二来就是不同素材的选择。有的同学觉得几个主题都能够写，都说得出东西来。那么首先Cong一下，因为至少不会觉得无话可说。但选择哪个呢？这里建议选择你最看重的那方面。虽然Essay能让AO对你有所了解，但毕竟区区几百字的东西，其篇幅限制了它的展现能力和范围。所以，一定要选择自己最看重，最引以为自豪的特点来进行描述，因为它是你的最亮点，而不要弄一些无关痛痒的东西在上面。举个例子，比如我既喜欢足球，而且对化学也有着强烈的爱好。那么这两者都可以成为主题。但是选哪个呢？足球给我乐趣，教会了我一些东西比如拼搏奋斗，团队精神，乃至还强身健体，似乎是个很不错的主题。而化学却是我的梦想所在，是我的精神支柱，是我前进的动力。那么这个时候，就应该选择化学，因为它更多的反映了你的内在。拼搏奋斗，团队精神都是大家都可以学习拥有的东西，而你个人的精神内在和梦想却是你独有的。这个时候，就应该选择更能反映自己独特的主题。因为它是你最重要的。例子比较粗浅，大家明白意思即可。总是有人抱怨自己写的文章很Common，平常普通。那是因为只谈及平常普通的道理，而不是把自己的独特反映出来。希望引以为鉴。
关于如何修改
其实我比较想说的是这一部分：如何修改写出来的Essay。毕竟一直在做这个事情，所以观点可能更加Original。以下说明的问题不代表自己看过的文章中的缺点，有些只是顺便提提而已呵呵。所举的例证也无针对性，不少是我自己编的。。。 首先是修改的必要性。有人说自己改Essay并不多，一气呵成，然后放个两个星期，再改一遍就可以提交了。这是每个人特有的方法，如果有效当然没问题。但我觉得绝大多数人的Essay还是需要经过一个反复修改润色的过程。许多有成功经历的同学自言主要Essay都改过十几稿几十稿，的确说明了这个问题。有道是文章越改越好，所以还是不要偷懒，尽量把文章多改几遍，才能有新的语言和新的思想。先插一句，修改的时候还是可以把原稿保存，复制一遍贴在下面改。因为谁都不知道原来版本中有什么东西是值得保留的。如果一时心热直接在原稿上动工之后发现还有一些地方其实原来写的反而好些，那么就十分可惜了。 下面谈一下Essay中常见的各种问题，也就是可以修改的方向。
1．整体思想。个人觉得整体思想永远是第一要务。如果文章整体上讲没有一个统一的思想和主题，那么就成了真正的“散文”了。“纯文学作品”一直都还是不怎么受AO欢迎的，所以写完后一定要先总体上看看它到底说了些啥。如果觉得没什么比较有价值的中心和内容的话，那还是建议大改一番，乃至推倒重来。
2．行文结构。有些文章虽然有主题和思想，但无奈欠缺章法。没有清楚的脉络，而是一盘散沙，各个部分相互之间关系不大。还有一种常见情况就是思维出现跳跃。段落和段落，前句和后句之间不是很有联系。或者前面在说一件事，后面写的却和前面关系不大。这样容易让AO摸不着头脑，找不出逻辑，说不定心里烦闷就直接大段大段WS了。出现这些情况的原因主要有两种。其一就是结构本来没构建好，组织不清晰连贯。举个例子，比如文章本来依循时间线索，结果写的时候先说自己5岁，然后说自己8岁，突然突然无缘无故跳到现在，然后又跳回10岁，这样的话就是结构上的失误。解决方法通常是在写之前就找到清晰的线索和叙述顺序，然后一步步按顺序来。建议大家构思时就想好结构，动笔时不断提醒自己注意顺着结构展开描述议论。如果在写好后才发现这种问题，可以尝试的办法是适当调整段落顺序；另一个原因就是衔接不到位。这种情况下一般可以考虑在段尾或段首加上衔接句，使开头更明晰，结尾更完整。或者在句和句之间有空缺的地方补上承接的话。这样，就可以让“断层”消失。
3．语法。语法是国内的应试英语角语十分强调的内容，结果有些同学考试英语在校考试成绩很好，写起文章却错误很多。在此建议在修改时睁大眼睛，仔细地寻找可能出错的地方，就像训练做SAT WR部分选择题一样。通常错误也就那么几类，一般是时态，动词第三人称，Run-On Sentence，前后主谓一致性，无主语等等。特别强调一下似乎不少人都不怎么使用完成时态，这一点不太好。因为很多时候现在完成时和过去完成时是很重要的。
4．句式。句式的多样性一直是一大问题。有些筒子抱怨写来写去都是哪几种句式，不新颖。这里我要说的是多样化的句式都是自己总结出来的，别人不会帮你总结，要靠自己思考和发现。句式是文笔的一大表现，所以各位还是练好写作能力为上。不过还是有些方法，比如长短句结合，被动态句式，排比句，分词作主语，从句。。。可以尝试一下，看看效果如何。还有一个问题就是超长句。其实没必要把一个句子写那么长。。。我一看到就想到了杨鹏同志。所以一定要把那些超长句拆短。否则AO都不能一眼看明白。
