2012考研钻石包过班 作文批改 这是我的一个学员的写的作文，发给大家，供大家学习参考。我的qq 377960180 注明 考研钻石班
What these two drawings above illustrate is a little flower,under the protection of the greenhouse,is in full bloom / Flourishing no matter how terrible the weather would be like, Of course, the opposite side of this phenomenon also exists.the beautiful flower is no longer growing in favorable condition.In no time will the flower die,if it can not adapt to the new circumstance.
Obviously, the cartoons intend to reveal the phenomenon-the youth lack of independence-which widely exists in our society.It is not uncommon that we graduates,when leave campus for position,have a sense of unfamiliarity and dissatisfactory,moreover escape from the cut-throat competition of job market or low-income, high strength work.Currently, young adults of our generation who are brought up without sadness and sorrow.Parents,all the time,drive their best efforts to meet the unreasonable requirement made by their only child.When we enter into school with the guidance of our teachers,we seldom independently copy with difficulties we have ever confronted.
Therefore, When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes,,it is high time that youngsters come to realize their own shortcomings before they completely prepares to hunt for work.In addition,our society and school should provide support and advice for them so that these green hands can adjust themselves to the multivariant environment in the coming future/ in the near future/
in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）
1、 一定要多变化，比如通篇不要全部用the youth，替换词很多，
比如the young people ; youngsters ; the youth ; young
adults
2、 在一些名词或者动词前面可以扩展下，加上形容词或者副词，
第一能增加字数，第二能使得句子更加形象生动，比如你文中
的meet the requirement，可以改成meet the unreasonable
requirement
3、 to seek for a job，这里“找工作”的表达很多，比如apply for
a job，hunt for work 。而“求职者”地道的表达多用 job
hunter ，job seeker等。再发散下，解聘怎么表达？？dismiss
an employee。“雇主“employer，”被雇佣者“背单词一定要
注意发散，联想。
4、 ,it is high time that 。。。。。，这个句型大家也可以用用，但是
注意后面要跟 动词原形do
5、 in the coming future/ in the near future/
in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）这个用法务必掌握！！一般用在作文的结尾句最后。
6 drawings、cartoons、pictures、 注意几个替换
7 When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes, it is high time that。。。、注意这个句型，非常地道！
8 drive their best efforts to do / try one's utmost to do/ do one's best endeavors 尽最大努力做某事
9 In addition,或者用additionally
附 2012考研钻石班介绍
辅导内容：
辅导老师介绍 辅导老师为在读博士！当年07年考研398分！英语90分政治85
分！数学120！硕博连读！新学期开学后
博2！
1、购买后，由店主独家电话联系您，先把考研的学习方法，总体给你讲下！大概一个小时。然后听您介绍下你的情况，根据你的学习情况制定一个适合你的学习计划,然后提供当年店主在文都考研交流讲座的发言稿！
2、提供全天候电话咨询！短信复习指导，每天发送！加飞信！24小时保持电话畅通！在备考中有任何疑问随时联系，全程监督！每周大家跟我汇报学习情况！
3、提供店主当年的学习笔记，现在仅存英语的笔记。经典！
4、提供全程的作文批改！每周一篇命题作文！ 5、提供市场上常见的各大学校的视频课程 包括 新东方 文都 海天 启航 太奇 文登等学校视频全程，方便备考！另外对这些课程进行分类，重点推荐的老师，重点复习！
6、笔试成功后，提供面试复习经验！
具体可以旺旺联系，也可以电话咨询！
不满意随时可以退款！！本服务特别适合基础差，想一次性过线的！在职的，时间少的！考过的，想再次奋斗考高分的！
qq 377960180 注明 考研钻石班
第二篇：20xx考研钻石班-某同学的作文批改
2011考研钻石包过班 作文批改
What these two drawings above illustrate is a little flower,under the protection of the greenhouse,is in full bloom / Flourishing no matter how terrible the weather would be like, Of course, the opposite side of this phenomenon also exists.the beautiful flower is no longer growing in favorable condition.In no time will the flower die,if it can not adapt to the new circumstance.
Obviously, the cartoons intend to reveal the phenomenon-the youth lack of independence-which widely exists in our society.It is not uncommon that we graduates,when leave campus for position,have a sense of unfamiliarity and dissatisfactory,moreover escape from the cut-throat competition of job market or low-income, high strength work.Currently, young adults of our generation who are brought up without sadness and sorrow.Parents,all the time,drive their best efforts to meet the unreasonable requirement made by their only child.When we enter into school with the guidance of our teachers,we seldom independently copy with difficulties we have ever confronted.
Therefore, When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes,,it is high time that youngsters come to realize their own shortcomings before they completely prepares to hunt for work.In addition,our society and school should provide support and advice for them so that these green hands can adjust themselves to the multivariant
environment in the coming future/ in the near future/
in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）
1、 一定要多变化，比如通篇不要全部用the youth，替换词很多，
比如the young people ; youngsters ; the youth ; young
adults
2、 在一些名词或者动词前面可以扩展下，加上形容词或者副词，
第一能增加字数，第二能使得句子更加形象生动，比如你文中
的meet the requirement，可以改成meet the unreasonable
requirement
3、 to seek for a job，这里“找工作”的表达很多，比如apply for
a job，hunt for work 。而“求职者”地道的表达多用 job
hunter ，job seeker等。再发散下，解聘怎么表达？？dismiss
an employee。“雇主“employer，”被雇佣者“背单词一定要
注意发散，联想。
4、 ,it is high time that 。。。。。，这个句型大家也可以用用，但是
注意后面要跟 动词原形do
5、 in the coming future/ in the near future/
in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）这个用法务必掌握！！一般用在作文的结尾句最后。
6 drawings、cartoons、pictures、 注意几个替换
7 When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes, it is high time that。。。、注意这个句型，非常地道！
8 drive their best efforts to do / try one's utmost to do/ do one's best endeavors 尽最大努力做某事
9 In addition,或者用additionally