周末,一名律师驾车在山区公路上行驶,忽然他看到前面路边有停车的交通标志。律师看周围没什么异常,于是并没把车停下,而只是把车速降下来。不一会儿,律师的车就超越了停车标志牌。这时,一名警察赶紧上前制止了律师的行为,并要求他下车接受处罚。
律师很淡定,他认为自己对法律了如指掌,山区小警察肯定不如他,所以他打算和警察周旋一番。
警察礼貌地对他说:“请出示您的驾驶证和车辆行驶证。”
律师明知故问:“为什么?”
警察回答:“因为这里有停车标志,可您却没有停车。”
律师笑着说:“我已经减速了呀,这和停车有什么区别?”
“当然有区别,”警察斩钉截铁地说,“停车就是要求您的车子处于静止状态,这就是法律。请出示您的证件!”
“我看这样吧,”律师嬉皮笑脸地说,“如果你能找出一条减速和停车有区别的法律条款,我就把证件给你,并接受处罚。如果你找不到,就不要给我开罚单了。”
警察拍拍他的车门说:“您的话听起来似乎有点道理,那么请您下车说话。”
律师刚一下车,警察便抽出腰间的警棍没头没脑地朝律师打过去。律师痛得嗷嗷直叫,双手抱头直想逃,却被警察一把拽住了。这时,警察挥舞警棍的速度明显慢下来,不过每一下都结结实实地敲在律师的身上。
警察边打边问:“您是要我停下来,还是要我的速度慢下来?”
第二篇:英语幽默故事
幽默,形容有趣或可笑而意味深长。它是外来词,由英文Humor音译而来的。下面是关于英语幽默故事的内容,欢迎阅读!
同辈的压力
My teen-age son,Chad,and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it,she asked him why he did it.”Peer
pressure," Chad told her.
一天晚上,我十几岁的儿子查理,带着九个朋友回到家,他们都扎了耳朵眼儿。当儿子的奶奶听说了这件事时,她问我儿子为什么要这样做,查理告诉她:“是同辈的压力。”
"You should be a leader instead of a follower,”Grandma said.
奶奶说:“你应该做个领头的,”
"I was,"he replied. "It was my idea.”
“我是个领头的。”他回答说:“这是我的主意。”
证明
A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed,but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards,her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license,but she didri t have one.
一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票,但是她在我们这儿没建立帐户。当我问她要证明材料时,她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证,她说她没有。
"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.
“难道你就没带照片的东西吗?”
"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "
“噢,有啊,”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照,“站在后排的那个就是我。”
轻而易举
Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son,Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally,I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement,I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.
出了厨房我便走进了车库,不留神把门锁给撞上了,把我自己锁在了门外。我那18个月的儿子泰勒在屋里。于是,我在外边千方百计地想让他帮我开门,结果均告失败。最后,我围着房子想找以个开着的窗子。令我吃惊的是,前门开着,我的儿子站在门口正与一个推销员在谈话。
"I've been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"
我对那推销员说:“我被锁在了外边20多分钟,你是怎样让他给你开门的”。
Looking puzzled,the man replied,“I rang the doorbell."
面带惊奇的推销员答说:“我只按了一下门铃。”