20xx年12月大学英语四级作文试题评析（二）

上海理工大学外语学院 贾从永

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay about a campus activity that has benefited you most. You should state the reasons and write at least 120 but no more than180 words.

这道作文题目看似不难，但笔者在阅卷中却发现有将近一半的考生写偏题或跑题。先让我们一起仔细审审题：a campus activity that has benefited you most.

首先，冠词a表明题目要求考生写“一项”校园活动，而笔者在阅卷中却发现有有的考生写了好几项活动。其次，campus限定了范围，就是要写“校园”活动，考生如果写由学校或班级组织的校外活动，如爬山、野营、春游、参观等也可以，但不少考生写的却是和爸爸一起去爬山、和朋友一起去旅游、在校外兼职打工等，这就跑题了。再次，题目中的activity指的应是校园里的某项具体的活动，比如一次辩论赛、演讲比赛、慈善募捐、运动会、联欢会等，但有相当多的考生却将之理解为个人的hobby，写的是阅读、慢跑、玩电子游戏等，还有考生没有将活动具体化，泛泛地分析campus activity，这就偏题了。又次，benefit表明要写让自己受益的活动，但不少考生却大谈校园活动的利和弊。最后，you要求考生在写作时要联系自己，但不少考生却分析了一番校园活动对当代大学生的好处。

本文在内容上要有述有议，在结构上宜写成三个段落。第一段引出本文所讨论话题，即指出让自己受益的那项校园活动。第二段叙述一下该活动，虽然题目中没有此项要求，但一旦介绍清楚了该项活动，最后再指出它给自己带来的益处就会顺理成章。最后一段指出该校园活动使自己在哪些方面受益（即state the reasons）。下面请看范文：

I have always been an active participant in extracurricular activities on campus. As far as I can remember the activity that has benefited me most is the English speech contest I took part in last semester.

First, I had to go to the library and consult a great number of books to write the first draft of the speech. Then I polished it with the help of my teacher. After that I

practiced the speech until I could deliver it fluently and confidently. I also learned to use body language and maintain eye contact with the audience. All the efforts paid off as I finished second in the competition.

The event improved my pronunciation, increased my interest in English and, most important of all, bolstered my confidence. I have learned from the experience that I can make it as long as I try my best. (145 words)

语言亮点：

1. on campus，在校园里，在校外是off campus。

2. As far as I can remember，就我所能记得的。

3. Then I polished it with the help of my teacher.然后我在老师的帮助下修改初稿。polish vt.修改，润色。

4. maintain eye contact with the audience，和听众保持眼神交流。

5. All the efforts paid off as I finished second in the competition. 所有的努力都有了回报，因为我在这次比赛中获得第二名。pay off，得到回报。finish vi获得（名次），后面一般跟second, third, fourth等序数词。

6. bolstered my confidence，增强了我的自信心。

7. I have learned from the experience that I can make it as long as I try my best. 我从这次经历中认识到，只要我全力以赴，我就会成功。make it，成功。

第二篇：20xx年12月大学英语六级考试作文及作文点评(二)

20xx年x月大学英语六级考试作文及

作文点评（二） 一

Should Parents Send Their Kids to Art Classes?

There is no denying the fact that it has become a prevailing trend for parents to send the children to art training classes of all kinds. To this phenomenon people’s attitudes differ sharply.

Some hold the positive view. They claim that attending art classes can help nurture children’s interest and tap their potentials in such art as music, painting and dancing. This, they believe, will contribute to a child’s all-sided

development. Besides, they argue that mastering skills of one art or two can add to a child’s edge of competition in the modern world.

Others, however, hold the opposite view. They point out that not all children are interested or talented in art, or a child may not be fond of all forms of art. Forcing them to go to art classes may only restrict their freedom and affect their healthy growth.

Personally, I believe that both sides have something right, so we should not go to extremes. On the one hand, it must be

admitted that going to art classes is and effective means to find out and give full play to children’s talent in art and it is conducive to their sound development. On the other hand, it is not advisable for parents to deprive their children of the right to choose to learn what they truly like. Remember, the fittest is the best.

