与陌生人聊天的技巧

时间:2024.3.20

搭讪技巧 最近看到很多PUA在聊到陌陌搭讪的时候,一脸苦恼,不知道聊天该怎样继续下去,其中有的是一开始就犯了致命的错误,例如,喜欢一开始就随便开女生玩笑,有的是不知道如何开场,有的是不知道找什么样的话题聊,还有的就是不知道怎样吸引住女生等等,在这里我想分享一下我这么多年的心得和经验,希望对大家有帮助。

一般像陌陌微信之类的搭讪聊天被称为网搭分三个部分,1.开场白2.展开话题

3.收号 。

一,开场白的重要性

我们先讲开场白,有一个好的开场白是非常重要的,熟话说,好的开始是成功的一半。如果没有一个好的开场白,女生自然不会被吸引,不会理你;这其中有的是看了不回,也有的是干脆看都不看,究其原因,就是你的开场白还不够吸引她,像我们经常看到的什么你好阿,可以认识你吗等等之类的,换位思考一下如果你是女生你看到这样的开场白你会有什么样的反应,你要知道一般喜欢玩陌陌的女生都是经常被搭讪的,普通的开场白她们见识多了,经验也多了,不喜欢的就直接略过,更谈不上还有和她进一步聊天的机会了。那究竟怎样的开场白才够吸引了。。这里我列举了几个回复率比较高的开场白,

二,经典开场白惯例

1.引发女生的好奇。这个很重要,例如.额,你的头像。。额。。你的衣服等等(这个开场白非常好用,一般的女生都会很好奇回一句,我的头像/衣服怎么了)。

2.见招拆招。看到女生陌陌的岁数写的比较大或者比较小的时候如50~100,1~18可以表示很惊讶的说,妖精姐姐你好!或者天山童姥你好之类的(一般女生都会回个笑脸或者打个问号,有的还会跟你玩角色扮演)。

3.看图说话。如你的第x张相片好像是传说中的x,或者你第x张图的这个地方我也有去过,你的第x张图的那个东西在哪买的等等,记住,说完后一定要加上自己的感受和见解(这个开场白一般适用于图片有亮点的女生)。

4.赞美和关心。有的女生的图片中有小狗小猫,还有小朋友的,可以适当的赞美一下,你的小狗好可爱阿,样子好萌,有多大了?小朋友好可爱哦,看你的样子应该是很喜欢小朋友的吧/你的样子很和善,应该很受小朋友喜欢吧。。

记住,赞美完后,一定要问对方的意见和看法。不然有的女生在你赞美完她过后,她会认为你是在故意恭维她,一般会看都不看就略过了。。(因为像经常玩陌陌的女生听到赞美她的话,听的太多了,她们对这些赞美会表示出很不屑,所以一定要记住询问对方的意见和看法,这个很重要)。

5.夸有意曲解,如你的刘海放在古代无敌了。你的皮肤好白阿。。照的我都快真不开眼睛了等等(这个后续不好,要考验你接话梗的能力)。记住,聊天开始后不要过多于纠缠在开场白,时机成熟了要直接切入到下一个话题。

6.声东击西法。给她发去三个字“你神经”或者你坏蛋,对方这时肯定会觉得纳闷,一定会回复你。虽然你不认识她,但是为了引起她的注意,这是一个不错的选择。

三,如何展开话题

(一)展开话题又可以分三个阶段:初级阶段,中级阶段,高级阶段。

1.初级阶段 。也就是刚认识的阶段,彼此互相还不熟悉,这个时候最好不要随便乱开玩笑,有的女生会很反感,不过适当的幽默一下还是可以的。

2.中级阶段。双方彼此慢慢开始熟悉了,知道对方是个什么样的人,可以适度的放开一点,玩笑的尺度可以更大,记住,但不要太过了(特别是那种有关性的话题)点到为止就可以了,即使很开放的女生也会适应不了,因为彼此还没到很熟的阶段。