5．用词。有些同学 喜欢先想出汉语，然后翻译成英语。结果一旦不会翻译就求助于Baidu或者汉英词典。后果之一就是文章中有时会出现一些生僻词，但用法其实不对。解决方法就是谨慎用词。或者使用一个拿不准的词前找英语好的人，比如老师或者Native Speaker看看行不行。还有一个问题就是词汇的多样性，这一点也要注意。永远要把相同的两个词之间的“距离”拉得越长越好。
6．完整性。不可否认戛然而止是一种美。但如果你在段中戛然而止或者留下了不必要的“悬念”的话，建议还是让AO看到一个完整的故事比较好。注意检查自己是不是有没有圆满说完的地方。
7．清晰性。有时候写出来的文章自己明白意思，别人看就摸不着头脑了。所以写的时候一定要表达清楚，而且千万不要有歧义。就算有一点可能引起歧义的可能，也要把它消灭在萌芽状态。由此还牵扯出一个小问题，就是SAT里头常考的指代清晰性。有时候一个he或者them会让AO不知道指的到底是前面的谁，所以代词的使用要注意。
8．学术性。不可否认有些时候一些比较学术的东西可能会在Essay中出现。对某专业的热爱有时还会成为主题。这时要尽可能低估AO 的智商—这样没有坏处。AO不是专业人员，也不是某领域的教授。所以在心中要把他们和劳苦大众划等号，用尽可能通俗的语言把要说的陈述出来。还有，不要为了展现所谓的思想而“炫耀”自己。（这点不少书都说过）现在这个年龄的人不可能有多少成熟完备的思想。展现自己的动力，热情和兴趣反而更加有效。与其大书特书在某领域的不成熟的见解或者已经取得的“光辉耀眼”的成绩，不如给AO展现自己能在今后继续奋斗或思考下去的可能。
9．流畅和音律：这就是比较“高级”的问题。一篇好的Essay应该看起来流畅自然，读起来朗朗上口。这就对句型的选取，句式的运用和搭配，词汇的取舍有更高的要求了。所以，大家还可以时不时把Essay读出来，然后体会自己的感受。Essay写到很优秀的层面，不仅内容，思想一流，而且行文有节奏，有韵律，给人以美的享受。能做好这一方面实属不易，而这种层次也应该是大家的奋斗目标。
10. 最后说一个最让人头疼的问题：Essay字数。不少同学落笔万言，结果发现大大超出了学校字数要求。首先强调一下，字数的限制一定要遵守！不要做不听话的孩子。这可是很严
肃的问题。虽然有人可能会拿出某某文章N千字结果作者还是被Harvard录取的例证来反驳，但我还是要说一句，一定要遵守字数的规定，不能超出太多了。其实，字数太多就是文章还需修改的标志，因为一定能有办法把它们删除。一定要删！不删就写不出好文章。下面介绍几个删文章的方法。
A.把不太相关的东西删掉。比如一些多余的细节，一些铺垫性的语句，一些用来烘托气氛的用此，一些用来调侃的情节等等，都要坚决地删。很多同学喜欢写一些有趣的细节或者故事来给文章增色，比如“我小时候。。。” “当我8岁时。。。”“我曾经天真地以为。。。” 其实它们都可以更加简单。
B.一些段落其实可以合并。有时候写两段不如写一段，因为你会发现次重点的内容很多是可以在相对较少的空间里说完的。
C.不要重复。有时候一些些同学喜欢重复一些词汇或者语句来进行强调，比如说“Blah Blah Blah is really important, meaningful and significant.”，或者“Blah Blah Blah gives me an impressive lesson. It has influenced me a lot. It also has totally changed my life. It 这很显然就要删掉重复的部分，把它们弄简洁。
D.适当地议论。议论是中国人的强项。但美国人似乎对长篇大论的感慨不怎么感兴趣。大道理是要讲的，但是简明扼要还是要注意的。高潮和升华是要有的，但不要成了空中楼阁，或者无病呻吟。多余的议论部分也可以删掉。
E.列举太多成果或者经历。这也不消说。文章不需要那么多细节和成果展示。要写的话可以放简历里。
F.句式的恰当选取和陈述简洁。简单和流畅的句式可以把字数减少。所以大家要注意句子的使用（这又扯到前面去了）
差不多就以上这些，大家都要多多总结。其实文章是一定可以删减的，删减的过程就是一个反省和精炼的过程。而且删的时候一定要狠心，不要手下留情。有时候觉得这个句子很美，这个情节很有意思，都舍不得删。这时一定要果断地把它们划上叉，因为它们不必要。删掉之后，你会发现其实海阔天空。而且在这个过程中，除了删除多余语句外，还要添加一些内容，让文章更加充实，信息量更大。你可能会有疑问：字数少了，怎么内容还增加了呢？其实改文章改到后面，你就一定会体验到这种感觉。因为文章有效成分多了，而且也更加紧凑了。所以中心更明确，各个部分也能更好的为主题服务。我当初第一稿主Essay近2000字，仍然意犹未尽。结果花了数月，后来删至600余字，觉得和第一稿比起来简直是脱胎换骨。
