雅思满分范文及点评:流程图《砖块的制作》

时间:2024.4.20

雅思满分范文及点评:流程图《砖块的制作》

  WRITING TASK 1

  You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

  The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  Write at least 150 words.

\Brick manufacturing

* Clay: type of sticky earth that is used for making bricks, pots, etc.

  【满分范文】

  The process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry can be outlined in seven consecutive steps. First the raw material, clay, which was just below the surface of soil in certain clay-rich areas has to be dug up by a digger.

  Then the lumps of clay are placed on a metal grid in order to break up the big chunks of clay into much smaller areas, which fall through the metal grid onto a roller, whose motion further segregates the bits of clay. Sand and water are added to make a homogenous mixture, which is then either formed in moulds or cut into brick-shaped pieces by means of a wire cutter.

  Those fresh bricks are then kept in a drying oven for at least 24 and a maximum of 48 hours, several dozens if not hundreds of bricks at a time. The dried bricks are then transferred to a so-called kiln, another type of high temperature oven. First they are kept at a moderate temperature of 200 ℃ -1300 ℃ . This process is followed by cooling down the finished bricks for 48 to 72 hours in a cooling chamber.

  Once the bricks have cooled down and have become hard, they get packaged and delivered to their final destination, be it a building site or storage.

  (215 words)

  【考官评语】

  Band 9

  This response fully satisfies the requirements of the task. All key features of each stage of the process are appropriately and accurately presented. An excellent overview is given at the beginning of the response and this skilfully incorporates part of the rubric, changing the grammatical function, to give a brief summary of the whole process. The message is very easy to read, with seamless cohesion that attracts no attention. Paragraphing, linking and referencing are all skilfully managed. The language used is very fluent and sophisticated. A wide range of vocabulary and structures are used with full flexibility and accuracy. Only rare minor ‘slips’ can be found and these do not detract from the high rating.


第二篇:雅思流程图的写作(含范文深度点评)


 The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced.

           Summarise the informaiton by selecting and reporting the main features.

 

高分范文及深度点评

The diagram shows the stages in the process of making chocolate.【所有的小作文第一句话都要用一般现在时。流程图必备三个词:process:整个过程, stage:阶段,step:步骤】

Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, which is grown in parts of South America, Africa and Indonesia.【开头不能冲上来就直接介绍cacao tree,而是通过主题词chocolate引出,否则显得太唐突】【流程图特点之一介 绍过程要使用一般现在时流 程图特点之二大量使用定语从句,将有关联的两句话连接。流程图特点之三大量使用被动语态】The tree produces large red pods which contain white cocoa beans.  Firstly,【流程图特点之四使用一些表示顺序的连接词】when the pods are ripe, they are harvested, the beans are removed and they are fermented for several days in large wooden boxes.【三个句子的并列:“句子A,句子B and 句子C”。】During the fermenting process, the beans turn brown.【流程图特点之五要 适当地添加个别图中没有交代但能从图片中直接读出来的的一些内容,否则可能达不到字数要求。但是一定要把握尺度,千万不要加上自己的主观观点,否则会扣 分】


Next, the brown beans are spread in the sun to dry. They are then put in large sacks and transported by train or lorry. After this, the beans are taken to a chocolate factory where they are roasted in an oven at temperatures of between 250 and 350 degree Celsius.

After being roasted, the beans are crushed and the outer shell is removed. This part is not needed for making chocolate. Finally, the inner part of the bean is pressed and liquid chocolate is produced.

流程图特点之六:一般不需要写总结】

最后再总结一下流程图的特点:


特点一:现 在时

特点二:定语从句

特点三:被动语态

特点四:顺序词

特点五:适当添加

特点六:无总结

雅思流程图范文《砖块的制作》(含9分范文 及考官点评)

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

 

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.



Brick manufacturing

  



* Clay: type of sticky earth that is used for making bricks, pots, etc.

【满分范文】

The process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry can be outlined in seven consecutive steps. First the raw material, clay, which was just below the surface of soil in certain clay-rich areas has to be dug up by a digger.

Then the lumps of clay are placed on a metal grid in order to break up the big chunks of clay into much smaller areas, which fall through the metal grid onto a roller, whose motion further segregates the bits of clay. Sand and water are added to make a homogenous mixture, which is then either formed in moulds or cut into brick-shaped pieces by means of a wire cutter.