3.最后就是高级阶段也叫深入阶段。这个时候就话题的方向性和深度性也就可以加重了,因为彼此已经很熟悉了。。在她可以接受的范围之内可以适当的挑逗一下对方,开开玩笑,博取对方好感。如果一上来就随便开玩笑,一般女生第一反应会是很诧异,会觉得你这个人怎么是这样,不正经或者是个2货,这主要是因为女生一般都是自我保护意识很强的,不会随随便便接受陌生男生,双方一定要有个初步认识的阶段,而这个阶段一定不能一开始就随便开玩笑,要先抛些适当的话题试探对方的底细,有个初步了解之后就可以适当的幽默一下了,而冷读法也是只适用于这个阶段——中级阶段,不是任何阶段都适用的,所以搭讪的阶段性很重要,要循序渐进的,不可一步登天。

(二)话题的选择性。

很多男人都担心没有话题可聊,有的人一谈到找话题就头大,其实话题的本身不在于你聊什么,而在于你这个话题对于MM本身是否感兴趣,这个才是最重要的,只要是她感兴趣的,任何话题都可以聊,至于怎么聊就看你的发挥了。切记,聊天的过程中话题不要太多,不然MM会感到有压力,说到这里,大家不

妨回头看看自己的搭讪经历,是不是发现有如下共同点,就是在感觉无话可说的时候,特别爱向MM发问,比如:

“你是做什么的?”

“你哪里人?”

“你经常来这里吗?”

“你平时喜欢什么?”

“你是自己一个人吗?

等等等等,不胜枚举,表面上看起来一问一答不亦乐乎,其实呢? 如果用面试来解释搭讪,大家立刻就明白这样的谈话是多么错误了吧——应聘者怎 么可以向考官不停地发问?是人家在选择你还是你在选择人家? 这是一个很简单明显的道理,却一直为大家所忽视,根源还是因为对陌生MM的经验太少,所以会被对方表面的礼貌和客气所迷惑。结果就是在不知不觉中,你已经进入了无聊男人的黑名单。

套用理论也可以这样解释:向对方提问代表的是对她有兴趣(IOI),所以当对方没有兴趣回应,而你却依然不停发问时,就变成了自己的低价值展示了(DLV)。

完美的搭讪只提两次问题:开始一个,比如“我想认识你”或者“你吃饭了吗”;结尾一个,比如“你的电话”或者“认识一下”;中间过程要求全部是对话或者她问我答。

做到这一点其实很不容易,可一旦做到之后,你就会发现搭讪的成功率会大大提高,同时要到的也多为有效号码。

这样的目标该怎样实现呢?或者说“少问”之后如何“多说”呢?我的建议就是联想式和发散性的思维。因为是陌生人,彼此了解有限,所以就要及时抓住对方抛出的每一个关键词,展开话题。切忌东一榔头西一棒子,问一系列无关痛痒的问题。最终,你了解她一堆表面皮毛,她觉得你其实是个草包,OK,这个搭讪绝不会有效。下面举个例子。 。 上次我在陌陌上认识一个8分美女,经过初级阶段的聊天之后,我开始问她叫什么名字,她很风趣的说“我叫音乐 。如果我是这样说:“音乐,你的职业是跟音乐有关吗?” 这就又犯了去提问同时放走好话题的

错误。 这时对方肯定会觉得跟我聊天很无趣,老是问问题。我们聊天的本质就是让女生感觉跟我们聊天很舒服、很没有压迫感。

我是这样回答的;

”哦,音乐你好,那我叫建筑。据说建筑是凝固的音乐,音乐是流动的建筑,是不是说我一见了你我就凝固了,你一见了我你就溜走了?"(抓住对方给的机会去开玩笑,而不是生硬的、无厘头式地开玩笑) 。

(三)关键词

关注聊天本身,而不是聊天话题,很多人都不知道怎么和女孩聊天 ,往往说着说着就没有了话题 。而我认为:聊天根本就不需要准备话题!话题式聊天法:我们聊天的时候总是想要围绕着我们事先想的话题展开,而并没有关注聊天本身:于是我们经常会出现以下情况:

举例:我:你吃饭了吗? (提出一个话题)

MM:吃了我:你在干什么呢? (又提出一个话题)

MM:上网我:你那天气好吗? (又提出一个话题) MM:还可以我:你最近忙吗? (又提出一个话题)

