* I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ALWAYS!!! Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring Wedding Ring SuffeRing The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said: ... “DUST!” In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested! Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two MOTHER-IN-LAWS! Why do men die before their wives? They want to! A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said: “I haven’t eaten anything in four days”. She looked at him and said? ... I wish I had your willpower!
第二篇：人生格言(4)
人生格言
你不可能什么都得到，生活中应该学会放弃，就像清理电脑中的文件一样。时间就像一块橡皮擦，可以轻易抹去那些曾经有心无心错过的记忆，但它却不能擦去那些因过错而烙在你心头的印痕。不要因为错过的事情而耿耿于怀，也不要因为过错而郁郁寡欢，人生本来短暂，没必要再把时间浪费在过去的事情上。