雅思大作文:考官眼中的9分范文

时间:2024.3.31

雅思大作文:考官眼中的9分范文

  我惊喜的发现我教了十年雅思,居然碰到了难得一见的9分文章,我给了几位前任的IELTS Examiner打了分数,都给出了9分。我们来欣赏一下:

  Globalization is a declaration of war upon all other cultures. And in culture wars, there is no exemption of civilians, there are no innocent bystanders. Why should it be expected that ancient and rooted civilizations are going to accept this peripheralisation without a struggle? The answer to that is that globalization carries an implicit promise that it will relieve poverty and offer security—perhaps the most ancient of human dreams. Because of the power of global capitalism to create wealth, it is assumed that this priority must sweep aside all other human preoccupations, including all existing institutions, interpretations and searches for meaning in the world.

  It is disingenuous to assume that economy, society and culture operate in separate spheres. This suggests that, one, exposed to the globalizing imperative, no aspect of social life, customary practice, traditional behaviour will remain the same.

  There have been, broadly, two principal responses in the world, which we may call the fatalistic and the resistant. It is significant that among the most fatalistic have been the leaders of G-7, Ex-President Clinton said globalization is a fact not a policy choice Tony Blair said it is inevitable and irreversible. It may be considered paradoxical that the leaders of the most dynamic and expanding economies in the world offer such a passive, unchallenging view of what are, after all, human-made arrangements. These are among the richest and most proactive regimes, which can wage endless war on the great abstraction, that is terror, topple regimes and lay down one WTO law for the poor and another for themselves. Is their helplessness in the presence of these mighty economic and cultural powers?

  There are two aspects to resistance. One is the reassertion of local identities—even if local actually means spread over very large parts of the world. The reclaiming of the local is often focused in the field of culture—music, songs and dance. This suggests an attempt to guarantee it from the effects of economic integration; a kind of cordon sanitaria set up around a dwindling culture. Some people believe it is possible to get the best of both world—they accept the economic advantages of globalization and seek to maintain something of great value—language, tradition and custom. This is the relatively response. The other has become only too familiar: the violent reaction, the hatred of both economic and cultural globalization which may not merely perceive, but feel in the very core of their cognition, as an inseparable violation of identity. The resentment of many Muslims toward the U.S and Israel, the defensive posturing of Vindu fundamentalism, opposed both to Islam and Christianity, are the most vivid dramatizations of this.     


第二篇:雅思(ielts)写作:雅思大作文9分范文分析


   中国人写的雅思作文有结构但语言不够地道;native speaker写的文章够地道,但不够雅思!因此,市面上总找不到“完美”的雅思例文。

    此次,我特别邀请我的美国朋友(同样研究和教授雅思)“按照我的要求”写了一些文章,这里逐一贴出来,让大家分享一下,呵呵。。。

     Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

     Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the ‘real world’ when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties . The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident, but in fact require closer examination. ( 58words )

    点评: 1+ 1 ’ 模式,最后 1 句为主题句。此段的主题句稍微有点特殊,它的确否定了前面所提到的观点,从而表达出了自己的观点,此外还引出了下文。特别是最后半句: but in fact require closer examination ,感觉是在抛砖引玉。

     The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching moneywhen times get tough in adulthood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families, thoseborn with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completely ignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in their youth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood. They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is , of course, education. (100words)

    点评: 1 ’ +3 模式,第 1 句是主题句。请注意,从此段的内容来看,这是个让步段(即分析自己并不赞成的观点)。虽然 4 段论的作文的主体段是两面讨论,但是本人还是喜欢这样的写作,即主体段的观点还是有侧重的,把让步段放在前面,最后 1 句话引出下一段,这样过度地很自然,而且自己的观点也比较明确!

     The basis of this argument is , of course, knowing the value of money, and the idea that children of the poor know this, and those of the wealthy do not . Who though, is in a better position to teach their children the value of money; someone skilled in earning and keeping it, the wealthy parent, or someone who can not seem to acquire it, the poor parent? Both wealthy and poor children are equally likely to acquire an education in money, whether it is formal, or in the school of hard knocks. Conversely, both children are as likely to ignore this education. (101words)

    点评:这段的内容感觉写得不够直接,还是在分析对方观点的漏洞!请注意,前面让步段已经这么写过了,那么这一段最好是正面地论证自己的观点,这样从内容上来说更 convincing 一点!此外,需要说明的是,大家发现作者的内容还是有一定深度,但是这是要有一定的英语功底才行的!如果英语功底不行的话,建议内容不要写太深,因为那样容易造成考官看不懂你在说什么!

