O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.Saint Augustine
I knew right away that Rock Hudson was gay when he did not fall in love with me Gina Lollogrigida on Rock Hudson
Sex is an emotion in motion.Mae West
Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing.Vince Lombardi Don't get suckered in by the comments— they can be terribly
misleading. Debug only code.Dave Storer
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. Stephen Leacock.
An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce
He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does as an adult has no brain.John Moore
I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won. Muhammad Ali.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. Patrick Murray.
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.Norm Schryer
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Dave Edison.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.Steven Wright
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.George Burns
You cannot have everything. I mean, where would you put it?Steven Wright.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.George Burns My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I had the chance.Denis Leary.
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.Mae West
My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.Mohammed Saeed al-SahafOn US soldiers attacking Baghdad.
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.Oscar Wilde After The Wizard Of Oz I was typecast as a lion, and there aren't all that many parts for lions.Bert Lahr.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.Groucho Marx
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.George Burns
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.Don Marquis
A hard man is good to find.Mae West
I love everything about you. Your lips, your eyes, your voice. The only thing I can't stand is you.Groucho Marx
There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who know
ternary, those who don't and those who confuse it with binary.unknown The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.Joe E. Lewis I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.Bob Hope
All are lunatics, but he who can analyse his delusions is called a philosopher.Ambrose Bierce
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.Ronald Reagan.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.George Carlin
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. Shirley Temple.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.Bernard Shaw
'Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'.Mae West
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.George Burns
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. Russell Baker.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.Bill Cosby
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the
situation.David Brent
I do not take drugs. I am drugs.Salvador Dali
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.George Gobal.
The best way to behave is to misbehave.Mae West
I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.Woody Allen
What I have crossed out I didn't like. What I haven't crossed out I'm dissatisfied with.Cecil B. DeMille
There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.Woody Allen
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.Marilyn vos Savant
England and America are two countries divided by a common
language.Bernard Shaw
The most important thing for poets to do is to write as little as possible.TS Eliot.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. Larry Lorenzoni.
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. Les Dawson.
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.David Letterman.
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.Woody Allen
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.George Burns
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.Pablo Picasso. Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.Henry A. Kissinger
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.Hunter S. Thompson.
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.Mae West
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information
about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.Alfred Hitchcock The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. George W Bush
Id luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.Bette Davis
The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…It ends with Revelations.Oscar Wilde
He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire. Truman Capote on Mick Jagger
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf. Henry Aaron.
If only God would give me some sign. If He would just speak to me once, anything, one sentence, two words. If He would just cough.Woody Allen
Submitted by Katherine JonesYou are the blur in my eyes (: ! So move I dont wanna go blind
When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. Winston Churchill
You're never too old to become younger.Mae West
People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.Noel Coward.
Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.Clive Barnes Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. T. DeWitt Talmage.
To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit.Enoch Powell.
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. Mark Twain
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys. Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Author.
Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands, and all you can do is scratch it!Thomas Beecham.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.Charles M. Schulz
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.Woody Allen Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them.Virginia Woolf.
I drink therefore I am.W.C. Fields
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.Groucho Marx
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. Dick Cavett.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Jeff Raskin.
Most of the time I don't have any fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.Woody Allen
驾考宝典网 /kaoshi/mobile/ 驾考宝典2016手机版 I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.Steven Wright
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.Groucho Marx
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."Steven Wright
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.Woody Allen
He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."Tommy Cooper
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?Steven Wright
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face.I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.Emo Philips
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.Steven Wright Submitted by Sydney Lewis Some people just need a high fiveIn the faceWith a chair
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.Dave Barry
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.Groucho Marx
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."Steven Wright
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.Oscar Wilde
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.Woody Allen