Those fresh bricks are then kept in a drying oven for at least 24 and a maximum of 48 hours, several dozens if not hundreds of bricks at a time. The dried bricks are then transferred to a so-called kiln, another type of high temperature oven. First they are kept at a moderate temperature of 200 ℃ -1300 ℃ . This process is followed by cooling down the finished bricks for 48 to 72 hours in a cooling chamber.

Once the bricks have cooled down and have become hard, they get packaged and delivered to their final destination, be it a building site or storage.

(215 words)

【考官评语】

Band 9

This response fully satisfies the requirements of the task. All key features of each stage of the process are appropriately and accurately presented. An excellent overview is given at the beginning of the response and this skilfully incorporates part of the rubric, changing the grammatical function, to give a brief summary of the whole process. The message is very easy to read, with seamless cohesion that attracts no attention. Paragraphing, linking and referencing are all skilfully managed. The language used is very fluent and sophisticated. A wide range of vocabulary and structures are used with full flexibility and accuracy. Only rare minor ‘slips’ can be found and these do not detract from the high rating.

雅思写作剑桥范文解析 流程图

下面是剑桥6的test 3 考到的流程图,考官给的范文。范文中有两步考官直接就写成一步,本来是3-8天和16天两个时间段,缩成了3个星期,大家写的时候可以分别写,不用写这么 精练。

考官范文:

The first diagram shows that there are four main stages in the life of the silkworm. 第一个图显示了,在蚕的生命过程中主要有四步。First of all, eggs are produced by the moth and it takes ten days for each egg to become a silkworm larva that feeds on mulberry leaves. 首先,蛾子产出卵,每个卵用10天的时间变成蚕的幼虫, 他们以桑叶为食。This stage lasts for up to six weeks until the larva produces a cocoon of silk thread around itself. 这个阶段持续最多到六个星期,直到幼虫周围生产出茧(silk thread). After a period of about three weeks, the adult moths eventually emerge from these cocoons and the life cycle begins again. 经过三个星期的一段时间之后,成年的蛾子最终从茧里面出来,这个生命的循环就再一次开始了。

The cocoons are the raw material used for the production of silk cloth. 茧是生产丝绸的原材料。Once selected, they are boiled in water and the thread can be separated in the unwinding stage. 一旦被挑选出来,他们在水里煮沸,丝可以在打开的阶段中被分离出来。Each thread is between 300 and 900 metres long, which means they can be twisted together, dyed and then used to produce cloth in the weaving stage. 每条丝是300到900米长,这就意味着,他们能够被缠绕在一起,染色,然后在织布阶段被用于生产布品。

Overall, the diagrams show that the cocoon stage of the silk worm can be used to produce silk cloth through a very simple process.

范文总结:

1.  163个字。

2.  使用了很多合适的关联词,见阴影部分。

3.  主要是简单的并列句。

4.  句型,搭配了一些被动语态。

5.  动词使用丰富:produce, feed on, last, emerge, select, boil, separate, unwind, twist (多数原词带入)

6.  名词比较专业:life cycle, raw material.

表述时间:

in 10 days, during the period of 10 days, The process lasts for up to 10 days. after 10 days, 10 days passed utill something happened.

表示然后:then, next, in the next state, following that, after that, the next step in the stage is ....

表示过程:process, procedure, formation, development

表示步骤:step, stage, phase

方法:

l  找到流程图的过程,起点,终点。

l  找到图上标出的已知动作,如果出现生词,尽量猜测。无词,用自己语言。

l  按照步骤,分段描述,千万不能省略任何一步。

l  切记!加入流畅合理的表示顺序的关联词。

l  句型以主动为主,搭配被动,以及主语从句(例如:It can be seen from the graph that…)

l  时态要使用一般现在时

补充的表达方式

 流程图常用词汇:

时间阶段:   after a period of ..months/days/minutes, during…

顺序连词:   first, first of all, in the first stage, initially, to begin with

                        Second, then, next, also

                        After that, at the same time, in the meantime, meanwhile

                        Prior to, until

the first stage involves … / in the second stage / in the third stage /

in the last stage//The next step in the stage is that….