     A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, without wealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

    点评:最后一段有点像是提出解决这个问题的办法,即 education. 它没有像传统的结尾段那样简单的重申自己的观点。

    总结之总结:

    全文的观点有待揣摩,作者很明显是不赞成题目的说法,即 Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. 但是作者自己是更偏向穷人家的孩子呢,还是富人家的孩子呢?!根据文章来看,作者是中立,他所看重的是他们所接受的教育。In other words,整篇文章又是一次中立的写法。在雅思考试中,这种写法经常使用,还是非常实用的,大家可以学习一下。此外,文章中有很多好词好句,特别是长句,值得模仿一下。

    此文9分。

“成千上万人疯狂下载。。。。。。

更多价值连城的绝密英语学习资料,

洛基内部秘密英语,技巧,策略

请在 网上 申请报名”

更多相关推荐:
雅思作文考官范文分步详解

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思作文考官范文分步详解雅思剑桥系列的几本书在广大雅思考生的心中地位自然不言自明尤其近来剑桥雅思系列的第10本又为大家的雅思备考指明方向她的重要性尤其能体现在写作单项上因为书中每套真题试...

雅思写作满分考官范文

雅思写作满分考官范文本文由新航道雅思整理发布今天为大家准备了关于知名运动员收入高低的雅思写作满分考官范文对于在雅思写作中遇到瓶颈的同学们参考想要在写作上更上一层楼需要平时在练习中要对文章机构句式运用词汇选择论点...

雅思写作Task1曲线图考官范文(3)

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task1曲线图考官范文3本文为大家收集整理了雅思写作Task1曲线图考官范文3认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验自己的写作水平并能很好地吸收和应用优秀范文里的优秀...

雅思写作Task1书信考官范文(2)

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task1书信考官范文2本文为大家收集整理了雅思写作Task1书信考官范文2认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验自己的写作水平并能很好地吸收和应用优秀范文里的优秀内容...

雅思写作Task2考官范文:工作压力

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task2考官范文工作压力现代人用越来越多的精力来应付工作带来的压力放松的时间却越来越少本文是关于工作压力的一篇雅思范文供大家参考认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验...

雅思大作文真题范文及指导

20xx0915教育类MoneyforpostgraduateresearchislimitedThereforesomepeoplethinkfinancialsupportfromgovernmentssh...

雅思写作Task2考官范文:政府类(4)

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task2考官范文政府类4本文收集整理了雅思写作Task2考官范文政府类4认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验自己的写作水平并能很好地吸收和应用优秀范文里的优秀内容T...

雅思写作Task1饼状图考官范文(3)

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task1饼状图考官范文3本文为大家收集整理了雅思写作Task1饼状图考官范文3认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验自己的写作水平并能很好地吸收和应用优秀范文里的优秀...

雅思大作文写作技巧--突出主体句

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思大作文写作技巧突出主体句雅思大作文一共要写250个词但是真正的英语议论文至少也是1000个字起如此比较雅思作文中清晰和有条理就非常的必要否则因为文章太长不少老师或者雅思考官根本不会有...

雅思(ielts)写作:雅思大作文9分范文分析

海量资料下载免费学习英语wenkxdhtm申请网址中国人写的雅思作文有结构但语言不够地道nativespeaker写的文章够地道但不够雅思因此市面上总找不到完美的雅思例文此次我特别邀请我的美国朋友同样研究和教授...

雅思写作Task1书信考官范文(1)

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思写作Task1书信考官范文1这是一篇雅思写作Task1书信考官范文供大家参考认真研读一定的雅思范文及作文模板可以帮助我们检验自己的写作水平并能很好地吸收和应用优秀范文里的优秀内容Yo...

雅思考官写作9分范文:国家间的经济文化交流

最权威的国际教育服务平台雅思考官写作9分范文国家间的经济文化交流最新雅思考官写作9分范文Somepeoplesaythattheincreasingbusinessandculturalcontractbetw...

雅思大作文考官(34篇)