教育孩子认识自己的情绪、控制自己的情绪
家长首先要让孩子懂得哪些情绪是好的,哪些情绪是不好的。好的积极的情绪,如热情、欢快、乐观、和善等易被社会接受的情绪,应让它自由地表现出来;不好的消极的情绪,如冷淡、抑郁、悲观、愤怒等不易被社会接受的情绪,要对它加以抑制和消除。同时,家长还要让孩子懂得应该在什么样的场合下表现什么样的情绪,以便让孩子能自觉地掌握,逐渐形成自我控制情绪的能力。
二、要注意孩子情感的细微变化
家长要与孩子心灵沟通,做孩子的知心朋友,要了解孩子的要求,只要是合理的、能够满足的,家长应该尽量予以满足;不合理的、不能满足的,则要向孩子说明为什么不能满足的道理。家长千万不能不关心孩子的痛痒,也不能让孩子放任自流,更不能动辄训斥、打骂,压抑孩子的情感流露。相反,家长应让孩子的情感能得到合理流露,并要了解它的原因,需要解决的应及时加以控制。
三、培养孩子的社会交往能力
1 、要为孩子创造各种社交条件。如果家里来了客人,家长要让孩子相识相伴、倒茶接待。孩子耳染目濡,就会逐渐学会待人接物之道。家长也要适当地带孩子去参加一些聚会、晚会,让孩子见见各种场面,学习与各种人打交道。这样,会使孩子增长见识、增强信心,在孩子社会交往时就会变得落落大方。
2 、要孩子抓住各种社交机会。家长带孩子上街,要鼓励孩子问路。带孩子上车,要让孩子去买车票。如果孩子的同学来家里玩时,要让孩子当小主人,父母千万不要包办代替。如果孩子当了小干部,父母要积极支持。
3 、要孩子多多参加集体活动。在集体活动中,孩子与同龄的小朋友一起生活,他们会相互教会怎样生活、怎样相处、怎样玩耍。家长要欢迎孩子的小朋友上门来玩,也要鼓励自己的孩子到别的小朋友家里去玩。在孩子与其他小朋友交往的过程中,家长要教育自己的孩子严以律己,宽以待人,互相依赖,彼此尊重。
总之,“情商 EQ ”是指一个人控制自我情绪和调节人际关系的能力,是孩子未来成功的“关键因素”,应引起广大家长的高度重视。
19xx年,美国有个邮递员,无意中看到小孩手里拿着一根发绿色亮光的荧光棒在玩耍。这玩意儿能派什么用场呢?经过大胆设想,他决定把棒棒糖放在荧光棒的顶端,这样呢,光线就会穿过半透明的糖果,显现出一种奇幻的效果,而夜间则更加明显。于是,他立刻就研究出来了能发光的棒棒糖,还掏了一笔可观的银子申请了专利。紧接着,他把这项专利卖给了美国开普糖果公司,一下子就挣了6万美元。这个发光棒棒糖只是奇迹的小开端,这个邮递员还发现,棒棒糖舔起来很费劲,起码对小孩子来说,时间久了,糖还没吃完,小鳃帮一定很酸。那么,继续大胆设想,棒棒糖能不能带一个能自动旋转的插架?由电池驱动小马达,通过小齿轮减速可以转动糖果,这样鳃帮不就不酸了吗?而且还比较好玩!于是他又申
请了旋转棒棒糖的专利,还是卖给开普糖果公司,这次的专利费他更是神话般地挣了80万美元。当然,糖果公司得到的回报更多,因为在接下来的两年里,公司生产的旋转棒棒糖,一共卖出了6万万多个,创造了糖果销售史上的神话!