第二篇：Business essay
GAC022 Assessment Event 2: Written Report
Marketing a Local Brand
Overseas
Student’s Name: Qu Shengdi (Sandy)
Student ID: NFLS17927
Teacher: Chunhong Qi
Due Date: 10 Feb. 2012
Word Count: 1013
GAC012 AE#2 Qu Shengdi(Sandy) Table of Contents
Executive Summary
1.0 Introduction
1.1 The objectives of the research
1.2 The local brand which will be marketed overseas
1.3 Background knowledge
2.0 Methods
2.1 Data collection methods
2.2 How data achieved the purpose of the research 3.0 Findings
3.1 PEST analysis on Russia and Brazil
3.2 How Unilevel markets its brands in Russia and Brazil 4.0 Discussion
4.1 Interpretation of findings in light of thesis statement
4.2 Effectiveness of the research
5.0 Conclusions and Recommendation
5.1Decisions on which country to market soybean milk
5.2Action that should be taken
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GAC012 AE#2 Qu Shengdi(Sandy) NFLS17927 Executive Summary
The purpose of the research was to determine whether to market textiles in Russia or Brazil. All the information and data was collected online and by interviews. The textiles should be promoted in Russia since it has more advantages there.
1.0 Introduction
1.1 The objectives of the research
The purpose of the research is to determine which country is more suitable for promotion of Fuanna Textiles.
1.2 The local brand which will be marketed overseas
The brand I will market in foreign countries is Fuanna Textiles. Originally, it was a textiles shop in Shenzhen. Nowadays, it is popular in many province of China. The brand only sells the beddings. I choose this brand since I think the development of Russia in heavy industry is very high while the textile industry is weak, so the Russians would like to have more chooses of bedding. In addition, China is near Russia, which makes it easy to sell the brand and do market researches there.
