西大-外国语学院
浅析中美家庭教育观的差异-以《家有儿女》和《摩登家庭》为例
Analysis of Differences of Family Education Concepts between China and America from Home with Kids and Modern Family
摘 要：家庭教育是指父母对孩子采取的教育方式，会对孩子的成长和发展所产生影响。它是整个学校教育和社会教育的基础，同时它对塑造孩子的价值观、世界观起着关键作用。本文以《家有儿女》和《摩登家庭》为例探索中美家庭教育观的差异，为中国家庭教育提供借鉴。
Abstract ：Family education is the ways that parents educate their children, which exerts influence on children development. It is also the basis of school and social education, playing a key role in shaping children’s values and world views. In this paper, TV series Home with Kids and Modern Family are cited, to explore the differences of family education concepts between China and America, expecting it can work as a reference for Chinese family education.
一、引言
在历史长河的积淀中，每一种文化都衍生出其带有民族特色的家庭价值观。由于思想观念的基础以及文化传统的迥异，中美家庭文化蕴含着不同的价值观，具有各自鲜明的特征。《家有儿女》是中国大陆的一部关于少儿题材的情景喜剧，采用重组家庭作为故事展开的平台。夏东海离婚后带着7岁的儿子夏雨、女儿夏雪，后与刘梅结婚。刘梅也曾离异，并带有一子叫刘星。《摩登家庭》是美国 2009 年开始上映的情景喜剧片以父亲老夫少妻式的重组家庭（Gloria和Jay）、女儿家（Clair,Phil）,儿子的同性恋家庭（Mitchell和Camron）三个家庭为故事背景，内容涉及到情感、家庭教育、人际关系、文化冲突等，情节生动真实，语言诙谐幽默， 展示了美国的原生态生活方式。本文试图以中国家庭情景剧-《家有儿女》和美剧《摩登家庭》为例来探索中美家庭教育观的差异并剖析其原因，以期通过借鉴国外先进的教育方法更好地促进我国的孩子健康快乐地成长，提高孩子的综合素质，同时也更好地促进两国社会文化交流。
Introduction
Over the long history of human development, each civilization derives certain family education concepts with national features. Based on sharp different ideology and cultural tradition, Chinese and American family culture bear different values with distinct features. Home with kids is a situation comedy on Children development in Chinese mainland on the basis of reconstructed family. The grass widower Xia donghai, who has two children named Xiayu,Xiaxue, remarries another grass widow Liumei, who has only one child Liuxing. While modern family is an American situation comedy with there families as background-father Jay and stepmother Gloria， daughter Clair and her husband Phil and son Mitchell and his homosexual boyfriend Camron, covering emotions, family education, interpersonal relationship, and cultural conflicts. The comedy presents us the genuine American lifestyles. In this paper, TV series Home with Kids and Modern Family are cited, to explore the differences of family education concepts between China and America, expecting it can work as a reference for Chinese family education as well as promote the social and cultural exchanges between China and America.
二、中美家庭教育观的差异
1、教育方式的差异 中国长期受儒家思想的影响，父母在家庭中具有绝对的权威，在《家有儿女》中，中国家庭的教育方式表现在：孩子在家庭生活中处于被动地位，父母对孩子的要求听从安排。从一进门父母就开始唠叨，即使孩子关了门去学习，他们还在紧闭的门前喋喋不休。剧中妈妈刘梅就是这样一位颇有点神经质的家长。父母往往以权威姿态出现，与孩子的距离较远，且经常打骂孩子，正如刘星所说，“中国打骂孩子正常，而在美国这属于犯法的。
Differences of Family Education Concepts between China and America
Different Education Ways
Influenced by Confucianism, Chinese parents hold authoritative position in family. Chinese family education concepts are reflected in Home with Kids in the following aspects: children are passive in family and obey almost every thing they parents order. From the moment the parents get home after work, they routinely talk endlessly, even though their children study in their own rooms, they doesn’t stop chattering. Liumei is the representative of such mother. Once her children make mistakes or doing things wrongly, she will scold them seriously and sometimes may impose corporal punishmen. As what liuxing puts it,” it is common in china that parents scold or beat their children, but in America, it is unlawful and parents.”