二 1. 有人说名字或名称很重要

2. 也有人觉得名字或名称无关紧要

3. 我认为?

On the Importance of a Name

There is no denying the fact that it is a controversial topic whether names are important or not. Some hold the positive view. They claim that a good name, or a name that can be easily remembered, can bring one a lot more opportunities than others. Some Chinese may also believe that a name designed according to the traditional theory of five elements can bring good luck. Others, however, hold the opposite view. They argue that a name is nothing but a code to distinguish one from another.

A person “good” name may not be as successful as the name indicates. In the same way, a person who has a common or casually given name can also achieve tremendous success.

Personally, I believe that both sides have something right, so we should not go to extremes. On the one hand, we have to admit that a well designed name can help a person to some extent. On the other hand, we should not exaggerate the effect of a name on a person’s fate. Anyway, a person’s success mainly depends on his hard work and desirable personalities.

三 怎样改善学生的心理健康

1. 学生心理健康的重要性

2. 学校应该怎样做

3. 学生自己应该怎样做

How to improve psychological health?

There is no denying the fact that mental health is of great importance to college students. Nowadays, many students in college suffer from mental illness, which severely affects their life and study. Taking a look around, we can find examples too numerous to list. Reports are often heard that some students committed suicide or murdered their roommates. Typical examples include the case of Ma Jiajue and that of a girl stabbing her schoolmates.

In view of the seriousness of the situation, effective measures must be taken before things get worse. On the one hand, due attention has to be paid by colleges to students' mental health. First, lectures on psychological health should be frequently given to students to prevent problems from happening. Secondly, psychological clinics should be set up to provide troubled students with timely help.

As to students, we should keep the channel of communication open among ourselves and between us and our teachers and parents. Besides, in case of mental illness, we should not hesitate to go to psychological counselors for help. Only with these measures taken can we expect sound growth of college students.

四

Will E-books Replace Traditional Books?

1. 随着信息技术的发展，电子图书越来越多

2. 有人认为电子图书会取代传统图书，理由是??

3. 我的看法

With the rapid development of information technology , e-books become common things in our daily life .Some people say that e-books will replace traditional books sooner or

later ,but some others do not agree with them ,they think that traditional books will exsit for a long time .

A large percentage of men believe that e-books will take the place of traditional books ,and we can find lots of reasons for their point of view.In the first place e-books are more convenient for you to read and carry ,because people can read e-books through mobile phones, Internet ,mp4 and so on .What is more,the e-books will cost you much less money than the traditionally published books ,you can save considerable amount of money ,and with the money saved ,you can do more things .In the third place ,e-books are following the trend of information technology ,so more and more teenagers and university students prefer to read e-books .

As far as I am concerned ,I would choose traditional books to read rather than e-books .My attitude towards this issue is that traditional books is a better choice for the reader, because you can really get down to enjoying and contemplating when you are reading a traditional book .

五

1.如今数字化产品得到越来越广泛的使用，例如?

2.数字化产品的使用对人们工作、学习和生活产生的影响

There is no denying the fact that[U1] we have entered a digital age, with digital products used increasingly widely in people’s life, work and study[U2]. Taking a look around, we can find examples too numerous to list.[U3] The most striking

ones might be digital cameras, digital videos [U4]and digital television.

It goes without saying that these products have benefited us substantially. With digital cameras,[U5] we can take almost as many photos as we like, as long as we have access to a computer to store them.[U6] Besides, we can delete those pictures we dislike without worrying about waste of film[U7]. Again, with digital television, we can enjoy more channels and scenes of higher quality than provided by conventional ones[U8].

However, just as every coin has two sides, these digital products may also exert a negative influence on us.[U9] For instance,[U10] we miss the happiness of going through pictures taken by traditional cameras. Usually, after taking photos with digital cameras, we store them up and never have a look again. To sum up, I believe that digital products have more advantages than disadvantages. And we have every reason to expect that our life will become more colorful and convenient with the use of these products.