A repot of how to win friends & influence
people
By Dale Carnegie
As the Leo Tolstoy said: All happy families are happy alive, all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way. How could you do if your parents are going to divorce? Part Six of this book gives us six rules as following. First, don't, don't nag. Something unhappy happened because of some details. Usually, a wife of an unhappy life was always complaining, always criticizing her husband, nothing about him was ever right. In his way, certainly, the husband regarded his unfortune marriage, and avoid her presence as much as possible. For example, Leo Tolstoy's life was a tragedy, and the cause of his tragedy was his marriage. His wife loved luxury, but he despised it. So he said the famous sentence which I have quoted in the first paragraph. In my opinion, a couple are gloriously happy when they were first married, but after a few years or several decades, one of them could hardly bear the sight of the other. My parents are the typical one. There are continous quarreling on thry begin to speak to each other. I feel upset and tired.
Second, don't try to make your partner over. As Leland Foster Wood in his book, Growing Together in the Family, has observed:" Success in
marriage is much more than a matter of finding the right person; it is also a matter of being the right person." I can not agree it any more. In a marriage, you should try to your soulmate be himself and give them more freedom to him. Furthermore, when he was in low mood, you also need to be his spirital support.
Third, don't criticize. As an integrity, every member of the family are willing to take care of the others. For instance, no matter how delicious and awful the meal is, you should not criticize directly.
Fourth, give honest appreciation. Most men when seeking wives are not not looking for executives but for someone with allure and willingness to flatter their vanity and make them feel superior. Hence, the woman office manager may be invited to luncheon, once. Men should express their appreciation of a woman's effort to look well and dress becomingly. Because almost every woman are interested in clothes. Besides, after your wife finishing cooking, please let her know that you appreciate the fact that you are grateful and happy. Exactly, if a woman is to find happiness at all in her husband. She is to find it in his appreciation, and devotion. If that appreciation and devotion is actual, there is the answer to his happiness also.
Fifth, pay little attention. Too many men underestimate the value of these small, everyday attentions. I believe that the majority of our mothers have not received any flower from our fathers since many years ago. In the
contrast, if our fathers do this ,our mothers are bound to feel happier and so will be our family. Only after paying little attention can a family become more warm.
