201107010125 Peggie 1 Lee Pengge
Mr. Micah Mitchell
English writing II
10 December 2013
The Differences Between American and Traditional Chinese Weddings
Although weddings are very common both in America and China, there are many differences between the two countries. These differences of American and Chinese weddings mainly exist in the whole process. Roughly speaking, nearly every ceremonial occasion includes preparation and celebration, and so does a wedding. But, different from others, weddings are special because of its wedding night and honeymoon. Above all, the wedding process is divided into three parts, and they are wedding preparation, wedding celebration, and wedding night and honeymoon. Among the three parts of wedding process, the wedding preparation plays a fundamental role. Although there are a large number of similarities between American and Chinese wedding preparation, both American and Chinese people，for example， prefer to choose a really lucky day to hold their weddings. Yet it is true that there are a lot of differences between them which make them special. Basically, these differences exist in the things that are needed in the wedding preparation. Engagement to a wedding is what contract to a trade. So, it is obvious that engagement means a lot to human beings. “In some Jewish-Americans’ eyes, marrying without such an agreement is considered immoral” (Kaplan 4). In American weddings, engagements always include engagement rings and engagement parties. “The engagement rings are
201107010125 Peggie 2 also called promise rings because it represents a formal agreement to the future marriage. It is conventionally worn on the left hand’s ring finger. After marrying, the couple may wear both engagement rings and wedding rings, or if they prefer, only the wedding rings. Some brides have their engagement and wedding rings permanently soldered together after marriage. Some engagements are announced at an engagement party, and they are traditionally hosted by the bride's parents. These parties are given in the family's usual style of entertainment. Traditionally, engagement parties are normal parties in which a surprise announcement of the engagement is made by the father of the bride to his guests. Therefore, it is not a traditional gift-giving occasion since no guests were supposed to be aware of the engagement until after their arrival. Usually presents are given at these engagement parties" (Wikipedia 1). In China, traditional engagements essentially include bridegroom’s parents visiting the parents of the bride and betrothal gifts. Traditionally, it is the parents of the bridegroom that pay a visit to the parents of the bride. If reversed, it is regarded as irrational. The bridegroom is not allowed to accompany their parents to the bride’s house. If the bridegroom’s parents can not visit the bride’s parents, the bridegroom can choose one or two persons he trusts to take the place of his parents. If the bride’s parents can not meet with the bridegroom’s parents, the bride’s elder members of a family will take place. Usually, the elder members are the bride’s brothers or uncles. After meeting, betrothal gifts will be sent to the bride a few days later. Betrothal gifts of traditional Chinese engagement mainly include betrothal cash and betrothal jewelry. Betrothal cash is put in a red envelope. The amount of the cash depends on the bridegroom’s
201107010125 Peggie 3 financial situation, but in round figurers. So, it is easier to understand why people in ancient time support marriages between bride and bridegroom equal in positon and in money (Zonghao 3). The betrothal jewelry mainly contains a pair of gold earings, gold rings, and gold necklace. The bride’s side also needs to seed back betrothal gifts to the bridegroom. “These gifts, generally speaking, include a comb, a ruler, a saving box, a well-content rod, a mirror, a dudou, scissors, and an abacus” (Yang 1). The tomb means the bridegroom will love the bride forever and accompany the bride forever even if they turn old with gray hair. The ruler is recognised as a measurement to standardize new couples’ well-being and happiness, and at the same time it is a blessing to them hoping that they will make a steady progress both in their lives and in their careers. The saving box is bigger than the saving pot. It symbolizes the good financial situation of the bride’s family. It can also be used to collect the bride’s beloved valuable objects. The well-content rod, symbolizing a contented life of the new couple in the future, is used to reveal the bride’s red veil. In old days, nearly all the mirrors are round like a round moon. A round moon symbolizes all-round life, like the mirror. The mirror is used for dressing and making up, so it implies good wishes to the bride hoping she will be as fair as a flower and beautiful as the moon forever. Dudou is an objet used to measure grains, and it symbolizes a well-fed and well-clothed life. The scissors are used to make clothes, and it implies prosperous life. The abacus, used to count the income and outcome of a family, expects the new couple to make rational finance and investment behaviors.
