初中英语教学论文范文1 英语教学的多样化
1、在课堂教学中，变教师的单向教授为师生共同进行学习的双向交流。
传统教学中，课堂教学大都是由教师传授知识，学生被动地吸收教师讲的东西，成为存贮前人留下的知识的"容器"。这是不科学的。新的教学思想认为，教师应该变知识传授为能力培养，在教学中刺激、促进学生的自我活动能力，使他们自己动脑、动手学习，从而使他们的智力得到发展，能力得到培养。
为了创设双向交流的语方情境，可以突破每节课用讲解和机械操练的方法，只教若干单词、句型或几段课文、某个语法项目的旧套路，采用跨课跨单元的整体教学法，创设语言交际的情景，经常变换学方式，与学生共同进行生动、活泼的学习活动。如以一位学生的经过精心准备的课堂报告为序幕，然后安排各种各样的学习和语言交流活动，诸如朗读、问答、会话、看图样的学习和语言交流活动，诸如朗读、问答、会话、看图说话、讲故事、表演、游戏、唱歌等等。在这种充满乐趣、轻松愉快的课堂气氛中，教师和学生的思想情感进行自然的、比较充分的交流。师生共同创造的教学过程，很好地调动了学生内在的学习动力。他们对英语学习保持着浓厚的兴趣和高度的热情。
同时，在课堂教学活动中还要注意向学生呈现语言学习的过程，指导学习方法，教学生如何学习。这能促进课堂教学逐步做到变教为学。
2、用课外小组活动补充单一的课堂教学。
在英语的教学中，教师的任务在于培养学生的语言习惯，使他们具有使用英语进行交际的能力。而语言习惯只有慢慢地通过经常不断的重复才能获得。仅靠在课内学习是不够的。学生只有在尽可能多的语言环境中接触它、使用它，才能学好并养成语言习惯。我国中学的英语课每学年还不足170学时。长期以来，很多教师采取增加课时、课外加班加点、布置大量作业等办法来扩大接触外语的机会，不但未能奏效，反而使学生负担过重，失去兴趣，以致许多人放弃学习。
因此，若将教学任务放在学生课内外和校内外的学习活动中完成就是一种有效的措施。用丰富的课外活动配合课堂教学，同时又把课堂教学内容扩展到课外活动中去。形成课内外互相补充、互相促进的综合学习方式。
3、将学生的学习从以个体方式为主变成以小组学习为主。
美国教育家布鲁姆认为，当学习转化为一种合作过程，人人都从中受益时，小组学习程序可以是十分有效的。语言学习尤其需要与别人交流，以便在使用中学习。据此，可把班上的学生分为四人一组的学习小组，四人学习小组在课堂相互合作，在课外也常常开展活动。这样学生把英语学习不只当作课内的任务，而是把课内外的活动变成一种学习的整体工作。小组活动要有目的、有指导地进行，要让学生在小组中共同学习，在小组学习的过程中充满交流和协作。伙伴们之间互相启发、互相帮助，各自又都获得很多的实践机会。这样的小组学习有效地保证了课内综合式教学有序地进行。
四人学习小组按邻近座位组成，开始时，每组指定量名能力较强的同学负责组织学习。在小组学习中，他们一起朗读、背育、预习、复习、互相提问、会话、复述课文、讲故事、研究并讨论疑难问题，还相互评改作业、举行小测验或自我测试等等。还可在小组复习之后，以小组为单位由大家命题进行期中考试。
在教学中，"小组学习"能够充分地发挥学生的学习能动性。发展"自我反馈"、"自我评价"的技能，逐步学会学习。所以说，"小组学习"又很有效地培养了学生的自学能力。
4、变单一依靠谭本和练习册为博取多种丰富的语言材料进行教学。
多样化教学体现在教材问题上的做法，可以比喻为"将羊群地放在草肥水美的大草原上去吃草，而不是只靠割些草来喂给关在栅栏里的羊"。开展这样的教学活动，需要有大量、生动有趣的语言材料来配合，只利用课本或少量的补充材料对学生重复的、机械的训练，会使学生感到学习英语是令人感到厌烦的、乏味的苦差事。
除了使用统编教材，教师还要为学生准备尽可能多的阅读、听力材料及其它学习材料供学生在课内外学习用。A、B两班的同学，以班、以小组、甚至以个人为单位订阅英语杂志和画报，同学们利用这些材料进行学习、研究和交流，，作课本的补充。通过这种活动，使学生们理解到：他们不需要在某一课书或某一节课内死盯住几个词、几个句子或某个语法项目才能学会它们，而是在接触大量的语言材料后，在语言的复现中比较灵活、也比较容易地掌握语言的。同时由于学生读得多、见得多，他们视野较广阔，在学习语言的同时，也了解一些英语国家的文化。这些正是多样化教学要达到的目的。