MM:不忙我:。。。。 (没话题可讲了,因为话题总有讲完的时候) 我:哦,这样啊,我就想打电话问问你在干什么,那你继续忙吧,拜拜 MM:拜拜

因为此时你脑子里面想的总是,我该说些什么呢?和MM聊些什么话题呢?这样往往就进入了死胡同,当你事先准备的话题说完后,你就发现,你哑巴了! 关键词法聊天:举例我:你吃饭了吗?(提出一个话题) (关键词:吃饭 饭) MM:吃了啊我:吃的什么啊?(由关键词 吃饭 引发 )

MM:牛肉面啊 我:你自己做的吗?(由关键词 饭 引发 )

MM:牛肉面啊 我:你自己做的吗?(由关键词 饭 引发)

MM:我不会做饭也,买的啊 (关键词:不会做饭 买)

我:你都不会做饭嘛,一个女孩子家家,连饭都不会做,看你怎么嫁的出去(由关键词 不会做饭 引发 出现新的关键词 嫁)

MM:不想做,以前都是妈妈做的 (关键词:以前 妈妈)

我:以前是以前嘛 现在是现在 你已经长大了啊 女孩子要学会做饭的 你当人家

老婆 不做饭的吗? (由关键词 以前 引发 出现新的关键词 长大 老婆 ) MM:我还没想好嫁人呢。。。(关键词 嫁人)

我:你妈妈很疼你吧 (由关键词 妈妈 引发 出现新的关键词 疼 ) MM:我妈妈很疼我的啊。我是最小的嘛 当然疼我了 (关键词:最小 )

我:你是最小的?你还有兄弟姐妹? (由关键词 最小 引发 出现新的关键词 兄弟姐妹 )

MM:我姐姐啊 BLABLABLAL。。。。(一大堆)走到这里 发现这里的关键词用的差不多了 马上返回到更早谈话时的 关键词 “嫁”,这里 可以用上层 上上层 的谈话时出现的关键词展开聊天!我:你现在还没想过要嫁给什么样的人吗? (由关键词 嫁 引发 )

MM:还没想好呢 BLABLABLAL。。。。(一大堆) (关键词:没想好) 我:那你的标准是什么呢? (由关键词 没想好 引发 )

MM:我的标准嘛是。。 BLABLABLAL。。。。(一大堆) 这个时候发现她讲的话里面没有关键词了 或者说这里的关键词不利于你展开话题 马上返回到更早谈话时的 关键词 展开聊天!例如 第6行的关键词 买

我:你喜欢买东西,喜欢去购物吗? (由更早的关键词 买 引发 出现新的关键词 购物)

MM:喜欢啊 超级喜欢的 (关键词:喜欢)

我:那你还喜欢干什么?(由关键词 喜欢 引发 )

MM:喜欢唱歌,游泳,旅游啊 (出现新的关键词:唱歌,游泳,旅游) 我:哦 你喜欢唱歌 你喜欢唱谁的歌呢?

MM:。。。。。

我:哦 你喜欢游泳 你会游泳? 你游泳技术怎么样?你一般在那游? MM:。。。。。。。

我:哦你喜欢旅游 你都旅游过那些地方?感觉怎么样?

MM:。。。。。不要一直在一个关键词上纠缠下去 抓住一个关键词开聊 聊到一定程度 停! 返回上一个关键词开聊 聊到一定程度 停! 返回上一个聊到一半的关键词继续聊完 停! 返回至上上一个关键词开聊 聊到一定程度 停!返回至上上上一个关键词聊。。。。。。 你会发现 在整个聊天过程中 你没有去准备什么话题 而聊天本身就会给你带来无数的话题!你不需要准备 随时随地 都可以开始聊天 你不会有压力 ,你不会去绞尽脑汁去想我该去聊什么?因为你会有无数的话题 多到你都不知道该选择什么去聊重要的是,你有话可说,并且进入了一种良好得聊天气氛,和MM聊什么并不重要,重要得是,在这种气氛中,

是好玩有趣的,互相调侃的,幽默的聊天。 当然,这一系列的啰啰嗦嗦好像并没有重点,没有营养可言,而我要说的是,这只是一个例子,让和女孩说话时只有几句话的AFC们能有话可说,不至于冷场,我也不会就一直这么问下去,这个过程应该是互动的,我只能说,这个只是一个聊天的骨架,而要让聊天有趣起来,就必须加入框架,推拉,冷读,DHV故事使其丰满起来,使聊变得更饱满和有创意义。

