1 Aug.
New Discovery
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
New Words：
discovery [dis5kQvEri] n. 发现, 发明的东西
hillbilly [5hil7bili] n. 山地内部的贫农, 山地人
pudgy [5pRdVI] adj. 矮胖的
step [step] v. 走, 举步, 移步, 踏
amazement [E5meizmEnt] n. 惊愕, 惊异
drawl [drC:l] v. 懒洋洋地说, 做作而慢慢地说
elevator[5eliveitE] n. 电梯, 升降机, [空]升降舵
blink [bliNk] v. 眨眼, 闪亮, 无视
Grammar：
Question:
Why did the hillbilly say that he should have brought his wife?
Answer:
新发现
一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!”
2 Aug.
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
New words：
campus [5kAmpEs] n. <美>校园, 大学教育
telegram [5teli^rAm] n.电报
flunk [flQNk] vi.失败, 放弃, 考试不及格 vt.使不及格
prepare [pri5pZE] v.准备, 预备, 有能力而且愿意
response [ris5pCns] n.回答, 响应, 反应
Grammar：
Question:
Why did his pop say that he would prepare himself？
Answer：
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”
两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
3 Aug.
Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. When I say: “Good afternoon,” the undergraduates respond: “Good afternoon.” But the graduate students just write it down.
New words:
graduate from v.从...毕业
undergraduate [7QndE5^rAdjuit] adj.大学生的
flunk [flQNk] vi.失败, 放弃, 考试不及格 vt.使不及格
prepare [pri5pZE] v.准备, 预备, 有能力而且愿意
response [ris5pCns] n.回答, 响应, 反应
Grammar：
Question:
What’s the difference between a graduate class from an undergraduate class？
Answer：
.
区 别
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
4 Aug.
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
New words:
pill [pil] n.药丸
prescribe [pris5kraib] v.指示, 规定, 处(方), 开(药)
awake [E5weik] vi.醒, 觉醒 vt.唤醒 adj.警觉的, 醒的
alarm [E5lB:m] n.警报,警告器 vt.恐吓, 警告
stroll [strEul] v.闲逛, 漫步, 跋涉于
Grammar：
Question:
Where was Bob on Monday and Tuesday？
Answer：
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
5 Aug.
Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
New words:
creative [kri(:)5eitiv] adj.创造性的
apply [E5plai] vt.申请
realize [5riElaiz] vt.认识到, 了解
list [list] vt.列出, 列于表上 vi.列于表上
qualification [7kwClifi5keiFEn] n.资格, 条件, 限制, 限定, 赋予资格
program [5prEu^rAm] vi.编程序
neglect [ni5^lekt] vt.忽视, 疏忽, 漏做
mention [5menFEn] vt.提及, 说起
Grammar：
Question:
What had the man neglected？
Answer：
创造性
第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。
没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。
6 Aug.
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
New words:
employee [7emplCi5i:, im5plCii] n.职工, 雇员, 店员
slippery [5slipEri] adj.滑的, 光滑的
show up v. 揭露, 露出, 露面
slip [slip] vi.滑动, 滑倒vt.使滑动
suspiciously [sEs5piFEsli] adv.猜疑着, 怀疑着
give up v.放弃(念头、希望等), 停止, 抛弃, 认输
Grammar：
Question:
How did the employee get the office？
Answer：
你是怎样来的？
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”
7 Aug.
Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.”
New words:
benevolent [bi5nevElEnt] adj.慈善的
mood [mu:d] n. 心情, 情绪; (精神)状态
prisoner [5priznE] n. 囚犯,战俘
defendant [di5fendEnt] n.被告
offense [E5fens] n.违法：违反法律；一种犯罪
counter [5kauntE] vt.反驳，回答
Grammar：
Question:
Did the prisoner has offense ？
Answer：
采购过早
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”
在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。
8 Aug.
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
New words:
midway [5mid5wei] n.中途, 半路 adj.中途的,中间的
tactics [5tAktiks] n.战术, 策略
compete [kEm5pi:t] vi.比赛, 竞争
owner [5EunE] n.所有者, 业主
rent [rent] v. 租, 租借, 出租
adjoining [E5dVCiniN] adj.邻接的, 隔壁的
mall [mC:l] n.购物商场, 商业街
observer [Eb5zE:vE] n.观测者, 观察员
mayhem [5meIhem] n. 混乱
retailer [ri:5teilE] n.零售商人
gigantic [dVai5^Antik] adj.巨人般的, 巨大的
bargain [5bB:^in] n.便宜货
proclaim [prE5kleim] vt. 宣布, 声明, 显示, 显露
slash [slAF] v.猛砍,大量削减
fantastic [fAn5tAstik] adj.幻想的, 奇异的
discount [5diskaunt] n.折扣
state [steit] vt. 声明, 陈述
Grammar：
Question:
who was the most attractive retailer？
Answer：
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条林荫道上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
9 Aug.
Visual Training
The squad were having "visual training". One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so far away that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied:
"Sexteen men and a sergeant, sir."
"Right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
"He's not doing any digging, sir."
New words:
visual [5vizjuEl] adj.看的, 视觉的, 形象的, 栩栩如生的
training [5treiniN] n.训练, 练习
squad [skwCd] n.班
recruit [ri5kru:t] n.新兵, 新分子, 新会员
compose [kEm5pEuz] v. 组成
dig [di^] v. 掘, 挖, 钻研, 搜集
mere [miE] adj.小的；轻微的
unhesitatingly adv.不踌躇地,坚定地,迅速地
sergeant [5sB:dVEnt] n. 中士, 警官, 军士
Grammar：
Question:
How did the recruit know that there was a sergeant？
Answer：
视力训练
班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫的回答：
“十六个士兵和一个中士，长官。”
“正确。可你如何知道那儿有一个中士？”
“他不干活，长官。”