初中英语教学论文范文2 初中英语实施形成性评价的研究
摘要：形成性评价是一种以学生为主体，关注学生的学习过程，旨在挖掘学生学习潜力，发展学生学习能力的可持续性评价。它在初中英语教学中的实施能帮助教师了解学生，进而调控自己的教学行为，更能帮助学生认识自我，培养自主学习能力，从而实现学生的自主发展。
关键词：形成性评价，初中英语
一．课题研究的背景
教学评价是教学活动中不可或缺的一个组成部分，而对学生的学习评价则是教学评价的重点，对初中学生学习的评价实质上是对学生学习的有效结果和发展潜能所进行的整体价值判断。评价的理念、目的、内容、标准、方式和手段等无一不对教学产生重大的影响，而中国的教育从古至今已经形成了怎么考就怎么教、怎么学的传统，这样的教育教学制度使得大部分人都把考试成绩作为衡量教师教学质量好坏、学生学习成绩优劣的唯一标准，限制了教师教学的自主性，不利于学生发展的多样性。随着英语教学的发展，新的课程标准的制定，以往对学生学习的这种固有的评价制度显然已经不适应目前我国英语教学发展的现状和需求。要改变这种状况，就必须建立起一套科学的、有利于学生全面发展的评价体系。而形成性评价就是这样一种着眼于促进学生多方面发展，能对学生的学业进步和健全人格形成产生积极作用的评价方式。
《全日制义务教育普通高级中学英语课程标准》就指出：要建立能激励学生学习兴趣和自主学习能力发展的评价体系。该评价体系由形成性评价和终结性评价构成。在英语教学过程中应以形成性评价为主，注重培养和激发学生学习的积极性和自信心。终结性评价应着重检测学生综合语言技能和语言应用能力。评价要有利于促进学生综合语言运用能力和健康人格的发展；促进教师不断提高教学水平；促进英语课程的不断发展与完善。而在初中英语教学中实施形成性评价的研究则能对科学的英语评价体系的建立进行有益的探讨，促进英语教学质量的提高。
二．形成性评价的意义
以往的评价只把学生作为被动的接受者，忽视学生在评价中所占的主体地位；忽视学生的自我评价和相互评价；以入的评价只考查学生在某一阶段获得知识的多少，忽视对学习过程的评价，忽视对学生的学习态度、学习兴趣、学习策略、参与意识、合作精神等的考查，忽视对学生发现问题、解决问题能力的培养，忽视评价为学生成长和发展服务的功能。这样的评价是以学科为出发点，完全忽视了学生作为不同的个体的特殊性，忽视了学生在发展水平上的个体差异，不符合现在素质教育的“以人为本”的教育宗旨。
而形成性评价指通过观察、活动、测验、问卷调查、座谈、咨询等形式对学生的学习进展情况进行的评价。它是一种在开放的、宽松的、友好的、非正式的环境中进行的低焦虑性、可持续性评价，它关注的是学生的学习过程，评价的不仅仅是知识、技能等方面，还包括学生的学习兴趣、学习策略、学习态度、参与意识、合作精神、文化意识等不易量化的方面。目的是向师生提供学习状态进程的反馈信息，从而使教学活动能够得到及时的调节和改进，使教学效果得到及时的强化和矫正。它完全不同于以往的评价方式，具有以下几个显著的特点：
1．学生主体性。形成性评价以促进学生的全面发展为目的，在承认学生的个体差异的基础上，将学生作为有着不同的个性特征、不同兴趣爱好、不同需要的个体，对学生的知识、智力、能力、情感因素等各方面进行考虑，并力求通过评价促使学生学会自我评价和相互评价，帮助学生更清楚地认识自我，充分体现了以学生为主体的特点，完全符合素质教育“以人为本”的教育宗旨。
2．注重过程性。形成性评价是一种关注学生学习过程的持续性评价，它始终贯穿于学生学习的全过程，必须在师生共同的努力下，对教学活动进行监控、反思，使教学活动更有针对性，并始终能朝着健康的方向发展。
3．开放发展性。形成性评价促进学生自我发展的特点决定了其评价方式和手段的多样性和开放性。教师采用的是宽松、开放式的描述性评价，学生则可以在比较大的范围内自主地选择学习任务、学习材料、合作对象、完成时间等，评价结果能较准确地反映出学生的各方面情况。形成性评价中的某一任务完成的过程就是学生获取知识和形成能力的过程，能够真实地反映出学生的进步情况，使学生在学习过程中得到激励，增强学生的自信心和成就感，形成继续学习的动力，促进学生的健康成长和发展。