目的连词:   in order to / in order that; so as to / so that

常见动词:  

Produce生产, lay放置, put, accumulate积 累 gather / collect / 收集obtain获 得, Heat up加热expand膨胀bend弯 曲turn off关闭cool down冷却disconnect断 开连接spin旋转,, strike打 击,Compress压缩,, release释放, move, flow流 动, accelerate加速, form形成, Press按 压, adjust调整, absorb吸收, , process加 工, Rotate旋转, chop, grind(),(), Light点燃, burn燃烧, ignite点燃, Reflect反光,turn转,starts开始stops结束records录 音turns up调高turns down调低,winds缠 绕unwinds解开revolves旋转(spin, rotate)fold折迭unfold打 开reverse颠倒,倒转Adapt适应adjust调整alter改变cure治愈disappear消 失dissolve溶化,解散exchange交换expand扩张,膨胀fade退色increase增长promote促进,升职reduce减少renew使更新,使 恢复renovate革新,更新,修 复replace取代swell肿胀switch改 变transform.:完全改变vary改变swap:交 换shrink收缩, melt溶解heal治 愈,cure治愈form/come into being/take shape形成produce生产/gain /get/ acquire获取evaporate 蒸发/volatilize挥发draw提取/ recycle回收/ extract/ absorb吸收/collect/收集meet相遇/ be made up of/由。。。组成be made of由。。。制成/ be made from。。。制成/feed  on以。。。为食/depend on /rely on依赖/release/send out释放/sort分类/separate分开conveyed运送cut into切成poured into倒入poured into倒入a heated加热melted into 融化成flows into流入

雅思图表作文官方6分范文

在雅思考生中,普遍存在一种观点,认为小作文只占 1/3 的比重,而大作文占了 2/3 ,所以在复习的时候应该以大作文为重,考试的时候也应该先写大作文,而后再写小作文。但是在对考生实际考分的观察中我们发现,往往小作文写得好的同学,作 文的总分相对较高。之前有个基础班的女生,把时间都花在了小作文上,大作文只写了个开头,但作文的总分居然拿到了 5 分。

这是什么原因呢?因为大作文在短时间内提高有限,而小作文却因套路很多,句式有限,在短时间内只要认真学习,就不难提高。所以要特别提醒广大考生,尤其是 时间非常仓促的考生,千万不要忽视了小作文的学习!

以下提供的是一份 6 分的曲线图作文范文,后附考官的评语。同学们对照自己的文章,看下是否达到了 6 分的标准?也欢迎大家挑战这位6分考生,提供自己的7分、8分甚至是9分的作文。你可以将你的大作直接贴上来,我将提供参考的打分。



WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.

 





【考生样文】

The graph shows percentages of cinema attendance at least once a year in Australia between 1990 to 20## with projections for the future. The graph is described by 4 groups of different ages which are 14 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 49 and over 50 year olds.

The youngest age group people have been going to cinema more than any other age groups and the percentage has been keeping very high at approximately 90% since 1990. It is predicted to keep the high and to increase more from 2006.

The middle age groups people have enjoyed going cinema between 60% to 80%. The percentage of age 25 to 34 group has been higher than the one of age 35 to 49 group but from 20## the percentage of 25 to 34 year olds people will decrease while the one of 35 to 49 year olds people will increase and get higher than the other one.

The oldest people seem to go cinema less than the other groups but the percentage of the attendance has slightly going up by 15% from 40% to 55% between 1990 to 20## and it will keep increasing to 60% by 2010.

Overall, it seems the younger age people, the more going to cinema.

(210 words)



【考官评语】

Band 6

This response addresses the requirements of the task and selects relevant material to describe. Key features and an overview are presented, although clearer highlighting, more support and a more comprehensive overview would be needed to reach a higher band. Information is well-organised and there is a clear overall progression in the response. There is some effective use of cohesive devices, but only limited use of reference and substitution. The range of vocabulary is not wide, but it is adequate for the task. Control of word form and spelling is consistently good, although there are some clumsy noun phrases that indicate limited flexibility. The candidate attempts to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, but control is variable and grammatical errors or omissions are quite intrusive at times. Figures are poorly integrated into sentences and indicate evident limitations.

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