(四)聊天的气氛

话说回来,我觉得聊什么话题倒是其次,真正的关键在于 「气氛」。我跟妹子聊天的时,,我不会刻意局限话题,因为 我希望营造的气氛很简单,就是让女生感觉跟我聊天很舒服、很没有压迫感。 不过女人要的不只是气氛,她们更希望遇到能够激发她们思绪的男人。

补充一点,聊天的时候尽量不要打问号,至于为什么,亲!你懂的!


第二篇:描述与陌生人聊天就注意的事项


Unit 10 It’s a nice day , isn’t it ?

Analysis of Unit 10

Teaching goals :

1. 描述与陌生人聊天就注意的事项,学习该聊些什么,如何将话题展开。

2. 通过学习与陌生人聊天来达到了解关心别人并增进友谊。 Important and difficult points :

Tag questions (附加问句)

Structure :

It’s a nice day , isn’t it ? Yes ,it is . I really love hot weather . You’re Jenny’s friend ,aren’t you . Yes , I am . The No.15 bus stops here , doesn’t it ? Yes , it does . Functions : Make small talk

Period 1

Teaching of new lesson

Step 1 Assign the task

In this unit Ss learn to make small talk .On the Bb ,draw a picture of a boy and a girl waiting for bus .Include a large sign that says Bus Stop .Draw a speed bubble over each person’s head . Step 2 Warm up

SB Page 76 , 1a .

1. Point out the four scenes .Help Ss understand that in all the pictures two people who don’t know each other (strangers) are starting a conversation .

2. Ask Ss to circle the pictures where they would talk with people they don’t know .Then have Ss write their own lists . SB Page 76 , 1b .

1. Point out the four pictures .Then read the instructions .

2. Say , You will hear three conversations .They go with three of the pictures .

3. Play the recording .Have Ss write the number of each conversation in the box next to the correct picture .

4. Check the answers .

1

SB Page 76 , 1c .

1. Ask Ss to look at the pictures in activity 1a .Then point out the sample conversation in activity 1c .Ask two students to read it to the class .

2. Say,Now work with your partner .Make your own conversations about the people in activity 1a .Use the expression in the box .

3. Ask several pairs to say one or more their conversations to the class .

Step 3 Pre-task

SB Page 77 , 2a .

1. Read the instructions and point out the sample answer .

2. Play the recording .

3. Check the answers.

SB Page 77 , 2b .

1. Read the instructions and point to the lettered list of sentences .

2. Ask different students to read the lines of the conversation to the class .

3. Play the recording .Ask Ss write the letter of each line of conversation in the correct place .

4. Check the answers .

SB Page 77 , 2c .

1. Read the instructions for the activity .

2. Point to the conversations in activity 2b .Ask a pair of students to read the conversations to the class .Then ask all students to practice the conversation in pairs .

3. Point out the questions in the box .

4. Then have Ss work in pairs .

5. Ask several pairs to come to the front of the room and say their conversations to the class .

Step 4 Grammar Focus

1. Review the grammar box .Ask students to read the questions and answers .

2. Ask Ss to give other examples of small talk that use tag questions .Help Ss find the correct Yes or No short answer to go with each question .

Exercise designing for Period 1 汉译英

1. 天看起来要下雨了,是吗?是的,但是 我忘带雨伞。 2

2. 今天真的很热,是吧?是的,我希望下一场雨。

3. 你认为到中午雨会停吗?我想会吧。

4. 火车总是晚点,是吧?我想有时是的。

教学后记:

Period 2

Teaching of new lesson

Step 1 Pre-task

SB Page 78 , 3a .

1. Read the directions .Point to the blanks in the conversations .

2. Ask Ss to think of answers that would be correct in blank 1 for example ,I’m going to the beach or I always go to the beach on hot days .

3. Ask Ss to finish writing sentences in the blanks on their own .

4. Ask some pairs of students to read their completed conversations to the class.

SB Page 78 , 3b .