正是因为形成性评价有着以往评价方式所不具备的特点，充分体现了尊重学生个性的人本精神，它在初中英语教学中的实施更能发挥其不可代替的作用。形成性评价的实施能发展和强化学生的英语学习兴趣，并转化成为稳定的学习动机；培养学生的学习责任感、端正学习态度；增强学生的参与意识和团体协作精神，充分挖掘学生的学习潜力；培养学生的自我评价能力和自主学习能力；帮助学生形成有效的符合自身特点的学习策略，使他们成为学习的主人。
三．实施形成性评价的原则
1．科学性原则
初中英语学习评价的内容不仅包括语言知识、语言技能和实际交际能力，还应当包括学生在学习过程中所表现出来的情感、态度、价值观和发展潜能等。评价应包括测试型评价和非测试型评价，而且测试中听力、口试、笔试的比例要安排合理，应注意考查学生实际运用语言能力，通过测试提高学生综合语言运用能力。教师还应通过与学生交流、调查、观察、建立学生学习档案等形式对学生的课内外学习表现、参与意识、合作精神、学习态度等进行科学的评价。
2．导向性原则
形成性评价应有利于促进教学目标的实现。对学生装的学习态度、价值观和发展潜能是难以通过测试来实现的，只能通过非测试型的评价——主要是形成性评价来实现。因此，在学习评价中应当把形成性评价放在一个重要性的位置上。评价既要注重学生的学习结果，又要注重学生装的学习过程，实现评价为学生装的发展服务的功能。
3．多样性原则
形成性评价的形式要多样化，不仅要有教师对学生的评价，还要有学生装的自我评价和合作评价。教师要逐步转变角色，从“考官”角色逐渐转变为与学生合作来共同完成评价的“合作者”的角色。形成性评价要让学生有自主选择的权利，评价内容和评价方式可以让学生自己决定，不必总是教师统一规定。这有利于发挥学生装的想象力和创造性。
4．可行性原则
实施形成性评价主终结性评价并重必然要打破原有的评价体系，而这一套新的评价体系的逐渐形成必定要做大量的工作，因此在笔者在操作的过程中着重考虑简便易行，不过多加重自己和学生的负担。
四．研究目标
1．通过研究，改变原来只以英语考试成绩作为评价学生唯一标准的评价形式，把形成性评价逐步引入到初中英语学习评价中，使师生都能既关注结果，又关注过程。
2．通过实施形成性评价，使学生在英语学习的过程中不断体验进步和成功，认识自我，建立自信，形成自主学习能力，促进学生综合语言运用能力的提高。
3．通过实施形成性评价，使教师更深入到学生群体中，获取英语教学的反馈信息，对自己的教学行为进行反思和适当的调整，提高教育教学质量。
五．形成性评价的实施
本课题自2001年11月开始至2003年3月结题，笔者主要分以下几个步骤实施形成性评价：
1．制定计划
结合学生的实际情况，制定详细的实施计划：初一阶段侧重学习兴趣、态度、习惯、方法的培养；初二阶段侧重学习能力，特别是自主学习能力的培养；初三阶段使学生进一步认识中外文化的差异，形成跨文化交际能力和综合语言运用能力。
2．确定评价内容
笔者根据英语学科特点和班级实际情况，确定在英语学习评价中终结性评价占
3．2学生自我评价。自我评价是指主体对自己的思想、愿望、行为和个性特点的判断和评价。心理学家通过实验证实，那些能通过给自己确定目标，并进行自我评价、自我奖赏的学生在学习活动中比那些不能做出这样安排的学生更富有成效，学习动机的持久性超过靠别人提供条件来激发学习动机的学生。因此，培养学生的自我评价能力将有助于他们自主学习能力的培养。根据可操作性的原则，笔者结合学生的特点和英语水平帮助学生建立自己的学习档案，并以此让学生进行自我评价。学习档案主要包括以下几项内容：
个人信息档案：
让学生用英语填写个人信息卡，做到学以致用，让学生体会到英语的用处，逐步形成英语运用意识。
学习记录：
