(江南四大才子结伴出游)
一女子:你们看,你们看,江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )
(众女子兴奋观看)
(四大才子摆POSE,众女子倾倒逃散)
(一女子被四人拦住,被迫跳河)
唐伯虎:想跑?你飞不出我的五指山的。(欲跳下河被拦住) (don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers! )
祝枝山:伯虎兄,有人在看。(keep calm brother tang, someone watching )
祝枝山:今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水,难怪那些女子要疯狂了。(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy !)
文斌:说得是,(that’s true )
文征明:各位各位,既然大家今天兴致这么好,不如来吟首诗如何? (hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山:哎,征明兄提议的好啊。文斌兄你先来。 That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!)
文斌:来呀!(OK),山下一群鹅。
文征明:嘘声赶落河。
祝枝山:落河捉鹅一肚饿。
唐伯虎:吃完回家玩老婆。
三人:哎呀,对得妙呀,真是绝句!( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!) 唐伯虎:啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` (hahahahaha)
三人:真的那么好笑?!(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)
文征明:为什么唐兄每次出游,都那么豪情奔放呢? (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)
文斌:乐而忘形,实在令人(三人)羡慕羡慕啊。(Joy but driven, really make we three envy )
祝枝山:不过老实说,在江南论文章,唐兄他才高八斗,论丹青,妙笔生花,真是不折不扣的才子啊。 (but to be honest ,brother tang’s article and his painting are the most famous ,he is a real talent!) 文斌:不错,最令人羡慕的就是他在音律方面也有很高的造诣。(yes,and he is also good at music )
唐伯虎:那倒是,古今中外各种乐器我样样都玩得都出神入化。最近我还在研究一种西洋打击乐器,很带劲儿哦。有机会可以研究一下,大家。Thanks! There is no doubt that I can play all kids of instrument ,and recently I was studying a western instrument ,it’s perfect ,we can discuss someday!)
文斌:对,研究一下!no problem!
文征明:我觉得唐兄最令人羡慕之处,莫过于他的艳福啊。人人都知道,唐兄家中有八位夫人,各个都貌美如花,国色天香。做人能象唐兄这样,夫复何求啊? But I think what most envy us is his 8 beautiful wifes ,if I have the same lift,there is no regret 唐伯虎:啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (ahahahah)
祝枝山:有马子可以上啊。Look, there is a beauty !
祝枝山:哎,唐兄,你看桥头上有个婀娜多姿的女子,孤孤单单的。这样好了,你就当场示范一下你的泡妞大法,让我们兄弟几个好好地学一学。 Brother tang ,look at the lonely girl ,how about you to show us how can we get a girl’s love !
唐伯虎:这个嘛?? let me see ?
文斌:事关大家的福利,你没问题吧?! Hey ,go ahead ,we are waiting ,do you have something trouble!
唐伯虎: 义不容辞。 No,my pleasure
祝枝山:去呀。 Come on!
唐伯虎: 小姐。 Hai ,miss
女子:公子何事?(一回头,竟是如花!) yes?
三人:上!上!go go go
唐伯虎: 没什么,我想借小姐的肩膀搭一下,不知道可不可以? Nothing, I just want to use your shouler ,so could you give me the chance ?
如花:这怎么行呢,我可是黄花大闺女啊。 That’s crazy! I am not married !
唐伯虎:我知道,我只不过是想整整我的朋友而己。其实在下正是唐伯虎。 I know ,I just play a joke with my friends ,and you know what ,I am tang bo hu如花: 什么糖做的老虎,我不认识你。你再不走,我可要叫了。What? A tiger made by suger?infact I don’t know you ,if you don’t go ,I will shout!
唐伯虎:这样好了,我给你公子何事?意思意思。 Ok,keep calm ,how about I give you ten yuan
如花:一两银子?你当我什么,最起码十两! Ten yuan? No way ,at least one hundred yuan 唐伯虎:哇!你这德性还要十两?!干脆去抢了!wa! Look at you face ,it worth one hundred yuan ? you are really killing me ! you are a robber!
如花:不错,我就是抢!把钱拿出来! Right, I am a robber,give me your money (两人乱打)
唐伯虎:你??你?? you
如花:去死! To death you !
唐伯虎:打你! Beat you!
如花:捅你! Fight you !
(最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中)
三人:哎?搞什么鬼啊? (赶到桥上)怎么搞的?怎么啦? Oh, what are they doing ! what’s wrong!
文征明:你出手也太重了吧?! You are too hard
唐伯虎:他想抢钱,这个死人妖! He want to rob my money,hey,you stupid ladyboy! 三人:啊?!人妖? what? ladyboy?
祝枝山:我喜欢!拿着。 (祝枝山将折扇递给文斌,跳入河中)I like!
文征明:真可惜!让他抢先一步! What a pity ,he robbed first
路人:just do what I tell you
唐伯虎:are you sure this can help me !
路人:thrust me !and remember, you have give all the money that you sale yourself 唐伯虎:no problem!
路人:you are not kidding me ?