而美国家庭教育方式讲究“孩子本位”， 父母尊重孩子的人格和人权， 把孩子当做是一个独立的和平等的家庭成员相待，与孩子建立民主平等的关系。在《摩登家庭》中，孙女儿Alex 与其祖母Gloria的交谈中，Gloria将自己的感情经历如实相告，就像朋友之间的倾吐。正如剧中 Luke 对其父亲Phil说“We are friends”，(我们是哥们儿)。当孩子犯错时，家长以平等的态度与孩子进行沟通、交流，对孩子合理的想法和行为给予充分肯定，对其错误的想法和行为会给予批评指正。当Manny想退出准备已经的比赛时，妈妈并没有当即批评并指责他，而是循循诱导，最终成功劝说Manny参加比赛。
While American family education approaches focus on children-active. Parents respect their individuality and human rights, treat them as equal family members and establish democratic relationship with their children. Those values are obviously embodied in Modern Family in the following plots: Alex feels frustrated and readily talked to her grandmother Gloria, who related her own whole love-relationship experiences in order to comfort her just like bosom friends. As Luke says to his father Phil, “we are friends”. When the child commits mistakes, parents will try to communicate with them and listen to them. They will give approval to their right words and deeds but also guide them correct their mistakes by pointing out their wrong behaviors. When Manny wants to drop out form the sword competition, his mother doesn’t criticize him on the spot with pushy words, instead, she persuades him in soft ways and finally Manny participates in the competition.
2 教育内容的差异：
中国家庭教育内容侧重的是语言和逻辑能力的培养，即在家庭教育中以知识为本
位。我国家庭教育中的家长对子女进行的文化知识教育实际上只局限在分数教育层面， 我们可以将其定为 “功利性知识”， 而进行的艺术教育在很大层面上只是作为知识不足的补偿，并未真正起到教育的目的。在《家有儿女》中，一次家长会结束后，刘星的妈妈刘梅迫不及待地询问夏东海关于老师对刘星的看法，东海借口给姥姥拿药回避了这个问题；即便如此，刘梅还是不断追问。我们从中可以看出中国家长对孩子在校表现的重视度。
Differences of education contents
Chinese family education attaches the training of language and logical ability, namely knowledge input first. Generally speaking, what Chinese parents educate their children are limited to study performance, defined as Utilitarian Knowledge. And art education is just compensation for the lack of knowledge, not the education in the real sense. These are also reflected in Home with Kids: After a parents’ meeting held by school, Liumei is eager to know Liuxing’s teachers’ evaluation to Liuxing, and she wants to get answers from Xia donghai, who attend the parents’ meeting. Xia knows that if liu gets to the truth, Liuxing will fall into trouble. So he wisely avoids responding to her. From just this plot, we see clearly how performance matters to parents.
美国家庭教育内容丰富，注重让孩子在体力、认知、语言、社会性、情感上获得和谐发展，可称之为“素质教育”。在促进体力的增强上，重视开展幼儿户外活动、体育锻炼，如在庭院里荡秋千，野外远足等。在《摩登家庭》中，家长经常带孩子骑自行，打球进行户外锻炼，培养肢体运动能力；在出现分歧时，家长可以用自身的经历为孩子提供意见，而不是干涉他们自主选择的权利， Jay的女儿Clair对她十几岁的孩子Alex的学习没有中国家长那么紧张，当Alex拼命迎考争取第一名时，反倒让Phil和Clair紧张了，他们担心孩子的身体出问题，一定要带孩子放松一下。
By contrast, American family education is diversified in contents, balancing their development in physical power, recognition, language, social ability and emotions. It is billed as education for all-around development. American parents focus on outdoor activities and physical exercise, including swing and hikes in nature. In Modern Family, parents often take their children for outdoor exercises, such as bicycling and playing basketball and football in order to train their body movements. When disagreements arise, parents will not interfere in their rights to free choice, instead, they will provide advice to their children with their own experiences. When Alex studies hard and scored number one in his class, his parents Phil and Clair feel uneasy, for they worry about Alex’s health and decide to take him outside for relax. 3教育目的的差异
中国自古以来就非常重视家庭教育，父母都希望将孩子培养成才，大多都望子成龙、望女成凤，因此中国的家庭教育目的倾向于家庭本位。中国文化主要把人理解为类的存在物，重视人的社会性，会不自觉地将孩子的教育与家庭的发展联系起来。而所谓的现代教育更是倡导“不要让孩子输在起跑线上”，为达到这一目标，父母不惜包揽所有家务，送孩子去最好的学校，希望他们的学业成绩能名列前茅，为家长争面子，为家族争光。在《家有儿女》中，夏雪高考这天，刘梅和夏东海都早早地起床了，刘梅是因为习惯，而东海则是失眠睡不着。高考终于结束。夏雪充满自信，一家人都为之高兴。刘梅随后就病倒了，几个月来她积劳成疾。从
这些剧情可以看出一家人对小雪高考的期待，看出了整个家庭对高考的重视。父母的教育目的便是一心培养大学生。
Differences of Education Purposes
Since ancient times, china has placed much importance on family education. Parents hope that their children can be pillars in society. As such, Chinese family education is family-active. In traditional Chinese culture, man is understood as the existence of group and sociality is valued. Therefore, children education will be linked with family development. And the so called modern education advocates that never allow children lose at the beginning. Parents are ready to take all the housework for their children who are sent to the first-class schools. Because they hope their children can rank first in study performance. In Home with Kids these are reflected in the following plot: on the day that Xiaxue takes the national college entrance examination, both Liumei and Xia donghai get up earlier, liu is accustomed to getting up ahead of time, while Xia is insomniac because he is worried for the examination. Xiaxue feels confident after the exams; the whole family is covered by happiness. Unfortunately, Xiaxue fails to enter Tsinghua University. Liu is sick for months of constant work. From this plot it is obvious that the whole family attach much importance to the college entrance examination. Parents hope their children can enter famous university.