包括作业档案、平时测验档案、课外阅读档案、课外朗读档案、课外听力档案、学习任务档案等。日常学习记录能让学生随时了解自己的学习情况，制定长期或短期的学习目标，认识到自己的不足，帮助学生建立起一种自我监督的机制，学生对自己做了什么和能做什么的记录能帮助他们进行自我反思，同时也让他们更清楚地看到自己的进步，促进学生在的对自己进行评价的过程中得到激励，增强自信心和成就感。由于这是学生自己参与，能自己进行调控的评价，更能增强学生的学习责任感，为以后的学习打下更好的基础。
不定期任务记录：
每学期组织几次全班参与的节目表演或竞赛，如英语诗歌朗诵，小品表演、单词记忆赛、英语歌曲演唱等，让学生以个人或小组为单位进行充分的准备后参加，教师对其进行评定。
问卷调查表；
从教育心理学的角度看，学习过程中影响学习效果的最大因素之一是学习者的情感控制。而初中生对客观事物持什么样的态度，是以他们对事物的需求程度作为标志的，因此了解学生的学习态度、学习兴趣、学习动机，对教学进行更好的调控，能产生更好的学习效果。
学习行为评价表：
好的学习行为能产生好的学习效果，为了帮助学生形成良好的学习行为，笔者设计了学习“学习行为评价表”，要求学生每学期在期中和期末自评两次，帮助学生对自身的学习行为有更深的认识，及时调整学习进程。
3．3学生相互评价。初中生评价能力发展中的一个突出特点就是十分重视同龄人对自己的评价和看法，开始将同龄人的评价和成年人的评价同等对待，因此学生间的相互评价更是形成性评价中不可缺少的一部分。为了能使学生间的相互评价更易操作，笔者在所任教的班级内开展小组合作学习，要求小组成员之间进行相互评价。评价的内容包括学习态度、学习习惯、学习能力、合作精神等，主要通过让学生填写互评表和学生座谈的形式实施。
3．4综合评价。为了能使教师评价、学生自我评价、学生互评三者更好地结合起来，同时也为建立“教师——学生——家长”三位一体的民主评价制度创造条件，笔者在班内开展“STAR OF THE WEEK”评选。希望通过评选帮助学生树立更明确的短期和长期学习目标，使全班学生都能看到自己的进步，为英语学习注入一针强心剂。笔者在教室的墙上开辟出“STAR OF THE WEEK”板块，每周五把学生的不记名投票结果与教师的评价相结合，评出“每周之星”（1—3人），并将获奖学生的照片张贴在设计成星形的彩纸上，公布在“STAR OF THE WEEK”栏内。同时告知获选学生家长，让学生家长也能看到孩子身上更多的长处，给予孩子更多的支持与鼓励，并能参与学生评价工作中。由于每次的“STAR OF THE WEEK”评选都拥有不同的主题，如最佳课堂表现、最大进步、最佳表演、最活跃、最强责任心、最好学、最佳语音、最自信、最佳监督员、最爱欢迎者、最佳合作者等，班级内处于不同层面的学生都能有机会成为本周最灿烂的一颗星星，能有更多的学生体会到成功的喜悦、学习的乐趣，能最大限度地让学生得到充分、自由地发展。
4．加强评价过程指导，正确运用评价结果
初中生的身心发展处在由少年期向青年期的过渡，是动荡、捉摸不定的，可塑性大，自学能力加强，但自觉性和依赖性，主动性和被动性并存，因此在形成性评价的过程中教师适当的指导和总结是必不可少的。对于依赖性更强，自学能力更差的初一学生来说，教师对形成性评价过程的监督和指导尤其重要。对学生的学习档案进行定期和不定期的检查，既能帮助教师了解学生的学习情况，更能促使学生规范地做好档案记录，培养自我约束能力，逐步形成自我评价和自主学习能力，成为学习的主人。
由于形成性评价是在师生共同合作下完成的，对其结果的充分利用无疑能对师生双方都具有很强的激励作用。强调以鼓励为主的形成性评价的结果使测试成绩不理想的学生能在其它方面发现自己的优点，找到自信，继续保持他们对英语学习的兴趣；能使测试成绩优异的学生在体验成功之后，意识到自己的不足之处，再度审视自己，更加努力地寻求自我的发展；能使学生学会去发现自己的长处和别人的优点；能使学生在学习过程中始终充满信心，哪怕暂时的退步也要把它作为进步的起点，给学生带来不断上进的勇气。
对于教师来说，形成性评价的过程就是教师关注学生、关爱学生、了解学生、调控教学活动的过程，它的实施敦促教师深入到学生群体中，在充分尊重学生作为不同个体的特殊性的基础上，去了解学生在课堂学习内外的方方面面，从而进行客观的评价。形成性评价的结果能帮助教师了解学生的兴趣、爱好、学习态度、学习习惯、学习能力等方面情况，做到因材施教；能帮助教师认识并改进其在教学行为中的不足之外，做到及时调整和不断学习；能增加师生接触的机会，增进师生感情，有利于教学活动的进一步开展和教学质量的提高。