唐伯虎:don’t worry ,I never cheat a fool man
路人:ok.good boy!
街坊邻居们,快来啊,刚出炉的孝子大怕卖,不卖也来看一看啊!
(秋香和华府婢女石榴姐出门) hay ,sister and brother ,mother and father, look look ,look look,there is a good son to sale ,if you don’t buy also can have a look! 石榴姐:这位小哥,一大清早就来这里卖身葬父,太不吉利了吧?
Hey ,little brother , it’s too bad to sale yourself at the monrning ,that’s unlucky
唐伯虎:我也不想啊。I know .but just sorry
秋香:我们好像在哪儿见过吧?你看起来好面善。You, I think I have see you before ,you look so familiar
唐伯虎:所谓相逢曾相识,求求两位姐姐可怜可怜我吧! Really, that’s doesn’t matter at all ,I beg you can buy me
石榴姐:真是好惨啊!我们正好缺个下人,我看就--
that’s great .we just want to buy one
(这时又来一个,推着木车,车上六个死人,这人还口吐鲜血,极其悲惨!)
惨人:我好惨啊,卖身葬全家!good ladys, please mercy on me ,I have to sale myself to bury all of my family
唐伯虎:不会吧?! Oh god ,I can’t believe it
惨人: 两位姑娘,可怜可怜我吧,我一家六口一晚上全死光了。我身染十级肺痨,半卖半送,你就买了我吧。Ladys, please buy me ,all of my family were died last night ,and I was illness ,you know how hard I am?.
秋香:哎呀, 石榴,你看他可怜多了,我们就把他买回华府,好不好? Oh,that’s too bad ,石榴 ,let’s buy him ok!
石榴姐:(哭)那就买他吧。 All right,
唐伯虎:姐姐,我先来的哎。 Hey, sister ,I come first !
秋香:这不是先后到的问题嘛。 There is no wander who come first1
石榴姐:对呀,人家家里死了六个,你家才死一个。我也很想帮你,可是我真的很为难啊。yes, he havelose six family ,but you just lose one ,I really want to help you ,but I can’t
唐伯虎:可是我也很惨啊but I also hard
石榴姐:你有什么比他更惨的,快说出来啊。So ,tell us what else can made you more hard than him
唐伯虎:我??我??这??这??,你看我这几天没有剪指甲了,里面全是黑泥,难道这还不够惨吗? I ?i?i?look at my hands ,I haven’t wash my fingers for a long time ,and all of them are full of dirty dusty isn’t hard than him?
(惨人的小狗突然死去)
惨人:(痛哭)旺财??旺财??旺财你不能死啊,旺财,你跟了我这么多年,对我有情有义,肝胆相照,但是到了现在我连一顿饱饭都没让你吃过,我对不起你啊,旺财! You can not die ,you and me live together for so many years ,wo just like brothers, but I can not give you a full lunch, I am so sorry
(唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂,喊“小心啊!”,石榴姐一退,将蟑螂踩死了。) watch out ! 唐伯虎:(悲痛欲绝)小强!小强你怎么了小强?小强,你不能死啊!我跟你相依为命,同甘共苦了这么多年,一直把你当亲生骨肉一样教你养你,想不到今天,白发人送黑发人!small stronger ??.what’s wrong with you, small stronger ,you can not die ,I with you for so many years ,and I threat you as my only child ,can’t believe it, today ,white
hair people send off black hair peple
石榴姐:秋香姐,他们两个都这么惨,怎么办? 秋香, The tow are really hard ,and what should we do
秋香:看看再说。Let’s watching on
石榴姐:噢。 ok
惨人:妈的!(走到唐伯虎跟前,两人对峙)大哥,你别闹了。你看看你那么干净,进去化个妆再来吧。你看看我,烂命一条,满手烂疮,你怎么惨得过我啊? Bad ,don’t play me anymore ,look at your clean face , you are not a good actor ! and look at me ,I have the skin cancer, and will die soon
唐伯虎:你不要跟我比啊,我最受不了人家跟我比了! Kao ,don’t compare with me ,i hate this game!
惨人:跟你比又怎么样? So what!
唐伯虎:你这不是在逼我吗? You said it!
惨人:你能比我惨吗?yes, Can you do more things than me !
(唐伯虎拾起一根棍,将自己的胳膊打断)
唐伯虎:你说你满手烂疮,我现在整条手都断了,谁比谁惨呀!
How about this time ,I lose one of my leg ,
惨人:你玩得太绝了吧?!you are cary!
唐伯虎:你老子我今天跟你卯上了! Yes,I just decided to win you today
惨人:老子陪你玩到底!妈的,来呀!(拿棍子砸破自己的头,血流如注)想跟我玩?我连命都不要了,看你怎么跟我比!谁-敢-比-我-惨-啊?!(倒地身亡) ok, I’ll play with you! ? Bad guy ,I put my lift, and you? Hahaha,who can hard than me !!! 唐伯虎:好小子,算你惨,我们后会有期了! Good job! You win ,ok, see you then? 石榴姐: 那个人死了,只有买你了! Stop, that man was die ,and I‘ll buy you 唐伯虎:是吗?really?