美国人讲个性，价值观是以个人为本的个体主义，注重个人利益，崇尚个人发展实现自我，这是美国文化核心。美国家庭教育的目的，是要把孩子培养成具有适应各种环境和独立生存能力的“社会人”.在设定家庭教育的目标时，家长会尊重孩子的意愿。 在《摩登家庭》第一季中，Phil 的二女儿 Alex 自己选择喜欢的大提琴课程，即使上课的时候要依靠自己的能力搬动；小儿子 Luke 天真单纯在 Phil 的眼里同样优秀，并没有强迫他去学习其他的技能, 而对于仅有 15 岁的大女儿Haley 的爱情，家长也没有横加阻挠 ，而是选择让她自己去体验。父亲Jay 虽然对于儿子同性恋的事实刚开始不接受但没有反对, 最终也接纳了儿子的男朋友和他的家庭. 剧中 11 岁的Manny 的一句台词 “我每一秒钟都不想放弃做自己 ”无疑是对美国家庭教育目的最佳诠释。
American values individuality and personal interests, which is the core of American culture. To cultivate their children into a social person who is able to adapt to any environment with independent living abilities serves the purpose of American family education. Parents will respect children’s willingness in setting family education goals. This is embodied in the Modern Family in the following plots: Alex is allowed to choose her favorite violoncello course although she has to carry it herself to the classroom; Phil appreciates Luke’s purity and innocence and doesn’t push him to learn other skills. For the 15-year -old Haley’s love, he doesn’t interfere it and allow her to experience herself. Although at first he disagree Mitchell’s homosexual love, at last he accept Camron and their family. It is Manny’s words that best translate American family education-I don’t want to give up doing myself for even a second.
三、中美家庭教育观差异的原因
（1）历史背景的差异。
美国是一个历史比较短的移民国家，旧有的思想文化保留得很少，能够较快地接受新的思想和文化，因此，他们更多的具有冒险和创新精神。而中国历史文化
悠久，同时所受旧有的约束也较多，缺少冒险精神和创造意识，因此，缺少一种接受新思想的环境。
（2）经济形态的差异。
美国生产力先进，商品经济发达，就业机会多，生存压力小，而且美国是个“能力社会”，劳动力流通自由，跳槽机会多，所以美国人择业观开放。美国父母认为孩子将来只要能在社会上立足生存，职业是不分尊卑的。因此，美国父母的教育目的重在育“人”，更为宏观、宽泛，以不变应万变。而中国经济相对落后，生存压力大，是个“学历社会”，行业流动性差，所以中国人往往把一生的幸福都压在某种职业上，选择面窄。中国父母认为学业成绩好，找到好工作，求得一生安稳，是一个人最好的出路。因此，中国父母的教育目的重在成“才”，“才”就是学业成绩优秀，能考上好学校，能获得高学历。
四、对我国家庭教育的启示
一个民族的传统文化决定了家庭教育的广度与深度，通过以上的对比，我们不难看出中美家庭教育的特点。 我们必须客观的面对中国家庭教育的理念与方式。
首先，我们的家庭教育保留对传统的文化道德理念倡导的同时，必须学会尊重孩子，给予其一定的空间，重视其独立性的培养，培养孩子具有独立处理问题的能力，独立的选择能力，判断能力，审美能力等等；多给予鼓励和肯定，加强与孩子在情感上的沟通与交流。 充分发掘和培养孩子的兴趣爱好。
其次，优化教育内容，注重孩子的各方面综合素质的提高，对孩子进行兴趣量表分析，鼓励孩子选择兴趣，引导孩子为自己的兴趣负责。
最后，在反思中西家庭教育差异的同时也要将这种理性对比分析的态度传承给我们的孩子，在价值观不断趋同的现代社会， 帮助他们坚守自己的道德价值体系非常有必要，取长补短，以期更好地促进我国家庭教育观的发展和两国社会文化交流。
参考文献
[1］ 胡文仲． 跨文化交际学概论 ［M］． 北京: 外语教学与
研究出版社，1999．
［
［4］王雷英．文化视角下的中美家庭教育比较和启示［J］．改革与开放，2011，
（41）．
［5］ 徐言行． 中西方文化比较 ［M］． 北京: 北京大学出版
社，2004．
［6］杨志华．文化价值观视野中的中美家庭教育比较研究［D］．华东师范大学，2007（16）．
［7］郑维佳．由中美家庭教育的比较看中西文化差异［J］．安顺学院学报，2009，