Thank you!
First and foremost, I wanna personally thank the human rights campaign for the incredible work that they’ve done and the work they continue to do. Not only here in Washington State but across the country and around the world, as we all know, this work is critical. It’s life-changing. It’s life-saving. It is my great honor and privilege to be here tonight, to count myself a member of this community. It is also something of a surprise. I’ve had a complicated relationship with that word “community”. I’ve been slow to embrace it. I’ve been hesitant. I’ve been doubtful. For many years, I could not or would not accept that there was anything in that word for someone like me, like connection, support, strength, warmth. And there are reasons for that. I wasn’t born in this country. I didn’t grow up in any one particular religion. I have a mixed race background. And I’m gay. Really, it just your typical all American boy next door. It’s been natural to see myself as an individual. It’s been challenge to imagine myself as part of something larger. Like many of you here tonight, I grow up in what I would call “survival mode”. When you are in survival mode, you focus is on getting through the day in one piece. When you are in that mode at five, at ten, at fifteen, there isn’t a lot of space for words like community, for words like us and we. There’s only space for I and me. In fact, words like us and we not only sound foreign to me at five, and ten, and fifteen, they sounded like a lie. Because if us and we really existed, if there was really someone out there watching, and listening and caring, then I would have been rescued by now. That feeling of being singular, different and alone carried over my twentieth, and then to my thirtieth. When I was thirty-three, I started working on a TV show that was successful not only here in the states but also abroad, which meant over the next four years, I was traveling to Asia, to the middle east, to Europe and everywhere in between. And in that time, I gave thousands of interviews. I have multiple opportunities to speak my truth which is that I was gay. But I chose not to. I was out privately to family and friends, to the people I learnt to trust over time, but professionally, publicly I was not. As to choose between being out of integrity and out of the closet, I chose the former, I chose to lie, I chose to dissemble. Because when I thought about the possibility of coming out, about how that might impact me and the
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