5．反思与改进
在班级内进行一学期的形成性评价研究后，笔者在感觉到形成性评价为自己和学生带来改变的同时也觉得学习档案的设计过于繁琐，还未能充分体现学生的主体性，不利于学生创造性的充分发挥。为此，在2002年第一学期到新的学校接触新的学生后，根据现在学生的特点，对原来的实施方案进行一定的改变，保留原来的教师评价、学生互评及综合评价环节，改变对学生档案的部分要求。
学习档案分为以下几个部分：个人资料卡，书面作业样本，平时测验记录，平时朗读记录，学生对自己的学习兴趣、态度与方法的评价表，不定期的任务成果（邀请函、标志、卡片等）。由于本班学生在小学里已经接受过一到两年的英语教育，具有一定的英语基础知识和英语学习能力，笔者在设计学习档案时则交给学生更大的自主权，不再对某一具体项目的格式进行规定，而是让学生自己根据个人兴趣和所学的知识进行设计、完成，笔者再根据实际情况对档案进行检查，表彰优秀者。
六．结束语
通过一年的教学实践，笔者深深地体会到形成性评价的实施对学生产生的巨大影响。首先是改变了学生以往仅仅以考试成绩来评价自己和同学的观点，学会去更全面地看待身边的人和事物，培养了学生更敏锐的观察能力和客观的评价能力；其次是增强了学生的参与意识，培养了学生的团体合作精神，促进师生间、学生间的交流与合作，帮助学生成长为社会的人；更重要的是帮助学生更好地认识自己，树立起学习的信心和责任感，学会主动地学习。形成性评价的实施在对学生产生重大影响的同时，也对教师的教学起了很大的作用。它促使教师改变以往片面地以考试成绩来衡量学生的观点，促使教师更深入地去观察学生、了解学生，对学生的各方面情况进行客观地评价，从而更好地去调控自己的教学行为，提高教育教学质量。
形成性评价确实对初中英语的教学活动起到了很大的作用，但在实施的过程中也遇到不少的问题。如有部分学生对这种评价方式的不理解导致行动上的不配合，使学习档案不完整，给综合评价带来一定的难度；部分图表设计得过于简单化、格式化，不能充分反映所评价的内容；部分评价项目比较烦琐、不够客观，不能真实反映学生的实际情况等。而最大的问题就是由于形成性评价只是在笔者所任教的一个班级内实施，难以与整个学校的教学评价体系相接轨。也正是由于这种“唯一”使得笔者在实施形成性评价的过程中缺乏交流的对象，使一些问题得不到及时有效的解决，制约了对形成性评价方式的进一步改革和完善。相信只要有更多的教师意识到英语学习评价改革的必要性，并且能积极参与到这项活动中来；相信只要通过与大家的进一步探讨，通过进一步的教学实践，就能寻找到一条更符合学生实际、更有利于学生发展的初中英语形成性评价的实施之路。
2．黄煜峰 《初中生心理学》，浙江教育出版社，1993
3．苏德宏 “发挥形成性评价在英语教学中的作用”，《中小学英语教学与研究》，2001年第2期
4．赵淑红 “形成性评价及其在小学英语教学中的实施”，《中小学英语教学与研究》，2001年第5期
初中英语教学论文范文3 How to improve your students writing level
At the moment, most of the teachers of English are trying their best to make their students improve their written English. But how to improve writing level isn’t easy. You should put hearts into it and pay much more attention to the grammar knowledge, spelling, sentences, phrases and so on. I'll tell you my ideas about how to improve your students’ writing level.
