As is shown in the pictures, we can see that with Sharply decreased/increases. In one picture/In the picture/In one’s mind, there On the contrary/In the second picture/The caption reads,“ ”/In the one’s mind , there was .
The purpose of the pictures/cartoon is to show us that
due attention has to be paid . obviously decreased/shrunk/risen. If we let this situation go as it is, we do not know will be in the future. By Therefore, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures.
of people are vital to us. Only in this way can we . Also I believe that we human
beings and we will have a brighter future.
第二篇:我总结的墨东博考研作文模板
写 实
P1 龙眼
As is vividly(illustrated/depicted/conveyed/revealed/betrayed) in the picture, (图的内容1the two pet neighbors greet each other politely and amicably ,whereas (while/on the other hand)the two pets’ owners seem to ignore between(each other) aloofly).
Simple as it is, the drawing sets us[U1] pondering a awfully.Accordingly, much inspiration can be drawn from what this far-reaching/thought-provoking picture witness:(图反映的现实2 pets, rather than/instead of people around them, are such an indispensable part in their daily lifeto the point where[U2] they are excessively/inordinately[U3] fond of their beloved animals while neglecting those who care them, which has aroused great concern and should be given enough consideration).
It speaks volumes for the concept that(TS3 indifference should be ruled out, with harmonious society echoed vigorously nowadays in china.)
1批判:先扬后抑
歌颂:先抑后扬
图的内容 原则上用一个主从句表达, 功底。两句合一句的途经: 1、AND连结;2、WHICH或WHEREAS连结;3、非谓语
2to the point where加以讲解
excessively/inordinately负面词汇,作者的态度尽在不言中,回避使用 I believe ,I think 之类的句式
3TS + Background
02~04: China is entry into WTO
05: Harmonious society
06: The honor and disgrace values
07~11: Scientific development values--Human life and ecology system
TS的语言组织
Weigh A against B---在A和B之间权衡利弊(against:在…的背景下)
Where 定从:1具体
2抽象 to the point where…以至于
独主 with+S+V-ing/V-ed(主谓、动宾)
1 Nothing + be + adj + than + to + do
2 On no account can we
3 It is time + S + V-ed
4 It 无主句
5 ……ought to be weighed/taken/pondered/seriously
4注意使用关联词,突出TS
P2
Why do we lay emphasis on this[U4] ? Several points[U5] ()analyzed below might equip us with theprofound message of what we are heading for.[U6]
To begin with,[U7] since we have to live on an on-the-move[U8] lifestyle , we are denied[U9] chances to share our feelings with our friends and relatives.
In addition,with so many dishonesties running around our society, the indifference happened in turn we have no choice but to enjoy the company of pets.
And above all,too many tragedies as to the indifference--seeing someone in mortal danger without lifting a finger to save him--put on the stage of our daily life, which is threatening situation we are unwilling to face(此句仅用于负面评价).
No better illustration of this view touched on above can be taken than the case as listed below: [U10] (1a crowd of people remained appallingly[U11] nonchalance[U12] to the plea of a mother, since she failed to offer the required amount of cash[U13] as a price to save her drowning son, the woman at last watched her son sink to death.)
2At the end of the day, no issue in china stands as critical to build up the society in harmony as ironing out of indifference among people.
1例证,举例:1实例
2引语 eg:1As the famous saying goes:
2As many famous ecologists put it:[U14]
3数据 eg:According to the latest survey conducted by concerning department,……[U15]
论点的具体体现:RP原则
2小结
1 与TS首尾呼应,重复原则
2 为第三段起势
3Benard Show---No issue stands as critical to A as B.[U16]
在没有比B对A更关键的了
P3
Judging from what has been argued above, we have come to recognize that the harms arising from indifference has been, like Pandora’s box[U17] , the crippling force[U18] of establishing the harmony society.
It is , therefore, inperative that some effective steps should be taken to(1点主题 重复原则narrow and bridge[U19] the gap[U20] among people.)
On one hand,(2依法治国the government should make law to set up[U21] the society in which people live in harmony. )
On the other hand,(3依德治国 people should enhance the awareness of caring each other especially when they were young. )
Only by undergoing[U22] these measures, can we make our society, where people, even not knowing each other, help among them, appeal to everyone
. 【网络综合 - GMAT研究生管理考试指南】:
写作技巧(一)
本文是根据网友willingking写的一篇05真题作文所做的述评,在分析全文的基础上谈了几点写作技巧,希望对广大考生有所帮助。尤其是处于写作初级阶段的考生,可以拿来参考一下。
下面以willingking的第一段来剖析得失。
willingking的第一段析评:
As is shown by the above picture, we can see a hand which is putting on a computer mouse. The mouse is linked to the computer closely by an iron chain. Studying further, we will obtain more meanings. First and foremost, the iron chain stands for the addiction to the computer. Besides, the hand presents people who nearly have a habit/strong interest in using/use computers.