1.3 Background knowledge
Two business concepts will be applied in the research process and evaluation of results: foreign market entry modes and PEST analysis. Market entry modes are approaches
companies use to enter a new international market, including exporting, licensing, joint
venture, foreign direct investment and the Internet. PEST analysis is a tool to examine four aspects of international market, including political, economic, social-cultural, and
technological factors. In mainland China, Yonghe soybean milk’s distribution mode is
licensing. The brand is most likely to be marketed in Russia. The technological factors should be most essential in decision-making since soybean milk’s freshness needed to be retained with technology.
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GAC012 AE#2 Qu Shengdi(Sandy) NFLS17927 2.0 Methods
2.1 Data collection methods
All data can be collected by searching information on appropriate websites.
2.2 How data achieved the purpose of research
Relevant data about political, economical, social-cultural and technological factors in Russian and Brazil will be downloaded from the Internet. These data is helpful in comparing two countries’ external environment. The manager can provide most updated information about diverse market. In addition, the data offered is accurate, and it will increase the validity of the conclusion. Then data can be evaluated to determine the better market for Fuanna Textiles.
3.0 Findings
3.1 PEST analysis on Russia and Brazil
Recent years, the government of Russia sets many restrictions importing in order to prevent negative effects foreign companies have on local economics. Recently, Russian’s economic growth is positive in all areas. Although high, inflation rate continued to decline these years. The only problem in Russian economics is high taxation. Many local corporations seek illegal ways to avoid the tax. Russian information technology is advanced in the world.
Brazil is one of the countries which have heaviest taxation in South America. There are 58 kinds of taxation in Brazil. The services sector is the main dynamic of economic growth. Inflation rate and the employment situation remain stable.
3.2 How Unilevel markets its brands in Russia and Brazil
In Russia, Unilever uses foreign direct investment in Russian market. It has acquired 82% of the stock in leading Russian beauty company Kalina. Unilevel plans to invest up to € 50 millions in agriculture in Russia’s Tula region by 2014 since it can agricultural production is related to company’s profits. It can also contribute to economic development and employment rate of the region. Russian Unilevel is considered the best employer among students of some Russian universities. It not only promotes its brand, but also holds social responsibility in Russia. Unilever also uses foreign direct investment in Brazil. Brazilian Unilever abides labor 10/02/2012 page3
GAC012 AE#2 Qu Shengdi(Sandy) NFLS17927 laws and accepts labor unions.
4.0 Discussion
4.1 Interpretation of findings in light of thesis statement:
The common disadvantage of both Russian and Brazil are the high taxation and the restriction of foreign companies and staff. Although the technology in Russia is a leading position in the world, the textile industry in Russia is backward around the world. On the other hands, to compare with the taxation in both Russia and Brazil, the taxation in Brazil is heavier than Russia. Furthermore, because of the lower level of education in Brazil, the government of Brazil is committing to educate highly qualified talents.
4.2 Effectiveness of the research
PEST analysis of Russia and Brazil can provide comprehensive analysis of whole markets in these two countries, but the sources are limited sometimes, so some detail information may not able to find in the websites.
5.0 Conclusion and Recommendations
5.1 Decisions on which country to market beddings
Russia will be the chosen place to market beddings. First of all, Russia is the textile industry in Russia is backward around the world; the government takes more care about the technology. The quantity demanded in Russia is much larger than that in Brazil. In addition, although the taxation in Russia is very high and the programs of import are very rigorous, the whole cost is much lower than that in Brazil.
5.2 Actions that should be taken
The company should add more series of beddings so that people would have more choose for their beddings. We can add some beddings for gift boxes as well and that will be a good gift for the buyers.
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GAC012 AE#2 Qu Shengdi(Sandy) NFLS17927 References
Russia (2012), Wikipedia [online]. Available at: /wiki/Russia
Brazil (2012), Wikipedia [online]. Available at:
Riley, G. (2006), As Markets and Market Systems, Eton College [online]. Available at:
[Accessed 6 October 2011]
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