First of all, we had better ask our students to make some simple sentences according to the English grammar knowledge. If they can write down some correct sentences, they are sure to write some passages. Sometimes we can still let them translate a few interesting sentences. If they keep on making sentences, they will be confident in writing compositions. Because phrases and sentences are the basic requirement for the students of English.
Secondly, we can ask our students to discuss about the interesting and instructive topics. For example, the students have learned something about travel. Let them discuss where they have ever been to and which places are beautiful and interesting. First, we can ask them to write down the outlines of the story. In my opinion, this is one of the most effective methods to improve their writing skills. In this way, they'll be interested ion expressing their ideas in English. In fact, interest is the best teacher in learning everything. So I suggest that we teachers of English should develop the students’ interests. Step by step, they are glad and active to write compositions. The teachers needn’t force them to write, while they'll be active to express their thoughts.
Thirdly, I suggest that we should guide our students to write after they have finished looking at some interesting and instructive pictures which are formed onto a story. At the beginning, we had better guide them to have some discussion about it. Then they can make up a whloe story in the limited time. I advise that the pictures we’ll choose should be easy for them to read .If they can understand the meaning of the story very easily, they are able to express their ideas better, otherwise they'll be bored.
Fourthly, our students should try to form good habits of making diaries every day, at least they had better write down some stories every week. As teachers of English, we should encourage them to write more in English. On the other hand, we should be strict in our work and with our students. We should ask our students to hand in their compositions on time and ought to check their articles in time.
My last advice is that we can hold some English Composition Competition regularly. We’ll give the excellent students some prizes and put up their compositions on the wall of the classrooms. By doing this, they are willing to write once they have free time. They'll be interested in it. If some of them can really write wonderful articles, we can introduce their articles to some English magazines or newspapers, such as English Weekly, which is very popular to most of the middle school students in our country.
All in all, it’s very important and necessary for us teachers of English to improve our students writing level. We should try all kinds of the most advanced methods to teach them to write more and better. The more, the better!
初中英语教学论文范文2 Parenting and Children’s Development
The family is a place in which children learn to interpret reality. Parents serve as significant interpreters for children of information about the world and children's abilities. They are children’s first teachers. Parents want their children to grow into socially mature individuals, and they may feel frustrated in trying to discover the best way to accomplish this development. Parenting styles are broad patterns of child rearing practices, values, and behaviors. According to Diana Baumrind, four types of parenting styles are indulgent (more responsive than demanding), authoritarian (highly demanding and directive but not responsive), authoritative (both demanding and responsive), and indulgent (low in responsiveness and demanding ness) Children from authoritarian family are often aggressive, fearful, and anxious, they often have weak communication skills. Children associated with authoritative parenting, are happy, cheerful, self-controlled and cope with stress. Children from indulgent family are aggressive, spoiled, and noncompliant, they have difficulties in peer relations. Children associated with neglectful parenting are lack of self-control, social incompetence and delinquency.Children’s emotions are often affected by parenting. Parents are kids’ first important teachers. According to John Gottman, “Parents are kids’ emotion coachers, and they teach their kids strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs. Even more than IQ, emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine one’s success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships”(P20-21). So it’s very important to use good parenting at home. Authoritative parentings is the best parenting style, because it is good for children’s emotion development, and because authoritative parents acknowledge their children’s feelings and accept them unconditionally, they can set acceptable standards, and they help to promote children’s independence.
Authoritative parents can understand their children’s feeling and teach them how to regulate them. They often help them to find appropriate outlets to solve problems. John Gottman said, “They don’t ignore or deny their kids’ feelings. Nor do they belittle or ridicule their children for emotional expression” (P38). They have knowledge of their children’s feeling. For example, my son felt very sad and worried when he heard his best friend would move to another city. He talked to me about that: “ My best friend will move next month. Whom can I play with?” I understood his feeling, and said, “ I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t worry. His new home is not far from here. We can visit him and he can come back to visit us. Also, you can make another good friend. You will face lots of separation in your life. You should be strong.” I also told him about my sadness. After talking, he felt better and began to know how to handle this kind of situation. Authoritative parents have a strong awareness of their own emotions and those of their loved one. John Gottman believes, “They can see value in their children’s negative emotions; they have more patience when their children are angry, sad, or fearful.”(P40). Authoritative parents are concerned about their kids. They seem to be willing to spend time with a crying or fretful child, listening to their worries, empathizing with them, letting them went their anger, or just cry it out. They are responsible parents.