山东有个苏教授,发明了履带机器人,用以代替人在地形复杂危险的矿井里勘探作业。可是,机器人有个最致命的缺陷,那就是自身携带电池的电量无法达到长时间使用的需要。苏教授为此苦恼不已。一天,他无意中看到了实验室里的老鼠,一个大胆的设想在他的脑海里形成:那就是把机器人换成老鼠,老鼠会有足够的能量在矿井下长时间行进,如果将勘探的镜头绑在它的身上,人就可以通过无线电装置观察井下的情况了。在常人看来,这简直是神话,更是无稽之谈,因为活生生的老鼠怎么能听从人的指挥呢!但苏教授自有奇思妙想,简单说就是给老鼠的大脑中植入电脑芯片,人通过操作电脑键盘来远程控制鼠脑。苏教授立刻打报告向有关部门申请科研经费,没想到竟然给这个近乎天方夜谭的科研新课题争取到了50万元的巨额经费。苏教授和他的助手夜以继日地进行复杂艰辛的实验,剖开了近万只老鼠的头颅,终于成功地完成了电脑对接鼠脑的科研实验。喜讯传出,举世沸腾。这一科学史上的创举必将给人类的多个领域带来不可估量的价值。
电影《神话》有段经典台词:“在没有科学验证之前,很多事情都可以叫神话。1xx年前,无线电话叫神话,飞机是神话,登陆月球更是天大的神话,就算是xx年前,电脑和数码科技不一样是神话吗?”循规蹈矩是永远不能创造神话的,唯有把大胆的想象做为先决条件,才有可能把神话变成现实。
小键是个聪明伶俐、善于交往的孩子。在游戏中,他能巧妙地处理好与伙伴的关系。一次,小健和几个小朋友一起玩“开汽车”,他很想当司机,但是涛涛已经坐在了司机的位置上,怎么办?总不能把伙伴从司机的位置上推下来呀!聪明的小健找来一块硬纸板,上面订了几叠“车票”,他拿着“票本”对涛涛说:“你看,这个票本多漂亮!”涛涛一见漂亮的票本和小健那兴奋得意的神情,马上被“售票员”的工作吸引住了,对小健说:“我当售票员吧?”“行,你来当售票员,我当司机!”小健爽快地答应着,把票本递给涛涛,高高兴兴地坐到
司机的座位上。这样,他当上了司机,同时也使同伴感到高兴,当然也没有出现争吵的现象。 小健的小种交往本领是和父母对他的培养分不开的。小健的父母深知要让孩子立足于社会,不仅要使孩子具有丰富的知识,发达的智力,而且还要培养孩子健全的人格,其中重要的一点就是要让他学会与人交往。为了培养和提高孩子与伙伴交往的能力,小健的父母是这样做的:
1、 为孩子创设与同伴交往的条件。孩子间交往首先开始于共同的游戏活动。小健的父母
在孩子很小的时候,就让他和别的孩子一起游戏玩耍。他们允许并支持孩子把同伴领回家来,一起玩玩具、看图书,做游戏。在玩玩笑笑、打打闹闹中,小健获得了与同伴交往的乐趣,并形成了乐于与同伴交往的活泼开朗的性格。
2、 鼓励孩子独立、大胆地与人交往。小健并不是天生下来就会与人交往的,和其他孩子
一样,开始时他也不知道怎样与别人打交道,也想依赖父母的力量去打通和小朋友交往的途径。但是,明智的父母并不替孩子去交友,而是鼓励、支持小健自己去交友。有一次,妈妈领着小健在楼下散步,看见几个小朋友在一起玩球。他羡慕地看着那些扔球的孩子,拉拉妈妈的衣角说:“妈妈,我也想扔球玩!”妈妈说:“好呀,你自己去说。”小健怯生生地走到那几个小朋友面前,用小得连自己也听不表的声音说:“我也想扔球!见别人没有反应,小健便跑回到妈妈身边,央告妈妈:”妈妈,你去跟他们说
嘛!“妈妈笑了笑,鼓励孩子:”你会说,这次声音大点。“小健鼓足勇气,又来到小朋友面前:”我想和你们一起扔球玩。“声音比第一次大了点。但是,不知是玩球的孩子没听见小健的话,还是玩兴正浓,顾不上答理他,小健的话仍然没有引起反应。小健失望地回到妈妈的身边。在这时,皮球滚了过来,妈妈悄声对小健说:“快去帮助拾球!”小健会意了,急忙拾起球,跑到孩子们中间,把球还给他们,并大声说:“我和你们一起玩球吧!”“欢迎,欢迎!”小健的友好举动引起小朋友的好感,他终于凭借自己的办量加入到伙伴的游戏行列中。
3、 教育孩子学会协商、让步和宽容。人际交往是双方互动的过程,小健的父母非常注意
教育孩子在与人交往中学会请求、协商、让步与宽容,学会照顾他人的利益与需要。例如:有礼貌地请求别人:“我想和你们一起摆积木,行吗?”和同伴提出互惠条件:“我让你玩我的小火车,你把你的小轮船借我玩玩,好不好?”向同伴让步:“今天让你先玩这盒新积木,明天我再玩。”正是这种多替别人着想的教育,才使小健学会了用“票本”去吸引伙伴的注意,而使自己顺利当上了“司机”的交往技能。
第二篇:家庭教育使孩子成为自恋的人
The Parenting Style That Turns Kids Into Narcissists
Rearing kids to become adult narcissists seems easier today than at any other point in human history. Just give them a smartphone, a few social media accounts, and a trophy for participation. Right?
