone? [46:28.87][46:29.55]It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. [46:32.98][46:33.89]It's going to fall! [46:36.05][46:40.89]Proper head case you are. Really messed up. [46:44.89][46:48.23]Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? [46:53.23][47:05.25]Look, Artie, um... [47:07.91][47:12.26]Just thought I'd help set the mood... [47:15.02][47:15.16]...for your big heart-to-heart chat. [47:18.49][47:26.94]I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. [47:30.27][47:32.61]Even ogres get scared. [47:34.94][47:35.78]You know... once in a while. [47:38.61][47:40.62]I know you want me to be king, but I can't. [47:44.39][47:44.52]I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. [47:47.39][47:48.29]Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. [47:50.78][47:50.93]He dumped me at that school first chance he got... [47:54.13][47:54.80]...and I never heard from him again. [47:57.13][47:58.80]My dad wasn't re

ally the fatherly type, either. [48:02.64][48:03.14]I doubt he was worse than mine. [48:05.30][48:06.14]Oh, yeah? [48:07.44][48:07.58]My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. [48:11.64][48:12.48]I guess I should have realized it. [48:14.68][48:14.82]He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. [48:19.09][48:20.99]I guess that's prety bad. [48:23.48][48:25.83]It may be hard to believe, [48:28.03][48:28.17]what, with my obvious charm and good looks, [48:31.62][48:31.77]but people used to think I was a monster. [48:34.71][48:34.84]And for a long time, I believed them. [48:38.50][48:40.51]But after a while, [48:42.10][48:42.25]you learn to ignore the names people call you [48:45.77][48:45.92]and just trust who you are. [48:48.25][48:50.36]You know... you're okay, Shrek. [48:53.52][48:54.36]You just need to do a litle less yelling and use a litle more soap. [48:57.92][48:59.26]Thanks, Artie. [49:00.89][49:01.03]The soap's because you stink... really bad. [49:04.70][49:05.87]Yeah... I got that. [49:08.36][49:12.38]This place is filthy! [49:15.24][49:15.55]I feel like a hobo. [49:17.14][49:18.38]I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. [49:21.15][49:21.29]Everything's always about you. It's not like your atitude is helping. [49:25.85][49:25.99]Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. [49:29.69][49:29.83]You mean in that rigged election? [49:31.92][49:32.06]Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... [49:35.03][49:35.17]...let down thy golden extensions!" [49:38.30][49:38.44]Ladies, let go of your pety complaints and let's work together! [49:43.24][49:46.21]So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly [49:49.20][49:49.35]in this stinkhole until we rot. [49:51.44][49:51.58]No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. [49:55.11][49:55.25]I know he's a jerk and everything, [49:57.95][49:58.09]but that Oharming makes me hoter than July. [50:02.25][50:03.60]That's it! [50:04.93][50:32.96]Oome on! This way! [50:35.32][50:35.46]Rapunzel, wait! [50:36.45][50:45.97]Oharming, let go of her. [50:47.80][50:47.94]But why would I want to do that? [50:50.57][50:56.11]What? [50:57.10][50:57.25]Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. [51:02.35][51:06.36]Rapunzel, how could you? [51:08.16][51:08.29]Jealous much? [51:10.56][51:10.70]Soon you'll be back where you started, [51:13.13][51:13.27]scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. [51:15.89][51:16.03]That is, if I let you last the week. [51:19.66][51:21.97]Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. [51:24.57][51:24.71]Not here, kiten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. [51:28.70][51:29.45]Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. [51:31.97][51:32.12]Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. [51:35.38][51:35.52]Sorry?! [51:36.92][51:37.06]Don't you rea

lize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... [51:41.32][51:41.46]...he's doomed? [51:43.22][52:22.77]Look out! They got a piano! [52:24.39][52:24.54]Kill them all... except the fat one. [52:27.90]