「总体评语」
总得来说,第一段如果作为应试的文章还可以将就。但是如果从写作的角度上说,就显得很平淡了,只是简单地描述了一下图画,指出了其中的喻义而已。这样来写,文章的价值就显得不够。就这样一件事真的值得写一篇文章来讨论吗?读者或许会这样发问的。
如果想要把文章写活,对于这一幅画就应当“小题大做”。第一段中似乎应当造成某种冲突。我们甚至不必想象就知道,电脑原本是应方便、快捷之运而产生的。而图画中则变成了一种耗费时间与精力的事物了——它的功能在某种意义上走向了反面。
另外,这一部分中还缺少了控制全篇的主题陈述。这样一来,这一段读完,读者仍然不知道作者究竟有什么样的观点、看法。这是一个比较严重的失误。
「技巧评语」
从第三句开始的写法还是可以的。首先指出了图画有多重意义,后面两句具体叙述意义体现在什么地方。语句之间还有过渡词语,两重意义体现得较为清晰。
「语言评价」
第一句有点罗嗦,而表现力不够。其实为了突出人受电脑的控制,完全可以这样来写 As is shown in the picture, a hand is glued tightly/firmly to the mouse.这一句中的其他不足在于As…picture中,介词应当用in;we … mouse至少可以更简洁,we can see a hand on a computer mouse.
第二句中的will用得不好,语气有点生硬,不如用may显得柔和。另外,meaning也不准确,似应当用implications.
第四句表达欠准确,我的意思是指该句没有能够充分体现电脑对人的控制。另外,该句中的过渡词语first and foremost中的and foremost是没有用的。事实上,第四、五句之间看不出哪个比哪个重要。这里用了foremost人为加强第一层含义,显得没有道理。提醒作者们注意,过渡词语只能表现被描述事物之间的关系,而不能够创造它们之间的关系。或许willingking是背模板套用的,但这样的只套用而不活用显然对写作是不利的,让人觉得这个过渡词语是陈词滥腔。
写作技巧(二)——关于引入部分的写作
很多朋友对这一分部写作的功能不太清楚。我们可以问这样一个问题:为什么考研作文要考生对图画进行描述?难道是仅仅为了考查考生的语言描述能力?我认为绝没有这么简单。因为,如果仅仅是为了考查考生的语言描述能力,考生在作文中其他地方表现出来的语言能力就足以让人判断出考生的语言水平如何了。其实,引入段有其在成文过程中的功能。
第一是引入话题;
第二是为整篇文章垫定价值意义,也就是这个话题为什么值得写这篇文章;
第三是作者对话题中涉及的事物提出自己明确、个体的看法,亦即陈述统摄全篇的主题思想。这一点很重要;英语写作(说明文与议论文)一般是不需要也不应当让读者去归纳主题思想的,作者应当将自己的看法、观点明确的告诉读者。
「这里需要指出的是,在很多考生作文练习中都缺乏主题陈述,以致造成文章中后面的扩展段落部分常常走题。让人读了觉得“言虽多而不要其中”。可见在引入部分不写主题,但这样的只套用而不活用显然对写作是不利的,让人觉得这个过渡词语是陈词滥腔。
写作技巧(二)——关于引入部分的写作
很多朋友对这一分部写作的功能不太清楚。我们可以问这样一个问题:为什么考研作文要考生对图画进行描述?难道是仅仅为了考查考生的语言描述能力?我认为绝没有这么简单。因为,如果仅仅是为了考查考生的语言描述能力,考生在作文中其他地方表现出来的语言能力就足以让人判断出考生的语言水平如何了。其实,引入段有其在成文过程中的功能。
第一是引入话题;
第二是为整篇文章垫定价值意义,也就是这个话题为什么值得写这篇文章;
第三是作者对话题中涉及的事物提出自己明确、个体的看法,亦即陈述统摄全篇的主题思想。这一点很重要;英语写作(说明文与议论文)一般是不需要也不应当让读者去归纳主题思想的,作者应当将自己的看法、观点明确的告诉读者。
「这里需要指出的是,在很多考生作文练习中都缺乏主题陈述,以致造成文章中后面的扩展段落部分常常走题。让人读了觉得“言虽多而不要其中”。可见在引入部分不写主题陈述不仅对读者造成不便,也容易使作者(尤其是初级英语写作者)难以控制自己的思路。」
而这上面三点中第三点、第二点比第一点更重要。因为第三点控制着全文,第二点决定了第一点的写法。所以有时候作者会在第一段的一开始就提出看法、观点,然后再去描述现象或事件;而有时候作者会在引入部分先进行描述,然后才提出看法、观点。无法将两种写法的差异归纳而条理化,很多考生都做不到,所以请大家在平时的阅读中自己体会。一般情况下,作者的观点是不会出现在描述过程中的;也就是说,大家要么将主题陈述放在引入部分的开始,要么放在这一部分的最后。但无论如何,陈述主题是必需的。
也正是因为以上三点在引入部分的重要性的不同,对于事件的描述,有的时候是可以放入一个从句中去而成为一种背景信息,而不必非将它作为独立的部分写出不可(这一点请不熟悉作文模板的考生勿试,试不好会画虎不成反类犬的,请谨慎)。
就willingking的第一段试改如下,以供参考。