It's a reasonable presumption, but researchers at the University of Amsterdam took a more methodical approach to determine what kind of parenting yields narcissistic kids—those who "feel superior to others, fantasize about personal success, and believe they deserve special treatment." The team studied 565 kids and 705 parents over two years and tested two hypotheses for what makes kids narcissists: parental worship or a lack of parental warmth. The results: .
Parents who “overvalue” their kids by teaching them that they're unique and
extraordinary—which they all are, of course—encourage those kids to have an inflated view of themselves and a less charitable view of others. The kids grow up to expect the world will treat them the way their parents do. Which it inevitably doesn't.
That's particularly troubling because the study suggests that narcissism is growing more common. "Narcissism scores have been increasing over the past few decades among university students in the United States," said Eddie Brummelman, lead author of the study, which was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) and is the first to measure the emergence of narcissism among kids aged 7-12. "Unfortunately, little is known about why narcissism seems to be on the rise in the West."
In an earlier study, “ …," the same research team used a questionnaire and scale to measure the distance between how much parents value their children and how the children objectively perform. They concluded, not surprisingly, that "overvalued children are not more intelligent than other children." They used the same questionnaire and scale in this new PNASstudy. Parents are asked to rate statements, such as “My child is more special than other children,” and kids evaluate such lines as "I like to think about how incredibly nice I am.” Another section, the "Parental Overclaiming Questionnaire," asks parents to say how familiar their child is with various books and historical events, people, and places, such as D-Day,
the Russian Passage, and Sherlock Holmes. Never heard of the Russian Passage? That's because it doesn't exist. The list—which was adapted from Edward Hirsch's The New First
Dictionary of Cultural Literacy—includes fake items to suss out parents inclined to claim that their kids know more than they possibly could.
The researchers also point to what may be the best parenting strategy for well-adjusted,
non-narcissistic kids: a combination of "parental warmth" and realism about children's abilities. Self-esteem, they write, may be the foil to narcissism, as it comes from being accepted by others and highly regarded, rather than imposing a vision of oneself on the world. "High
self-esteem, unlike narcissism, predicts lower levels of anxiety and depression over time," they write.
Unchecked, the authors posit, narcissistic people can "contribute to societal problems such as aggression and violence." This supposition, which isn't central to the otherwise interesting, family-focused research, has been the subject of an academic debate that has spilled into
the Do millennials, raised on the Internet and social media, really make the '70s "Me Generation" look like ascetic monks? The debate pivots on the reliability of both
a and the people it's normally given to—college students at a handful of universities.
Society might indeed be getting . But it might just as easily be getting less so, encouraging a "Generation We" over "Generation Me," writes of Clark University, as the Internet makes it easier for individuals to find and help each other. While that debate continues, the value of this latest study is its attention to what parents are doing and how they might change course if they decide that they need to.