石榴姐:是呀! Yes!
唐伯虎:那你再加五两。But I want to get five dollars
石榴姐:你这是坐地起价! You’re robbing me!
唐伯虎:不是,我是想把这位老兄埋了。 No no no ,I just want to bury the man
石榴姐: 真是个好人,就买他吧。(拿出银子) you are really a good person ,let’s buy him
秋香:哎,石榴,你说买就买呀!我们得先进去问问夫人才能决定呀。你明天再来吧。 Ai ..石榴,you can’t do this, we have to ask for the madom ,so come here tomorrow! 石榴姐:我去问。 I ask now
唐伯虎:秋香姐,辛苦你了! Sister 秋香,thank you !
(秋香进门时回首对唐伯虎三笑)
唐伯虎:现在就开始挑逗我了。老娘!我得手了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~yes, I am so happy!
第二篇:唐伯虎与秋香 小品台词
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人物:唐伯虎,秋香,秋香父,强盗甲,强盗乙,
唐伯虎:(摇扇而上)桃花坞里桃花庵,桃花庵里桃花仙;桃花仙人种桃树,又摘桃花换酒钱,我就是人见人爱,鬼见鬼嗨,车见爆胎,智慧与美貌并重,英雄与侠义的化身,唐伯虎。 昨晚周公告诉我,我今儿个要走桃花运,呵呵呵呵……
秋香:歌(伤不起,真的伤不起,我想你想你想你 想到昏天暗地~~~)人在监理漂,哪能不烤焦,广东公诚通信监理,为你免费提供历年监理知识考卷真题,助你一臂之力!
强盗甲乙:(上场)
甲:闪开,他奶奶的你小子欺负我矮是不?虽然说我长着武大郎的身材,但我还长着一张西门庆的脸不是?大家说是不是? 哎呀,都把今天的正事给忘了,今天有啥活干没有?
乙:大哥,这儿有一个靓妹子!要不咱门和她搭个讪,然后….嘻嘻嘻!
甲:嗯,这个主意不错,走。
甲:呔,此树是我栽,,
乙:此路是我开
甲:要想从此过
乙:留下裤子来! 呸,我要养成职业习惯…..留下卷子来!
秋香:你们想干嘛?
甲:干嘛?没看出来啊?告诉她!
乙:我靠!看不出来?(手指着拿着的刀),这年头太自尊了,这在打劫!
秋香:这是我好不容易才弄到手的监理考试资料答案,后面考试还要用呢!
甲:少废话,你要用我不要用啊?拿来吧你!(抢过来)
乙:大哥,今儿早上出班早,早餐还没吃呢。
甲:你小子肚子饿了吧,好,行,拿钱来!
秋香:你要多少啊?
甲:两块,一个两个豆沙包。
秋香:人家只有5块了啦!
甲:少废话,拿来吧你!(抢过来)。(对乙)哎,你不是还有零钱吗?快找给他。 乙:大哥,早上买了把刀,就只剩下这最后三块钱了………
甲:他妈的,咱门做生意的就要讲究信誉,说收两块就收两块,全给她!
秋香:还可以买一碗豆腐花~~~~~~ 大哥啊,卷子也给你了,钱也给了,就放我走吧! 乙看了一下秋香
(甲乙商量)乙:这个妹子长得不错呀!要不咱门……….?
甲:哦,他妈的你小子,走!
动作~~~~
秋香:你们要干嘛? Oh my god , Oh my god ,ya…..
唐伯虎:菊花点穴手! 混账东西,大白天也敢抢东西,今天碰上我唐寅,算你们倒霉,知道八荣八耻吗,阿? 党平时是怎么教育你们的? 我最瞧不起你们这些抢小妹妹卷子的东西,考试还需要答案吗?(抢试卷) 啥卷子,我看看。居然这么简单的监理知识的卷子,你们都不会,平时不去旁站监理都搞什么灰机去了? 你看看你,明明腿脚不好,还出来随便走动,就你这样也出来抢劫,警察叔叔来了怎么办? 真替你发愁啊! (对乙)还有你,大冷天的你就穿那么一点衣服,你还以为你是爱斯基摩人啊? 哦滴神啊,救救这两个败家的孩子吧! 姑娘,这是你的。
秋香:公子,你还没给他们解穴呢。
唐伯虎:哦~~~菊…花解穴手!
甲:哎呀,大锅,你还真能说!感情你是和唐僧是一个妈生得吧?
唐:说啥呢?唐僧是唐僧他妈生的,我是我妈生的,我不是唐僧他妈生得,唐僧不是我妈生的,我很啰嗦了吗?
乙:大锅你饶了我们吧,我们做点小买卖也不容易啊!你是墨迹死人不偿命啊!
唐:我墨迹啊?我墨迹啊,那你还能活的好好的?没死就证明我不墨迹。
乙:放过我们吧,给我们一个重新创造自我的机会吧,我一定要改过自新!
唐:废话!排山倒海!