The wedding ceremony as the most significant and unforgettable part of the
201107010125 Peggie 4 whole wedding and there exists a great number of special differences both in American and Chinese weddings. In general, the atmosphere of American weddings is totally different from Chinese weddings. In the sight of Americans, the color white is regarded as a holy color. So, white is the most common color in the ceremony. The white wedding dress worn by the bride, the white lilies in the bride’s hands and the white carpet on the floor all shows it’s commonality. While different from America’s, the atmosphere of Chinese wedding is more lively. Wedding is seen as one of the most joyous events in Chinese culture. The color red is regarded as a happy and lucky color. So, the ornaments that are used to decorate the wedding ceremony are almost red; for instance the red lanterns are hung from the gate, the double-happiness(a kind of handicraft made by hands) on the middle of the gate, the red blessing antithetical couplets on the two sides of the door frame, the red tablecloth on the table, the red candles in the new couple’s bedroom, the red dressings of the bride and bridegroom, the red veil covered on the bride’s head. Secondly, the places where weddings are held between America and China differs from each other. In America weddings are usually held in churches, while in China weddings are held in the Bridegroom’s house. In the ceremony scene, the wedding ceremony participants are also different in the two countries. In America, Depending on the location, religion, and style of the wedding, this group may include only the individual people that are marrying, or it may include one or more brides, grooms (or bridegrooms), persons of honor, brides persons, best persons, groomsmen, flower girls, pages and ring bearers. “Person of Honor”, the title and position held by a bride's chief attendant, is typically her closest friend or sibling.
201107010125 Peggie 5 Best persons, the chief assistant to a bridegroom at a wedding, is typically a sibling or friend of special significance in his life and often holds the wedding rings until their exchange. Brides person, is the female attendants to a bride. Males in this role may be called honor attendants or sometimes bridesmen, but that term has a different traditional meaning. Groomsmen or Ushers are the attendants, usually male, to a bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. Female attendants, such as a sister of the groom, are typically called honor attendants. Pages are young attendants who may carry the bride’s train. In a formal wedding, the ring bearer is a special page who carries the rings down the aisle. The ring bearer is similar page who marches on the wedding aisle to bring the wedding rings. Flower girls, in some traditions, one or more children carry bouquets or drop rose petals in front of the bride in the wedding procession. In China, people think highly of the liveliness of the wedding. In other word, the more lively the ceremony is the more happy people will be. So, the wedding participants may not only include one bride, one bridegroom, bridegroom’s parents, but it may also include the bridegroom’s relatives, bridegroom’s neighborhoods, bridegroom’s close friends, and renowned person or justifiable locate officials. Moreover, the bride’s parents, relatives, and friends do not take part in the ceremony in old days, but in modern times they are expected to show up. In America, it is clergyman that holds the wedding ceremony, but in China it is the renowned person or justifiable local officials. In America, the bride goes to the church together with her parents, and when the wedding is starting her father will put her hand into the bridegroom’s hand after her father and she walk across the carpet from the beginning to the end. But in China,
201107010125 Peggie 6 nearly all these steps are finished by the bridegroom himself. On the wedding day, the bridegroom comes to the the bride’s house and welcomes his bride to his home, followed by his close friends and younger relatives all the way. When they arrive at the bridegroom’s house, usually at around twelve o’clock, the ceremony is declared to formally start. Then the music played by suona will be striking up and simultaneously firecrackers will be launched. While in America the music for weddings is usually called the “wedding march” which is played on instruments such as the piano, violin, drum and so on. In the ceremony of old days, the parents will not show up, so the bridegroom will bring the bride to the ceremony. Between the bride and bridegroom, there is a red silk ribbon with a big flower made by silk in the middle, they should not come with hands together but