As is shown in the picture above, a hand is tightly glued to a computer mouse linked to a personal computer by an iron chain. Clearly, the iron chain stands for the control of the computer over the person who indulges himself in the cyberspace. An implication from the picture can be figured out that the personal computer, a high-tech device originally created for saving time and energy so as to benefit humankind, ironically turns out to be a gadget murdering the time and energy of quite some people.
willingking的第二段析评:
Obviously, it goes without saying that the drawing aims at revealing a common and serious problem: today, more and more people indulge themselves in playing computers . Due to lack of self-control, people indulge in computer deeply. What's more, this addiction does more harm to humankind than good. For instance, when a student gets lost in games, he should loses his interest in study. Similarly, when an adult indulges in on-line games, he may totally lacks concern about other stuffs. By indulging in games, they may get lost when they are dropping into the fictitious characters and fabricated stories and may not care for the reality.
「总体评语」
这一段写得甚至还不如第一段。首先,第一句中more and more people indulge … computers这里的语义已与第一段中的addiction有简单复重之嫌。而第二句则更是如此,直截了当地重复第一句中的indulge.依我之见,这两句如果要保留其中一句,那也应当将这一句放到上面一段中去,直接将这作为一个问题(problem)接在对图画的描述之后,或放在对图画的描述之前,作为引入句。
这一段还有一个毛病,读起来让人觉得是为了说问题而说问题,不太像是第一段合乎逻辑的发展。我猜测,可能是作者写到这里不知怎样下笔才出了如此下策。
「技巧评语」
从第三句开始的写作意识还算不错。第三句可以算作一个比较浅显的观点,第四、五句可以看作是对第三句的举例说明。然而第六句呢,我看不出这一句的具体功用:它似乎应当是一个与第三句平行或深入的一个观点,却无下文加以扩展,说明又像是对前两个事例的总体评说,如果真是这样,那么作者就并没有明确地表现这一点。第六句的写作是犯了写作的大忌,语句功能不清。
「语言评语」
第一句,套用写作模板,机械的历害。… it goes without saying that可以直接删除,aims也可以去掉,common太过分,不如用wide spread.另外,what‘s more这个过渡词无法使得下文与前面两句衔接起来,起不到承上启下的作用。第四、五句中分别有很不应该犯的语法失误:he should loses;he may …lacks处的两个动词都应当用原形。
[U1]段中句承上启下
[U2]to the point where加以讲解
[U3]excessively/inordinately负面词汇
[U4]this指代词表过渡
[U5]points复数,总分总的标志
[U6]首句意为:下面所分析的几个要点对我们所面对的问题使我们有更深刻的理解
[U7]to begin with,in addition,and above all为分述标志
[U8]on-the-move,节奏明快的
[U9]deny,剥夺,失去
[U10]再没有比下列所描述的事实更能说明上述所描述的观点了:
[U11]appallingly,令人震惊的
[U12]nonchalance=indifference,论据是论点的具体体现,主题核心词汇重复
[U13]amount of cash,现金
[U14]as sb. put it,正如sb所说
[U15]根据有关部门最近的调查……
[U16]在没有比B对A更关键的了
[U17]Pandora’s box
Aladdin’s lamp
前面加like,最好充当插入语
[U18]Crippling force阻碍力
Driving force推动力(东风)
[U19]Bridge,弥补
[U20]Gap=Indifference
[U21]Set up=Establish
[U22]undergoingócarrying out