Sixth, be courteous. Do you find that each of us is more polite to strangers than we are to our own relatives. It is a common phenomenon. Every man knows that he can kiss his wife's eyes until she will be blind. Every woman never knows whether to be mad at his husband with him, because he would rather fight with her and pay for it in having to eat bad meals, and have his money wasted, and buy what she loves, than to take the trouble to flatter her a litter and treat her the way she is begging to be treated.
In a conclution, I think every member of the family with a warmhearted, understanding and such merits can build a happy family together.
第二篇：《人性的弱点》读书报告
读 书 报 告
——《人性的弱点》读后感
最近读了美国“成人教育之父”戴尔·卡耐基所著的《人性的弱点》一书，让我受益匪浅。其实，选择读这本书的初衷是我被它的名字所吸引。“人性”与“弱点”正式被我们所忽视，需要剖析的。同时也是因为该书能够帮助广大读者解决其所面临最大问题：即如何在日常生活、商务活动与社会交往中与人打交道，并有效地影响他人；得到他人的认同与赞赏；如何击败人类的生存之敌——忧虑等等，以便创造一种幸福美好的人生；以及如何更好的在生活中变得快乐。
《人性的弱点》集中体现了卡耐基思想与事业的精髓，全书讲述了许多个与我们生活息息相关的栩栩如生的故事，从中折射出通俗易懂的道理，以人性本质的视角，剖析潜藏在人身上的六十大弱点。卡耐基在书中并未使用深奥的哲理，描述的全是日常小事，所以我就可以从这些小事中体验卡耐基的艺术灵魂。甚至是，他对这些小事的感悟，是我从未想到过的，但是看过他的解剖之后，我却觉得事实正是如此，让我恍然大悟。我相信，不只是我，每一个读者都会受到心灵的震撼，这更让我感觉自己是多么渺小。可以说，这个世界离开谁都会正常运转，但有了卡耐基情况就不一样了，他将转得更好。事实胜于雄辩，卡耐基以他特有的人格魅力，通过讲述普通人不断努力取得成功的故事，用文字和演讲的力量，唤醒着我们的斗志，同时还激励着我们认清自我，不断实现人生的价值。
读完这本书使我印象最深的是“真诚地欣赏与赞美他人”这句话。《人性的弱点》一书用大量笔墨讲述我们在生活、工作中要学会真诚的赞赏他人这个道理，卡耐基说：“天底下只有一种方法可以促使他人去做任何事情——给他想要的东西。”“在你每天的生活之旅中，别忘了为人间留下一点赞美的温馨，这友谊小火花会燃烧友谊的火焰。”
生活中，我们经常会碰到和朋友或者同事意见不合的时候，这时光靠争辩并不能解决问题，但这恰恰是大多数人经常采取的办法。当我们听到他人对自己的优点加以称赞之后，再去接受批评，自然会觉得好受一些。所以，如果想说服他人，应当首先从真诚地欣赏和称赞对方开始，如果自己没有首先做到尊重他人，
那么我们如何要求别人尊重我们呢？辩论、激烈的谈话只会火上浇油，让局势更加糟糕。由此看来，在真诚的赞美之后，再间接而委婉地提醒对方的错误，要比直接说出来温和的多。如果对方得到了尊重，并且得到了能力的认可，那么就很容易被引导了。
卡耐基认为，人往往就是这样，当他做错事的时候就开始怨天尤人，而不从自己身上找原因。也许这句话我们都很熟悉，甚至经常拿它教育别人。这一点，在我们今后的工作生活中一定要加以重视。卡耐基说到，当你用一个手指指着别人说这句话的时候，也许另外的手指正指着你自己！人的这一劣根性被卡耐基一语道破。人不是生来就有判断力的，一切都是经验来的。如果批评的人开始时谦逊地承认，他自己也不是无可指责的，然后再对被批评者说他烦的错误，似乎就不是十分困难了。
卡耐基在《人性的弱点》一书中写道，要清醒地认识到自己的弱点，当我们在工作、生活中针对这些弱点下手，就会取得事半功倍的效果，直至顺利取得成功。读这本书，让我领悟到：人应当认真对待弱点，不论是自己的，还是他人的。比如说，你掌握了他人的弱点，你就清楚与他人交往时应注意什么，进而达到交往中的和谐状态；了解自己的弱点，实践中可以使自己扬长避短，从而创建美好的生活。比如我自己，在了解了同伴的弱点之后，我会适时的在聊天或者工作中避开对方的弱点，而不会抓住对方的小辫子不放，更不能把对方的弱点当成是自己攻击对方，嘲笑对方的武器。
我要努力改变我以前不良的思想和言论，以更加平和的态度对待生活、工作。卡耐基在书中说：“不要忘记，快乐并非取决于你是什么人，或你拥有什么，它完全来自于你的思想。”我相信，快乐其实很简单，不在于你拥有多少金钱、多高的地位或名利。
今后，我也要学会喜欢自己，因为卡耐基说要想活的健康、成熟，喜欢自己是必要条件之一。我要每天给自己独处的时间，从而更清楚地认识自己。我们的生活充满了辛劳、疲惫和心痛，所以自我接受，自我调整非常重要。为了能使我们喜欢自己，我们必须培养面对自身缺点时的耐心，没有人能达到100%的成功
率，期待完美是愚蠢至极的表现，不能苛责自己。可以认真但不能够较真。有时候，要练习自我放松，培养健康、成熟的个性，这样才能提高人际交往的能力。
随着年龄的增长，我们经历的事情也越来越多。我们通常都很勇敢地去面对生活里那些大的危机，却被一些小事搞的垂头丧气。通过读《人性的弱点》一书，我豁然开朗，人活在世上只有短短数十载，不应该把宝贵的时间浪费在一瞬间就会遗忘的小事上。要想克服因为小事引起的困扰，只要把自己的重心转移一下就可以了，要找到让自己开心一点的想法。让我们直接去做那些值得做的事情，去做必须做的事情，去经历真正的感情，因为生命如此短暂，不该再在那些无谓的小事上浪费时间。
《人性的弱点》一书让我懂得如何与别人相处，让我学会如何培养成熟的个性，让我明白了如何更好的生活，让我深刻地认识到了生命的意义。这本书就如同一面镜子，照亮自己的人生路，让我们最终不断完善自己、驾驭自己，成为一个生活中的强者。