with the left side of the red silk ribbon in the bridegroom’s hand and the right side in the bride’s hand. It is important that they should use their two hands to hold ribbon. In an American wedding ceremony, the parents of bridegroom are sitting on the chairs of the church until the ceremony is over. But in China, the bridegroom’s parents are seated on the two sides of a table, father on the left and mother on the right, in front of the new couple witnessing one of the greatest moments in their son’s life. Moreover, one special thing is that Chinese weddings devotes particular care to “three bows”. The first bow is to the heaven and earth, the second bow is to their parents, and the third bow is to each other. When the ceremony is over, the bride will pick the silk flower in the middle of the red silk ribbon and throw it to the crowds. While in America what the bride throws to the crowds is the bunch of lilies in her hand. After that, there will a wedding banquet both
201107010125 Peggie 7 in America and China. The wedding banquet in America is always full of different kinds of dancing parties, but in China there will not be dancing parties. Compared with the other two parts of the wedding mentioned in the whole process of a wedding, the last part of a wedding night is a distinctive one. In American weddings, the wedding night is only for the new couples. There is always a honeymoon for brides and bridegrooms. During this period, they can go the places they longing for without being disturbed by other people or even their parents. In China, the wedding night is very lively and interesting. The night always include three activities. First is going to the bridal chamber. Before the bridegroom goes to the bridal chamber, the bride has already been seated on the bridal bed. The quilt on the bridal bed is red, and there are four kinds of nuts under the quilt. The nuts contain Chinese dates, peanuts, Longans and lotus seeds. The four kinds of nuts are called zao sheng gui zi in Chinese hoping the new couple will have their babies as soon as possible. After all the things are almost over it is getting dark and the bridegroom will go back the bridal chamber. He will unveil the red veil on the bride’s head using the well-content rod, and the beautiful countenance of the bride will catch his eyes. Next, they will drink the “cross-cupped wine”. About several minutes later, the neighbors of the bridegroom’s will come to the bridal chamber and tease the new couple. The neighbors play tricks on them. For example, the neighbors use a red string to tie the apple stem, and then hang it between the bride and bridegroom, letting them bite the apple. While they are biting the neighbor who holds the apple will pull the apple up and down deliberately and the room will be filled with bright laughters. So, it is much
201107010125 Peggie 8 difficult for the new couple to have a taste of the apple. In particular, the neighbors do not intend to make the new couple get angry but strengthen the cheerful and lively atmosphere. When all the neighbors leave their room, the new couple will enjoy their night. They cherish their first night very much, because three days later the bride’s father will take the bride from the bridegroom’s home.
We will experience a great number of unforgettable moments in our life, and it is definitely true that wedding times are one of them. A wedding is the ceremony where people are united in marriage. It is full of happiness and deep love in each wedding, and weddings make girls become the most unique and most beautiful person in the world on that day. However, wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes, and all these differences are intensely focusing on the differences of the whole process. By studying the differences of American and Chinese traditional weddings, it helps to show the exact features of the two kinds of weddings. The American wedding values the good feelings which give us the impression of romanticism and holiness, while the Chinese value the ceremony which seems to be full of activities and owns deeper cultural connotations. As time goes by, the weddings of the two countries change a lot and share more similarities. They learn from each other and many weddings have mixed characters of the two countries. It is great that we can combine American wedding and Chinese wedding to be a romantic, traditional, and meaningful one. Anyhow, it will be a lovely wedding as long as happiness and love exist.
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Work Cited
1. Bao, Zonghao. Guangxi:
Guangxi Normal University Press, 2006
2. Kaplan, Rabbi Aryeh. New York:
Jerusalem, 1983
3. 4. 5. Yang, Le. “The Etiquettes About Chinese Traditional Wedding.” Ed.Yang Le.