1. Point out the conversation in 3a and ask Ss to read it to the class

2. Ask another student to read the list of possible conversational situations .

3. Ask pairs to practice the conversation in 3a together .

4. If the class needs help getting started have the whole class make a conversation together .

5. Next ask pairs of students to make their own conversation .

6. Ask some pairs to say their conversations for the class . Step 2 While-task

SB Page 78 , Part 4 .

1. Read the instructions .

2. Ask Ss to identify the people in the pictures .

3. Ask other students to give sample topics of conversation .Topics should be suitable for each person .

4. Ask Ss to work in groups and role play the conversations .

5. Ask a few students to share the sample conversations with the 3

rest of the class .

教学后记:

Period 3

Teaching of new lesson

Step 1 Assign task

Teach the new words .

SB Page 79 , 1a .

1. Focus attention on the four pictures .

2. Point to the pictures one by one and ask a student to read the question under each picture to the class .

3. Ask Ss to check the questions that they think are good small talk questions .

4. Check the answers .

SB Page 79 , 1b .

1. Read the instructions to the class and answer any questions Ss may have .

2. Then point out the sample conversation in activity 1b .Ask two students to read it to the class .

3. Say , Now work with your partner .Make your own conversations about the people activity 1a .

4. Ask several pairs to say one or more of their conversations to the class .

SB Page 79 , 2a .

1. Point out the chart with the list of the three conversations .Then read the instructions .

2. Say ,You will hear three conversations .The people in each conversation are in a different place .

3. Point to the answer space and say , Write your answer in these spaces .Point out the sample answer .

4. Play the recording .

5. Check the answers .

SB Page 79 , 2b .

1. Read the instructions .

4

2. Point out the sample answer .Ask a student to read the sample question and answer to the class .

3. Play the recording .Say , Now write the letter in the correct blank in the first column .

4. Check the answers .

SB Page 79 , 2c .

1. Read the instructions .Say , Now you can have your own small talk conversations with your partner .

2. Point out the list of openers and ask Ss to read these openers to the class .

3. Then ask Ss to work in pairs .Have Ss make their own small talk conversation using the openers on the list .

4. Suggest that they write down the lines of their conversation and practice saying them to each other several times .

5. Ask several pairs to say their completed conversations for the class .

Step 2 While-task

SB Page 80 , 3a .

1. Call attention to the three notes .Read the three notes to the class or have different do it .

2. Ask the class to read the letters to themselves .Discuss any questions Ss may have .

3. Read the instructions to the class .Say , Each of the notes was written for a different situation .Match each note with one of the situation .

4. Ask Ss to finish on their own .

5. Check the answers .

SB Page 80 , 3b .

1. Read and explain the instructions .

2. Say , Now read the letter to yourself and fill in the blanks .You can use words from this unit or any other words you know .

3. Ask Ss to read their letters to their partner .Ask the partner to check that the answers are correct .

4. Ask some students to read their letters to the class .

SB Page 80 , 3c .

1. Ask Ss to make a list of ideas before they write their letters .

2. Discuss these ideas .

3. Ask Ss to write a complete thank you note .

4. Correct as many of the letters as you can in class .Invite some 5

students to read their letters to the class .

SB Page 80 , Part 4

1. Read the instructions to the class .

2. Point out the handwritten notes in the picture .Ask a student to read the notes to the class .

3. Ask Ss to suggest opening questions the person standing in line might use and also possible responses the boy might give .

4. Ask students to work in pairs and hand out cards for each pair to write on .

5. Ask several pairs to say their conversation for the class .

Exercise designing for Period 3 词组翻译

1. 相处融洽 2. 帮助我复习数学课程

3. 举行他90岁的生日聚会 4. 等了十分钟

5. 浏览 6. 过街

7. 走路去上学 8. 在电梯里

教学后记:

Period 4

Teaching of new lesson

Step 1 Self Check

SB Page 81 , Part 1 .

1. Ask Ss to fill in the blanks on their own .

2. Check the answers .

3. Ask Ss to make their own sentences with the words ,preferably sentences that are meaning for .

4. Write a number of students’ answer for each word on the Bb . Step 2 SB Page 81 , Part 2

1. Read the instructions .Ss must read carefully to try to make their

6

answers fit the context .