Authoritative parents provide a warm and friendly family climate. There is good communication between parents and children in authoritative family. Good communication helps children and parents to develop confidence, feelings of self-worth, and good relationships with others. One of our most important responsibilities as parents is to listen to our children, hearing not only their words, but also the feelings behind their words. When parents talk to the children, they must show great respect for their children’s feelings. They must feel what their children are feeling. Ginott believed: “Statements of understanding should precede statements of advice”(P44). He discouraged parents from telling children what they ought to feel, because that simply makes children distrust their feelings. He said kid’s emotions do not disappear when parents say, “Don’t feel that way,” He believed that while not all behavior is acceptable, all feelings and wishes are acceptable. Therefore, parents should set limits on acts, but not emotions and desires, because communication about emotions can serve as a way for parents to teach their children values.
Authoritative parents also expect mature, promote independence and appropriate behavior of children. They teach children to calm down and focus attention. When they calm down, they can concentrate in finding ways to solve the problems. Psychologists say people are very easy to lose control when they get mad, so it is very easy to do wrong thing. For example, my son is ten years old. He is very easy to get mad or excited. When he gets mad, I don’t blame him. I know I have to calm down so that I can teach him to do so. I always tell him slowly and tenderly: “Can you tell me what’s going on? Maybe I can help you. Don’t worry. Mum is
here with you. Let me help you to find a good way.” Sometimes I teach him to do some exercise to relax. I teach him to do deep breath when he is mad. After deep and slow inhalation and breathing for five to six times, he feels peaceful and relaxes. It really works. Learning to calm down and focus attention become increasingly important as the children mature. Learning to be calm also helps the child to concentrate in learning situations and to focus on the achievement of specific tasks. And, as a child grows, it’s extremely helpful for learning how to share toys. This skill can make a big difference in a child’s ability to enter new playgroups, make new friends, and handle rejection when peers turn away.
Although some people think authoritarian parenting is associated with school success, children from this kind family are often aggressive, fearful, and anxious and have weak communication skills, because parents have too many restrictive, punitive disciplines for their children to follow. They are also rejecting to children. My parents used authoritarian parenting in my family. There are three children in my family. My mother used the same style to us all. I don’t think it is best for parents or caretakers to use the same style, because different families have different children, even in the same family, children are different from each other. It’s better for them to use eclectic parenting style. We didn’t like authoritarian parenting, because we had no any opportunity to tell our feeling or argue. What we could do is “shut up” and “ follow my words.” According to John Gottman, “Family life is our first school for emotional learning” (P20). It’s true. All of us have developed into difficult emotional persons. Both of my brothers are over forty now. They are really aggressive. They have problems in communication skills and fail to initiate activity. They also still use the same parenting to educate their children now. Especially my second elder brother, his family has lots of problems just because of his temper. He often jells to his children and fight with his wife. I am timid, fearful and have weak communication skill, too. I am afraid to express my opinion in public. Though we are adults
now, we are all lack of confidence. We are still under the shadow of this kind of parenting and have influence to our kids. According to Goleman, families with authoritarian parents “seem unable to function well either because they cannot set guidelines, or because they do not pursue interests that involve places and persons outside the family" (P 39). This makes it more difficult for children to develop self-knowledge and differentiate their own career goals from their parents' goals.
Good parenting can help parents to make good emotional kids and have a happy family. The authoritative style balances clear, high expectations with emotional support and recognition of children's autonomy. Children associated with this kind of family are happy, cheerful, self-controlled and cope with stress. They have fewer behavior problems, and are better able to bounce back from distressing experiences. Children can do better in terms of academic achievement, health, and peer relationships. Gottman believes “the children who learn to acknowledge and master their emotions are more self-confident as well as physically healthier. They also do better in school and are more likely to grow into emotionally healthy adults”(50).
Please use authoritative parenting at home. It is very good for your children’s motional development.
Bibliography:
Santrock, John Life – Span Psychology
Ginott, Haim Between Parent and Child
Goleman, Dianiel Emotional Intelligence
Gottman, Hohn and Daniel Goleman
The Heart of Parenting Intelligent Child