2. Ask Ss to identify the people in the pictures .

3. Ss complete the task

4. Ask a few students to share sample conversations with the rest of the class .

Step 3 SB Page 81 , Part 3 .

1. Read the instructions .

2. Ask Ss to identify the locations in the pictures .

3. Ss complete the task .

4. Ask a few students to share sample conversations with the rest of the class .

Step 4 Review this unit .

Exercise designing for Period 4 单项选择

( )1.—Do you think it will stop raining noon ?

—Well , it is really hard to say .

A. in B. by C. on D. for

( )2. —This is great weather , isn’t it ?

—It sure is .But it’s a little hot me .

A. to B. on C. with D. for

( )3.After you finish your homework ,you can go online

for a while ,but you are not allowed computer games .

A. doing , playing B. to do , playing

C. doing , to play D. to do , to play

( )4.This is the place I spent my childhood .

A. there B. where C. that D. which

( )5.The box is heave for us carry upstairs .

A. very, to B. so, to C. too, to D. very, not to

( )6.If you go right now ,you late .

A. won’t , will B. don’t ,will be

C. won’t , are D. don’t , are

( )7.Why come a little earlier ? We have had a lot of

delicious food prepared .

A. don’t B. don’t you C. not to D. aren’t you

( fun it is to swim in the sea on such a hot day .

A. what a B. what C. How much D. How a

教学后记:

7

Review of units 6-10

Teaching contents :Review of units6-10 (SB Page 82-85) Teaching procedures :

Step 1 Leading in

1. SB Page 82 , 1a .Ask Ss to do the crossword individually .Then correct the answers .

2. SB Page 82 , 1b .Explain to the students that they need to write clues like the clues for the crossword in activity 1a .Have Ss do the activity in pairs .As they work ,move around the classroom listening and offering help where necessary .

Step 2 Pre-task

SB Page 83 , 2a .

1. Draw attention to the sample answer .Say , Each statement goes with one conversation .Now listen to the tape and write the

8

numbers of four conversations next to the statements .

2. Play the recording of conversations 1-4 .Ss listen and write the numbers in the boxes next to the pictures .Check the answers . SB Page 83 , 2b .Play the tape, Ss listen and complete the task . Repeat playing the tape as often as necessary .Check the answers . SB Page 83 , 2c .

1. Read the instructions .Explain to Ss that they should make up their own answers ,not just repeat what is on the tape .

2. Ask two or more pairs of students to practice the sample dialogue for the class .

3. Ss complete the task .Then ask some pairs of students to practice their conversations for the class .

Step 3 While-task

SB Page 84 , Part 3 .

1. Draw students’ attention to the instructions and the example .

2. Ask Ss what sorts of things bother them .

3. Tell Ss to think five things that bother them .For each thing ,Ss should write a polite request .Remind Ss to write in sentences .

4. Tell Ss to role play their requests and replies .

SB Page 84 , Part 4 .

1. Draw students’ attention to the instructions and the example .

2. Ask a few students about places where they make small talk .

3. Tell Ss to write small talk questions suitable to each of the five places .Ask Ss to use their questions to role play conversations with their partners .

4. Ask Ss to share their answers as dialogues with the class . Step 4 Post-task

SB Page 84 , Part 5 .

1. Ask Ss about things that they like and dislike .Ask for reasons . Discuss whether the reasons are good or not .

2. Tell Ss to write five things they like or dislike .

3. Ask Ss to share their likes and dislikes with their partners .The partner should ask for reasons .

SB Page 85 , Part 6 .

1. Explain to Ss that they are going to reflection what they have learned from studying English .

2. Explain that they are going to write an essay about their learning experience .

3. Students do activity on their own .Monitor and provide support 9

as required .

Step 5 Homework

SB Page 85 , Part 7 .

1. Explain to Ss that this is an opportunity for them to reflect on what they have learned ,and to make plans and resolutions to improve their learning of English .

2. Explain that they will not be marked on this section , and that their answers will remain secret .They should not feel that they should award themselves high marks , but instead give hones answers .

3. Students complete the questionnaire individually .Tell students that it is acceptable for them to write their answers in Chinese if they wish. Monitor and give help as needed .

教学后记:

10

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